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Am I being stupid to rule out very popular names?

52 replies

ricecakeaddict · 26/10/2013 17:17

The only names my dh has suggested so far are Charlotte, Sophia, Jessica and Emily. He likes Sam for a boy and basically wants something traditional, popular and well-known. I like these names but we have a very common surname so I want to rule out any top 20 (well, maybe top 50!) names to prevent our child having exactly the same name as someone else in their class.
Am I being stupid in restricting our search to less popular names (and dismissing top 50 names we really like) just to avoid them being one of 3 or 4 Sophias, Emilys etc in their class?
We're in Surrey if that helps....

OP posts:
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Mrsindecision · 27/10/2013 10:11

As DalmationDots says, choosing a less popular name gives no guarantees that there won't more one or more in their immediate circle of friends. We chose a name for dd that we loved (and still do I hasten to add) that was well outside the top 500 when she was born. Ironically, despite the fact that it is less "common", there is another in her class and I also know of at least 3 others that are also around the same age! My ds has a really popular name (has been in the top 10 for decades) and there are no others in his class.

I would say choose a name you love rather than getting bogged down with how popular it is as you may be very frustrated to choose a name you like less and still discover another one at school! (P.s fwiw, I think that these boards can really cloud your judgement and it can become an obsession rather than a pleasure when choosing a name for your child!)

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curlew · 27/10/2013 10:18

Bear in mind that even the most popular names aren't actually that common- there are a lot of babies being born!

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TheBookofRuth · 27/10/2013 10:20

The thing is, a lot of it is geographical. According to national statistics, DD's name isn't even the top 100 - but I've recently met another 3 around her age locally. So you might think you've picked a less popular name, only to find several other people have had the same idea!

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sandberry · 27/10/2013 14:48

I think in the modern world with email addresses, it is sensible to avoid common name surname combinations to save your DD having all her emails sent to a different Emily Smith. No one can ever remember that the Emily Smith they know is [email protected]. This is particularly an issue if she works for a large organization like the NHS.

For the same reason it is good to avoid uncommon spellings of traditional names or names which are very unusual as nobody can remember that Emily Smith is actually Emalee Smith or how to spell a very unusual name.

So no I think you are right if you have a common surname to avoid popular names like Charlotte, Sophia etc and modern trends like Isla and Darcy and go for less common but easy to spell names.

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NewbieMcNewbie · 27/10/2013 15:45

That's a good point about it bring geographical - and also, dare I say, social? Look at the Telegraph birth announcements. Very few Islas, Lilys and Avas but lots of Florences, Matildas and Alices. I was asking about a name on here that is somewhere in the high 200s and was surprised to find several MNers had DDs with that name.

Also there is a lot more variety in names now compared to 50 yrs ago so actually fewer children have top 10 names.

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SharpLily · 27/10/2013 16:01

In the end, how you feel about the name is more important than what some poll says about its current popularity. If you love it, it's the right one, no matter what fashion dictates.

I have the same worries - I've ruled a number of names I actually really like just because they've been used on Eastenders, Corrie etc. Bit pissed off now because my dear nan's name, which I'd love to use, has become fashionable and that means I see it being abused by people who can't spell on Facebook and used in conjunction with phrases like 'my lil princess', which gives me the horrors. I'm looking for a name that's not wacky and far out but which I will never hear said by Bianca Jackson or a Hollyoaks character.

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Mrsindecision · 27/10/2013 16:07

I've just looked at the Telegraph birth announcements for 2012 and Isla was actually in joint 6th position along with Charlotte. Lily was also in joint 19th along with Poppy, Flora and Sophia so I'm not sure where you've got your information from Newbie?? Smile

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20wkbaby · 27/10/2013 16:12

There is an element of names being fashionable, but I think they become fashionable because people think they are lovely names. They don't become popular for other reasons, ultimately people name their children names they like and short of the majority of other reasons (initials spelling something embarassing etc) this is the only reason to give a child a particular name.

You have to accept that there is no guarantee that you will not end up choosing an unusual name that ends up being the most popular name of that year.

I find the idea of striving for a unique name more ridiculous than naming a child any of the suggested popular names because you like them.

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emmyloo2 · 28/10/2013 02:50

You are not being stupid. It was one of my criteria - not in the top 50. I was a bit gutted when Rose entered the Top 50 here, this year as it was my favourite name for DD. However, I stayed true to my criteria and discounted it! However, it wasn't really because it was in the Top 50 but because I felt it was in a category of very popular, flower names. So I don't think you are being silly, unless you absolutely adored a name. I just didn't want a name that I felt like I heard at every playground and of which there were 5 in the same day care. I wanted something a little less used. But that's just my opinion. There are some lovely names which are very popular. For example I love Isabelle for a girl. I just couldn't use it because it was far too popular for me. Popular because it is so lovely.

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MrsTerryPratchett · 28/10/2013 03:00

I was one of five in my class. Seriously. We were not this name but like this Jessica, Jessika, Jessie, Jess and Jay. To this day I don't get called my full name because of school.

However, everyone can spell my name and it's easy.

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ZingWantsCake · 28/10/2013 04:09

we know 2 sisters who are Jessica and Charlotte.

a friend Charlotte just had another girl - Emily

two of our nieces our Sophia and Emily

DS2 is Samuel and DS1's best friend is Sam

all lovely people with great names. choose what you like, fashions change, I would not care about that.

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MrsCakesPremonition · 28/10/2013 04:14

Personally, I wouldn't allow my genuine love of a name to be overruled by it's hypothetical popularity.

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Florrieboo · 28/10/2013 05:54

I used to think that it was awful to name a child anything in the top 100, my boys names are outside of the top 100 and I wore that as a badge of pride (they are however well known names) and then when DD came along, I loved names that were much more popular. She has a name that is in the top 50. I don't care, in fact if it was number 1 next year it would not bother me either. DD's name has climbed the charts rapidly, it is "of the moment" but, it is her great grandmothers name, so if she had been born 10 years ago and we had named her that, then it would have been very unusual and outside the top 100. That all said, we have a very unusual surname so whatever names we use our children will always stand out a little due to that.

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Wishfulmakeupping · 28/10/2013 06:13

I avoided top 50 my dd name but dd name is familiar but I still haven't met any babies or adults with that name but I know from some threads on here that dd name is extremely popular down south where there are lots so geography plays a big part. There is a tool on ONS to check popular names by region can't find it on phone so maybe have a scout around on there if you have 5 minutes

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zipzap · 28/10/2013 06:41

I chose a name that was at the bottom of the top 100 names for ds1 - old, biblical, everybody has heard of it but when we told my mother she was horrified; she didn't think you were 'allowed'(!) to use it as a name in this day and age. Fast forward about 4 weeks and she'd been talking to people as new grannies do - and discovered 7 others that had had babies called by ds1's name within those few weeks - mostly grandchildren of friend's, the golf pro's wife, the new baby she was cooing over in the supermarket...

Needless to say it has got a lot more popular in the intervening years; at infant school it was the most popular boy's name in the year. He's now at junior school and despite it being a big school, simlar catchment area to his. Infant school, there's only one other in the school.

I have a friend that gave her child a very unusual name (think there only 3-5 of them registered in England that year). And yet one of them turned up at the same local playgroup so could well end up at the same school...

I guess the motto of this is that the tables and name stats only tell part of the story... You never know how they are going to your local area.

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Fantail · 28/10/2013 08:19

My name has never been in the top 50 and normally hovers around 100. At secondary school I was one of 5 in my year, but that was it for the entire school of 1200 girls. We had all been born in different parts o the country too so even geography isn't a good predictor.

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Bakingtins · 28/10/2013 08:56

My ds1 has a name that is persistently in the top 10. He has never had another child with the same name in any of his toddler groups or classes at school. There is one other child in the school (of 300 kids) with the same name. It does depend on area, our neighbourhood is v socially and racially mixed so if you have a "naice white middle class name" you are in a minority to start with.
Ds2 has a name that is low in the top 100 and yet has already been in several groups with another child of the same name.
Choose a name you both love and don't worry too much about it's ranking.

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MrsOakenshield · 28/10/2013 09:03

I would choose names that you like! Just because a name isn't in the top whatever now doesn't mean there won't be a bunch of them in his/her class once they start school. I wonder what those who are so anti popular names do when they find out their pfb isn't the one-and-only in their class - change their name??

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hawkmcqueen · 28/10/2013 20:49

I don't get the obsession with trying to avoid a name that will date - we are all born of a generation and the average life span in the UK is what, 70+? So what's wrong with being identified as being part of your generation? And then we die and nobody cares :-)
Also, my name is unusual but there were two in my class at school!
Basically there's no winning formula, pick what you love, it's a word you will say a lot so you gotta like saying it and if that happens to be Emily or the like then that's okay.

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RufflingFeathers · 28/10/2013 21:07

Had 4 DD, only the last one has a vaguely popular name. I chose it because I liked it but was distressed that her name peg at nursery included her surname initial ! arrh.
It's not the end of the world, but FWIW, I am much happier with my slightly unusual other 3 DDs' names !

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Theresomethingaboutdairy · 28/10/2013 22:42

Hmmm, I am in Surrey too. DD1(9) is an Emily, it was the number 1 name when she was born, iirc, and she is the only one in her school, DD2 (3) is an Olivia, it too was the number one name when she was born and she is the only one in her nursery (so far!) DS1(8) is a Henry. Thinking this was relatively unusual at the time we were surprised to find a school full of Henry's! DD3 (6 months) is called Isabella, we do know a couple of Isabella's but they are older. As you can see, popularity didn't put us off-go with your instinct-good luck x

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qumquat · 31/10/2013 03:21

More important to pick a name you love I think. All names date but so what? People can tell I'm in my mid thirties by looking at me, having a typical name for a 30 something is no hardship.

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Lubiloo · 31/10/2013 06:49

It's not just about fashionable names falling out of fashion and sounding 'dated' imo. It is about having a name that identifies you. Being the third Sophie or fourth Harry in a class or at work can be confusing! If you also have a popular surname then it becomes even more difficult!

There are SO many lovely names to choose from, why restrict ourselves to the same few ones?

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exoticfruits · 31/10/2013 07:08

I would go for what you like. I find it very funny when parents have gone all out to be original and then they end up with another in the same class! It happens quite a lot and they are the ones really unhappy about it!

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YellowDahlias · 31/10/2013 07:18

My DD had a top 10 name the year of her birth and it's moved up since. We didn't realise it was so popular when we named her. It was a bit of a compromise name as we were stuck.

However she's never been in a nursery with another girl with the same name and she's the only one in her school class.

Her surname is different though so she's very, very unlikely to run across someone with the exact same name.

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