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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Anyone else with a DH who won't talk about possible names?

25 replies

SaltyGoodness · 31/10/2013 19:28

We're at 32 weeks and he's still avoiding the subject.... he's so thrilled about this long awaited baby... but he knows I'm a bit of a name obsessive and have been for years. Maybe that's why he won't even have a discussion about names?

Any tips?

OP posts:

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bundaberg · 31/10/2013 19:29

well yes... choose them yourself!

I made a list and then said "here's my list, see which ones you like"

daughterofafarmer · 31/10/2013 21:46

I have one...

The trick is the pick the right moment, just after supper is best time for my DH... whist we're getting ready for bed isn't

What I do, is suggest 1 or 2 names and then leave it. By letting him think them over, he's come back with a few more

daughterofafarmer · 31/10/2013 21:48

Whist far to many faces

daughterofafarmer · 31/10/2013 21:49

Please ignore me I'm very tried.

Retroformica · 01/11/2013 06:55

Email him and get him to mark them out of 10

GwendolineMaryLacey · 01/11/2013 06:57

Just ab

GwendolineMaryLacey · 01/11/2013 06:58

Just announce "I've decided to call him/her unless you've any objections." Wait for comment, if none job done.

Doitnow · 01/11/2013 07:14

Mine was a bit like this. I just kept mentioning different ones and then if he didn't hate them, they went on the shortlisting. About a week before dd was born (1 week over due!!) he managed to have a proper conversation about it and we love the final decision!
It did rather take the fun out of it so I have sympathy for you!
Good luck.

Oriunda · 01/11/2013 07:22

We didn't discuss names at all. Deal was if baby was a boy then DH would choose, if a girl I would. Only condition was that family mn had to be included. I found out DS's name just after I gave birth to him!

We were very superstitious, having lost 2 pregnancies before. Maybe your DH is like that?

pinkbear82 · 01/11/2013 07:23

Snap.
And annoyingly if I brought it up and he didn't want to talk about it he would suggest random ideas.
Helpfully sarcasm he got sent to prison when I was 34 weeks pregnant, writing to tell him I liked x for a girl and y for a boy didn't meet any objections! He came home a week after dd was born and said he knew I would pick the perfect name so he was never worried creep

You will get there, no baby is without a name for long.

Wishfulmakeupping · 01/11/2013 07:30

My oh refused to talk about names until 20 weeks which drove me mad but 32 weeks I'd be tearing my hair out.
Yy to emailing any you like I sent him really long lists which he said no to all but at least I knew what he hated- granny-chic names. Oh wanted something that would suit a baby or grown up managed to get him to pick 10 names he liked in the end there was only 1 name that we both liked

sonlypuppyfat · 01/11/2013 07:34

All our DCs names were my choice to be fair I have very good taste! I had a couple of ideas that he wasn't as keen on. When a man carries for 9 months and then gives birth then it can be his choice.

Caip · 01/11/2013 07:38

Yep, he says we should wait until baby's born. Not a chance, I've been thinking about names for years!

msmiggins · 01/11/2013 07:43

I can see your Ohs point of view i didn't choose my babies.' names until they were a week old. I wanted to see what they looked like and if a name would suit them. OH and I drew up a list of names before baby was born and we made the final decision after meeting our new baby.
Would that be an option? At least if you could agree on 6 or 8 names then wait and see.
I didn't want to choose a name before my baby was born.

WillSingForCake · 01/11/2013 07:48

Mine was a bit like this. I ended up printing the list of the top 200 girls names (we'd found out the gender) and getting him to cross off the ones he felt were a definite no, and going from there. Think he found it easier than just casting around in his head for a name!

cathpip · 01/11/2013 07:55

My dh is under the stupid illusion that apparently I choose both our dc's names and therefore he gets to pick this ones names! Well a slight discussion occurred were he was informed politely that names were and always have been a joint decision. Our lovely friends who we were having dinner with at the time are now short listing three names for us to choose from. :)

KirjavaTheCorpse · 01/11/2013 08:15

Yes. Mine. I'm due on Sunday

He reluctantly told me one name he 'kind of likes, in the way that it's a nice name but I wouldn't name my child it' - Alegra. Which I hate.

Argh it's so frustrating.

I have a name I love though, which he thinks we can 'improve' on. With no help from him obviously. Oh well!

PinkParsnips · 01/11/2013 09:41

Mine has been a bit of a pain with names too!

Not so much won't discuss it but will veto a name I really like eg Grace, then two weeks later he'll suddenly pipe up ." what about Grace?" Er you hated it two weeks ago? "Oh no I like it." Then two weeks later I'll say..so on the list we've got Grace...oh no dont like it .... And repeat for the next name. Arghh!!!!

CarryOnDancing · 01/11/2013 10:38

That's exactly what DH does to me PinkParsnips. He's done it with at least 10 names so far. The latest was when I showed him the current shortlist and he laughed and said "Austin?! Who names their kid that". Well apparently him as I added it the week before at his request!! I don't even particularly like it, I was just relieved to be adding a name of his choice.

The lines of communication on names have opened since I asked him if he just wants me to pick the name. I then proceeded to keep using the same name that I know he hates. Now all of a sudden he is coming up with suggestions. It's just a shame I hate them all!!

Oriunda-did you like the name your OH picked? That's a very brave method of naming!

Oriunda · 01/11/2013 11:15

Yes, I love it. The second name is my father & brother's mn and third name is for DH's favourite footballer! Luckily it turned out well but yes I agree an unorthodox method!

Wishfulmakeupping · 01/11/2013 12:07

pink my oh liked Darcy as a name for our dd I ruled it out anyway came home from baby group a few weeks back talking about a new baby called Darcy he said 'what kind of name is that?' ...erm one that you pestered me about when I was 8 months gone!

weaselinthenight · 01/11/2013 16:08

When I was pregnant with DC1 we each wrote 3 names on a whiteboard, and 'practised' them for a few days. Then we each erased one and replaced it with something else. It was great, and we ended up with a truly joint decision name.

Now I'm pregnant with DC2, he just says 'oh we'll find something', but never makes any suggestions! And then vetoes my suggestions by googling them until he finds someone ghastly with the name...

Original poster

SaltyGoodness · 14/11/2013 03:46

Success!!! Finally got DH to talk names with just 6 weeks to our baby girl appears. We have a shortlist of 4 names we both like (3 of them were on my shortlist) and will see what feels right when she arrives.

Apparently he didn't want to talk names because I have too many rules and hard line views on the subject

OP posts:

MummyPig24 · 14/11/2013 05:46

I'm 22 weeks. We don't know what we are having but I don't think there is any harm in having a few possibilities. Dh just suggests stupid names, he's only joking but I can't see this baby having a name for a few days after it is born. He did issue me with an approved short list of girls names. There were only 3 names on the list!

Teapot13 · 14/11/2013 13:33

Cautionary tale my DH wouldn't engage about DC2's name kept saying we had loads of time. I had suggestions but he rejected them all. The day before the (long-)scheduled Caesarean he finally started looking at the books. We have different backgrounds so there are a lot of factors in choosing a name. We picked two girls' names and decided to wait and see. (Didn't have a boy's name but turned out not to need one.)

Named DD right after birth -- I was so pleased and told everyone. The next day DH came to the hospital and told me the name doesn't work in his native language/culture and we need to change it. I cried, he relented. This went on till we registered her at 4 weeks. He still regrets it.

I am glad I dug in my heels but, to be honest, although I like DD2's name, if I had known I would have to dig in my heels and he would be unhappy, I would have rather done it over a name on my list!

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