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Original poster

I want DCs to have my surname too

11 replies

MonstersDontCry · 12/08/2013 09:23

Me and DP are going to register DS birth today. We also have a DD (nearly 2) Who has DPs surname.

Me and DP are very happy together Buti can honestly say the biggest mistake of my life was giving DD his name. I always said that my DC would have my name if I wasn't married. I still have no idea why I did it.

We had DS 2 weeks ago and I suggested that we double barrel it and then change DDs name to a double barrelled too. DP totally rejected this and wouldn't even consider it because it's 'not fair'. He then suggested that we just get married instead so then the DC will have the same name as me. But I suspect that this will just be one of those things that he never gets round to.

I know I could go ahead and just give DS the double barrelled anyway, but I wouldn't want him to have a different name to DD.

I'm really upset about this.

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curlew · 12/08/2013 09:24

What is his objection to double barrelling?

Original poster
MonstersDontCry · 12/08/2013 09:41

I've asked him 100 times, but he just doesn't have an answer. He just wants them to have his name full stop.

OP posts:
flowery · 12/08/2013 09:48

On what basis does he think he gets the final say?

MimiSunshine · 12/08/2013 11:12

You don?t need to ask his permission, just say calmly, that it is important to you and so in the balance of fairness you are going to register both names. If he can give you one solid reason why not then you will listen but to just say it?s what he wants is not good enough. And then leave it at that. Do not engage with any whinging.
When you are at the Register ask for the details on how to update your daughters certificate (don?t say ?change? as that be a bit inflammatory) and then proceed. He if objects just say that he has given no good reason why you shouldn?t and he should be more understanding (who is to say you wouldn?t want to double barrel even if you get married?)

Original poster
MonstersDontCry · 12/08/2013 12:08

Well after nearly two years of trying to get him to agree to change DDs name, DP shocked me by saying that the DC could have a double barrelled name, on the way to the registry office! So now I need to change DDs.

I really wish it was the norm for children to have the mothers name. It would make things so less complicated if the parents aren't married.

OP posts:
flowery · 12/08/2013 12:32

Well I'm glad he agreed, much fairer.

But just because it isn't the norm for children to take the mother's name doesn't mean you can't do so you know...

curlew · 12/08/2013 13:04

"I really wish it was the norm for children to have the mothers name. It would make things so less complicated if the parents aren't married."

You do know that you can keep your name even if you are married, don't you?

thisisyesterday · 12/08/2013 13:08

wtf??? he said it's "not fair"??? in what way is it not fair??

ilovepowerhoop · 12/08/2013 13:23

www.ukdp.co.uk/name-change-birth-certificate-england-and-wales/ - looks like you would need to change your dd's name by deed poll unless you got married as you could then change the surname afterwards.

motherinferior · 12/08/2013 13:25

Agree with curlew. Why on earth would you change your name to someone else's?

Original poster
MonstersDontCry · 12/08/2013 20:11

I would double barrel my name if we got married. If we got married anyway. I've never really felt that urge to get married.

I knew that I wouldn't be able to change DDs birth certificate and that I'd would have to do it by deed poll.

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