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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Do you know anyone who has changed their baby's name and how did people react?

32 replies

mrsibley · 13/09/2013 19:59

Daughter is six months old and I have completely changed my mind about her name. It's really upsetting me, but I just can't face people's reactions if I change it. as i feel quite embarassed. however its really got me down and i would really luje to change it. Anyone any experience of this?

OP posts:

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bundaberg · 13/09/2013 20:06

i know someone who did and i t was fine. of course some people expressed surprise etc etc but after a while it was just normal really.
she's your baby and if you're really unhappy with it then change it! good idea to do it now while you can still get the birth certificate changed too

RoadToTuapeka · 13/09/2013 20:12

No experience changing a baby's name, but a relative is considering changing her 4 month old DSs name as she has gone off it.

Imo if you want to change it, then now is the time to do it before the child starts to learn her name. Don't let what other people think get to you and, hard as it might be, try not to feel like you have to explain why - could just say you felt that xx suited her better as you got to know her better.

Does she have a middle name you prefer or could use? If not and you like a different name entirely just go for it. May pay to check for future reference if on 'official' type forms that as if person ever known by another name she will need to put her first registered name (but don't let that put you off).

She's only 6 months old, people will get used to a new name very quickly and better she's got a name you love than one you actually don't like.

tinnedsardines · 13/09/2013 20:15

I know someone who changed to a variation of the original name within a week of birth. That worked out fine. I also know someone who changed their sons name when he was 2 as she was worried people woukd think she had named him after a newly famous celebrity. The original name had already stuck by that point and she changed it back shortly afterwards.

I think you still have time but do it quickly if you decide to go ahead.

LemonPeculiarJones · 13/09/2013 20:15

I have a friend who changed her child's name at about six months old. No one had an issue with it at all.

I really admired her and her partner for being decisive and doing what was right for them.

Babapeela82 · 13/09/2013 20:25

My name was changed when I was 5 weeks old, I don't think it was much of an issue and now is just one of those funny little family stories.

Original poster

mrsibley · 13/09/2013 21:47

Thanks I just feel really embarrassed as it took me 3 weeks to name her in the first place as I talked myself out of the original names I liked and people were not very nice about that, calling her "baby no name" etc and I guess I'm just quite sensitive. Also have another child aged 3 and don't know how to get them to start using a new name, as well as upsetting family etc.

OP posts:

TheGreatCatsby · 13/09/2013 21:54

Your baby your choice. What did you call her and what do you prefer? Xx

WhiteHairReally · 13/09/2013 22:16

My brother started To be known by his middle name when he was about 6 weeks old. I was his 8 year old big sister and kept calling him by his original first name for a bit longer but his 'new' name stuck very easily.

Bugabooed · 13/09/2013 22:29

We changed the name of one our our DC at 4 months. I too was really worried about how people would react, but in reality it was much less stressful than I anticipated - everyone was really supportive of our decision and very quickly got used to the change!

Original poster

mrsibley · 14/09/2013 12:18

I would like to say the names but one is a bit unusual and don't want to identify myself on here, plus I know people on here can be a bit bitchy ( not lovely ppl who have posted so far obviously but I just feel a bit vulnerable about the whole thing). I just worry that her name is too girly and I can't remember now why I chose it.

OP posts:

lljkk · 14/09/2013 12:29

People will get over it, just do it. But do be confident in new choice, no changing minds again.

Tell you something... I called DD something bog standard like Sarah. From 6m-4yo I was convinced I should have called her Faith instead (but I didn't change her name). I got used to Sarah. In y4 she shared a class with a girl called Faith who she came to loathe! DD thinks I was bonkers to ever want to call her Faith.

Iwaswatchingthat · 14/09/2013 21:15

You should call your baby whatever you want - you have a year to change it. People won't care - she is not their baby.

I felt the same about dd2's name - DH chose it and I was never certain. I thought about it constantly and obsessed over changing her name, felt jealous when I met a baby with the name she should have had!! So I can really relate. I kept the name in the end and it is very much her...I still love her 'should have had' name though...

BUT....I was also a little depressed and the intrusive name related thoughts were part of this.....Are you feeling ok OP? Sometimes fixating on something can be a sign you are not too well.

Original poster

mrsibley · 15/09/2013 09:19

I'm not feeling ok at all iwaswatchingthat. I'm really, really mad at myself. This sounds like a fairly straightforward situation but in reality it's causing me a great deal of pain. Must sound so stupid from the outside.

OP posts:

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 15/09/2013 09:24

If you want to then do it. No one else's business. You can't not do things because of other people, I bet you that you wouldn't be given the same thought if it was them.

What's the worse that can happen? Really?

So a few people might be a bit confused. Preferable to having your sons whole life with a name u done like surely ?

Do it :) stuff them :)

Iwaswatchingthat · 15/09/2013 10:00

Not stupid at all. I do know just how you feel.

Personally I did not do it, mainly as DH was so against doing so, but if I had it would have been seven years ago now and just an anecdote - no big deal. Another silly reason I did not change it was that all her cards said her name. I felt therefore that if I changed it then all the happy wishes for the future would be for another baby and not her. Irrational I know, but I was exhausted and not in a good place.

PM me the names if you like. I am sure they are both beautiful.

Original poster

mrsibley · 15/09/2013 11:32

iwaswatchingthat I don't have time right now but would you mind if I pmed you the whole sorry story of this. I'm pretty down and it might help to tell someone who could is possibly understand.

OP posts:

Bugabooed · 15/09/2013 11:39

It is not stupid at all. I turned myself inside out before I made the decision, it completely dominated my every single waking hour, I could think of nothing else. I read every single name website I could find and became completely obsessed with names in general. I really can completely empathise with your feelings - I felt dreadful and very alone.

How does your husband feel about it all? Have you discussed it with anyone in real life?

Bugabooed · 15/09/2013 11:54

Sorry, cross posted with your last message as got v distracted by my DC while I was composing it. Feel free to pm me too if you want to.

Original poster

mrsibley · 15/09/2013 12:02

bugabooed I could hug you. You have just described how I feel. My dh just changes the subject . We had weeks after she was born of my angst about her name, which included me completely overanalysing and talking myself out of the two names I really liked. I did not know I was having a girl and for a short while I got swept up in the whole pink girly thing (that I actually loathe) and as the names I liked are unisex, one more commonly used as a boys name, I convinced myself she should have a more feminine name. So now she does, and I'm starting to hate it. But because of what I did I am now so down on myself I don't trust myself to change it as I clearly dont seem to be very good at making decisions.

OP posts:

PinkGlove · 15/09/2013 12:50

Oh goodness. I could have wrote this myself. My DS is 3 months and I'm still not sure about his name. He was called his middle name for 3 weeks until we switched it around (before we registered him), and I'm too frightened to change it again. DH loves his name and won't really discuss it.

The whole thing just eats me up, I'm even having dreams about alternative names but really don't know what I would change it to, I fel like I just don't know what I like. I'm just trying my best to get used to it.

Big hugs.

ZolaBuddleia · 15/09/2013 13:11

I changed DD's name at about 4 months too. It was awful, I was totally obsessed with names too, felt mortified any time anyone asked me her name etc.

Can you try out the name your prefer on strangers ie if you're waiting in a queue and someone asks you her name, say the one you like and see how it makes you feel.

Nobody made a fuss about the change except for my MIL, but she's a fusser in general. I felt INSTANTLY better about it, and haven't looked back. Yes, I'm embarrassed it happened, but I had PND and I blame that!

I was lucky in that my DP just wanted whatever would make me happy, he liked both names equally. However, even with that, I dreaded talking to him about it.

I'd say if you can't let go of THE name after all this time then you've picked the wrong one, and you need to just go for it and change it.

fuzzpig · 15/09/2013 13:52

I would do it ASAP I think.

moominsville · 15/09/2013 14:17

Mrsibly, I've been through this too and most of my anxiety over the name was caused by pnd. Three years on and I'm feeling much better about the name. I don't have time this afternoon but I will pm you later with my story which i hope will help you.

Bugabooed · 15/09/2013 15:24

I too had been surprised by the baby's gender. My husband initially dismissed my concerns about the name when I first mentioned it, but then after a while realised just how much it was eating me up. I don't think he really understood my issues with the name, but said that if I came up with some alternatives, he would consider them. I went around in circles with the other names that we'd had on our shortlist, but none seemed quite right either. I became obsessed with baby names and trawled many naming websites. In the end, I went back to the drawing board completely and suggested a name which we hadn't considered previously. This was the one we chose.

It was a very stressful time for me, and I felt so sad about the whole thing. However, once we made the decision to change it, I felt a weight had been lifted.

On a positive note, and as I said in one of my previous posts, I was very pleasantly surprised by everyone's supportive response to the name change, it just wasn't the big deal to others that I thought it would be.

Iwaswatchingthat · 15/09/2013 18:14

mrsibley of course you can. X

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