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Original poster

Initials - how important are they?

73 replies

Michellephant · 14/10/2013 09:00

Hello everyone,

I've touched on this before re: initials but I just want to get everyone's opinion in one place.

I plan on giving my girl a middle name that begins with a vowel. This means her initials spell out a word which is pretty inoffensive - R.I.M.
I don't even plan on using her middle name all the time, it is just a name that means something to me so I want to use it. I have also thought about giving her two middle names which would make her R.I.C.M.

I have been very secretive about the name to people who ask me because someone always has an opinion. At work someone mentioned they had a relative with the first name I intend on using though so I told them that it was the name I intend on using. They call their "R", "R J" so they asked about the middle name. When I told them they liked the names together but then when I said the surname beginning with "M" he pulled his face and said "rim".... and clearly didn't like it.

Now I don't know really if it is an issue or not? I can't imagine primary school children finding anything particularly offensive about it and I don't really expect her to be talking that much about her initials anyway at school? Maybe high school might think of "rim job" but I still don't think many would even think of that?!

What do you think? Are these initials a problem?

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BonaDea · 14/10/2013 09:04

My husband was very concerned about this! One of the name combos we had was TDS (which in his mind immediately made him think 'tedious'). It would never have occurred to me to be honest.

We simply added another name!

Obvious ones like,say, ARS or STD should probably be avoided but other than that I don't think many people would notice!!

nicename · 14/10/2013 09:09

Is it offensive? I'm a bit naïve! I would think as long as it doesn't spell out some obvious naughty four letter words you'd be ok!

I'd add another name if you are worried. Remember, she may marry and take on a surname that could turn it into something awful! If she has a few initials, chances are she will just use first and last names usually. I never use my middle initial.

I did know a boy whose initials were VD though. Once he got to secondary school...

Original poster
Michellephant · 14/10/2013 09:13

nicename

This is why I mentioned "rim jobs" because I can imagine some smart arse at high school knowing about them, learning about my daughter's initials and then she will be known as "rim job" for the rest of her school life!

Probably far-fetched though, I bet half of MN don't even know that term.

The only problem I can foresee is marrying someone with a surname beginning with P... R.I.P. isn't too flattering! Though she can always drop the middle initial can't she?!

OP posts:
TheNunsOfGavarone · 14/10/2013 09:25

I'm afraid my - possibly filthy - mind made the unfortunate link. I can only say that if I were you I'd add the second middle name beginning with C. That would rule out the possibility of her ending up as RIP too.

Original poster
Michellephant · 14/10/2013 09:26

I have two second names and I never use the 2nd one so I am wondering whether it will really remedy the situation? Will it not just draw attention to my avoidance of R.I.M.?

I think I am overthinking it!

OP posts:
TheNunsOfGavarone · 14/10/2013 09:38

Yes, I think you're over-thinking it!

I don't think anyone's going to spot, let alone focus on, your avoidance of RIM. I suspect they'd just be interested in whatever the initial C stands for, if they think about it at all.

LondonInHighHeeledBoots · 14/10/2013 09:46

As long as they are not very offensive I think ita fine. I am in love with a name with the initials TWAT, we are obviously not going to use it Sad but RIM probably wouldn't bother me.

Ihatepeas · 14/10/2013 10:36

I think you are overthinking this in a huge way!! children will make up nicknames there is no way to avoid it..

I've never heard of a 'rim job' maybe it's a regional thing or maybe I'm very neive.. Either way if you love the name, use it..

threefeethighandrising · 14/10/2013 11:37

If you're looking for teasing potential, then look up "rimming" if you're not familiar with the term. Or is that what you mean by "rim job"?

FWIW I'd never heard "rim job" but AFAIK "rimming" is fairly well known.

Who knows if the word rimming will still still be used by people by the time she's a teen, but possibly better to go with RICM initials.

Why not go for 4 names anyway? Gives her more choice :) DS (4) has four names and loves telling people his full name.

TheNewson · 14/10/2013 11:40

Like some of the others, my dirty mind made the association straight away..... Kids are a nightmare at school. My maiden name caused no end of amusement for the others, so I'm probs ultra sensitive!

Mind you, my Mom's initials are VD...

PlateSpinningAtAllTimes · 14/10/2013 11:56

Another vote for 2 middle names. Avoids rimming and RIP! I can't imagine anyone would think you put in an extra name for the purpose of avoiding dodgy initials. Both my dc have 2 middle names to link each of them to both sides of the family. Although yesterday DS recited his whole name as being: his name, his middle name 1, his middle name 2, DDs middle name.... Confused

YBR · 14/10/2013 13:04

I have been given email addresses (as a student for example) that are based on initials, with no choice in the matter. That makes it hard to hide - you have to put full names on the application forms.
Kids can be cruel so I suggest you use that extra name to rule out the more obvious jibes.

Thumbwitch · 14/10/2013 13:13

Some will notice, some will not. But you can guarantee that if you assume no one will notice, then they will - and yes, initials that spell out words can be a real issue.

An elderly friend of mine had initials PIP, which then became her nickname. She then married a Mr G and became PIG. Luckily, since all her friends were adults by then, no one said much!

RIM is enough of a worry to do something about it, IMO.

We had a girl at school whose initials were fairly innocuous - SEC - but it was close enough to SEX that some people took the mick anyway!

FreeWee · 14/10/2013 13:15

I'd go for 2 middle names to avoid RIM job comments. Kids aren't stupid and do pick up on stuff like that. A friend has just gone with 2 names which means her son now has the initials FLAW. I'd have just gone for 1 middle name in that instance. You can't worry about who your DD marries. She might not even want to change her name. My friend with the initial T married Mr Watt. She had to ask her IT department for special permission not to be [email protected] Grin

Bilpbip · 14/10/2013 13:32

DS2 is four, not a single person has yet noticed that his initials are JIM

ProudAS · 14/10/2013 13:36

My mum dislikes her middle name even though her initials would be VD without it.

My gran's initials were VD but I don't think it bothered her.

ShadeofViolet · 14/10/2013 13:37

The names I wanted for DD spelled out NOB with our surname

So she is a EOB instead.

ShadeofViolet · 14/10/2013 13:37

That should be NEOB

niffernaffer · 14/10/2013 13:38

I had this dilemma and we added a second middle name. My son was going to be CRP which made me worry about 'crap', especially as the middle name was RAlph. So we added in another and his initials are CRCP which sounds better. I don't think having another name starting with C would draw attention to your initial concerns about RIM. I would be worried about her ever getting married to someone with a P surname though. Would hate to be RIP!

delasi · 14/10/2013 13:40

I know an STD and an LSD - one is a teen, the other an adult - neither have had any trouble as a result of their initials. Tbh, it's only very close family that have noticed it and occasionally mocked them for it.

Suzietwo · 14/10/2013 13:43

most law firms (and im quite sure other areas) refer to each other by their initials...everyone notices funny ones

DanglingChillis · 14/10/2013 13:58

I would add the other middle name, I immediately thought of rimming. DD2 has vowels for middle initials so her name spells out something that can be pronounced. I googled and it isn't a real word, but is a surname so I thought that was OK and we could live with that. At some point in her life someone will pick up on it thou, I work with yet another VD which we all giggle about a bit then someone pointed out that if I didn't use my middle inital (which I always do because I was at school with someone who had the same 'first name last name' initials) then my initials stood for something dodgy. I'd never noticed!

I was at school with someone who had the initials FAB, she was very popular so everyone thought it was, ahem, fab!

Talkinpeace · 14/10/2013 13:59

In many walks of life, your initials will become part of your identity.
So yes, think it through carefully.
My kids both have two middle names and all consonants so little leeway.

ivykaty44 · 14/10/2013 14:03

I would add another name rim is not a nice present to give your daughter Sad sorry

Chewbecca · 14/10/2013 14:09

I would avoid.
It's not just school, ee use initials at work, for e.g. the boss Richard is known as RCP, in emails e.g.
Please invite RCP and IKM to the meeting
And in meeting minutes for comments and actions e.g.
RCP to prepare report by 31OCT