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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

How do I pursuade hubby to go with a name I like more than him?

28 replies

louisaruby · 14/09/2013 13:30

Hi, we're having our first baby on Wednesday and our both so excited!! However the only niggle I have is that my husband is all of a sudden saying he doesn't like the name I have set my heart on and been calling the baby for the past few weeks - Cole!! He is saying he wants to call him Bobby, but we both discounted this around month 6. To be fair to him, he never said he loved Cole, he said it was ok but he wasn't sure, but never offered an alternative and has never said 'no' when I've been referring to the baby as Cole. I just feel like he's left it too late to say he's changing his mind and I am so in love with the name Cole and know my son as Cole that it's making me feel really sad to think he will object when he's born. I don't want to upset my hubby though, so any tips how to get to call our son Cole and still be kind to hubby? Friends have said once he's born if I just say the name straight away to the doctors it will stick, but I'd love any suggestions for other tactics!!!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

hmsvictoria · 14/09/2013 13:36

It's not for you to force your name choice on him if he doesn't like it. He is your DH's son too.

You need to agree on a name, together.

SavoyCabbage · 14/09/2013 13:42

You don't. You choose a name together that you both like. My dh sort f did that to me. Told the doctors a name ad ad it put on dds bracelet thingy. Not maliciously he was just excited. I went along with it as I was so exhausted.

Dd is nearly seven and I'm still not used to her name.

DaddyPigsMistress · 14/09/2013 13:42

He should have as much say in naming the baby as you.

Would you be happy if he tried to manipulate you this way?

PeanutPatty · 14/09/2013 13:42

Imagine if he wanted to call the baby Brutus and he absolutely adored it but you weren't keen, would you say yes just to please your husband?

You both have to like/love it.

EachAndEveryHighway · 14/09/2013 13:53

I disagree with the posters above saying 'He should have as much say in naming the baby as you' etc. Yes you both need to discuss and ideally choose a name together that your both happy with, but .... YOU have carried that baby for 9 months, and you therefore get the final veto / say on the choice of name, if full agreement cannot be reached together.

Rhubarbgarden · 14/09/2013 14:28

I prefer Bobby to Cole.

I'll get my coat.

Frikadellen · 14/09/2013 15:04

You dont get to BE pregnant without a man.. This drives me nuts the " I carried the baby so I have more say"... really gets to me..

You find a name you both like. If your not keen on Bobby and he isnt keen on Cole you go back to the drawing board.

None of my 4 have names Iwould have picked had it been down to me. But they have names my dh and I picked TOGETHER for OUR children. & names that are lovely beautiful and so very much them.

lunar1 · 14/09/2013 15:36

I agree with others, you need to chose together.

mrspaddy · 14/09/2013 15:41

Totally need to choose together. My husband picked the name if we are having a boy. I thought at first I didn't like it... But I love him so much and there is a special reason for the name. Actually grown to love the name.

Also love the name Bobby though I would one for giving the full name on birth cert so there is that choice later on.

You may both go back to the drawing board here.. Good luck wednesday

HollyGoHeavily · 14/09/2013 15:42

Find a name that you both love, there will be one out there!

You could put the pressure on and guilt trip him into letting you have your own way, he`ll probably cave after a while to make his pregnant wife happy but that's a pretty shitty thing to do to him.

Bobby is miles nicer than Cole....

Hassled · 14/09/2013 15:43

I think when he's seen you give birth he'll be so grateful you could call the baby boy Marilyn and he'd be fine.

BikeRunSki · 14/09/2013 15:49

I agree with Frikadelen.

lunar1 · 14/09/2013 15:57

You could suggest you pick this time and he can pick next time, but be careful you might end up with a baby Blanche

TalkativeJim · 14/09/2013 16:02

Is the baby having his surname, or yours??

Because u reckon that should settle it nicely

TalkativeJim · 14/09/2013 16:02

I reckon...

MandyJT · 14/09/2013 16:03

Agree it should be a back to the drawing board thing and start deciding again. If either one of you feels overridden and not part of the decision its not the best start to team parenting! He may change his mind once he is here- and I know it is really hard to change your mind once youve started calling your baby that name already... (maybe not as hard as my friends who had called their baby James for 9 months and then had to switch it to Libby!) but dont try to sneak him into it. Maybe put both of those on a list with 8 others and wait until he arrives to decide for definite anyway - he might just suit something totally different?!

TalkativeJim · 14/09/2013 16:03

Or tell him you'll go with Bobby but will be nicjnanibg him BobblyBubbles.

TalkativeJim · 14/09/2013 16:04

!!!! NICKNAMING

Mummysaysno · 14/09/2013 16:10

Well I see two options....

in that glorious moment when the baby is born and he thinks you're a goddess for having giving birth, and midwife says 'what's baby's name' you say 'Cole' in dreamlike delirious state, and he won't have the heart to disagree.....

Or on a more mediatory note...

you have Cole as the middle name, explain you love the name. Choose a first name you both like together, and go with the knowledge that baby may prefer Cole and call himself Cole in years to come, or DP may grow to like Cole. My kids, regardless of their name, are always referred to as 'the baby' for the first two years anyway!

bundaberg · 14/09/2013 16:10

i think you need to decide together.

we had this issue with ds3... i pushed it and pushed it and eventually dp gave in. and you know what? after we'd been and registered him I felt really guilty.
it must be horrible to have a child whose name you don't like. i wouldn't like it.

4.5 years on i still feel bad about it. don't get me wrong, I still LOVE the name, and it totally suits ds3, but i do wish that we'd chosen one together

2beornot · 14/09/2013 16:13

So pick a name other than bobby or cole. There are lots out there.

fanjodisfunction · 14/09/2013 16:14

You have to pick together, its hard when one of you changes their mind but your a partnership and your are both bringing a life into this world.

I've had to conpromise on our names and pick one we both agree on. It hard but it feels right, middle names are different we have one each that we have chosen, and then pick the first name together.

heidihole · 14/09/2013 16:16

Who's surname is baby having? If his then you pick first name, if yours then he picks first name

Umlauf · 14/09/2013 16:17

I disagree, if he didn't like it, why wouldn't he have said before now, with 4 days to go? He has been listening to you calling the bump that name all this time.

Layl77 · 14/09/2013 16:23

Would you both like Nicholas and Cole be a nn?

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