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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Too late to change baby's name?

44 replies

ladybirdees · 08/08/2013 22:10

She's 9 weeks old now and we've been avoiding using her proper name and calling her everything but. I can't work out whether we've made the wrong choice or if negative comments about the name have influenced me. My Mum has openly said she would rather we had named her our second choice. Either way, I wonder if we should change it but perhaps every name would seem odd as we took 6 weeks to decide in the first place. Mad, I know!

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Vix81 · 08/08/2013 22:16

I think you can as your baby is less than a year old and you can change it on the birth certificate. I know you can if you get your child baptised within the 1st year. I was tempted to hyphenate my DD's first name when she was christened, but with a hyphenated surname too might have been a bit much

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 08/08/2013 22:18

It's not too late at all, 9 weeks is nothing at all out of a life. What have you been calling her instead? Does anything feel more "her"?

Original poster

ladybirdees · 08/08/2013 22:40

Well, she's Minnie at the moment which is what we called her when she was a bump. But I know that's not a 'proper' name. The only other name I keep thinking about is Isadora but we did decided not to go with that...albeit at the last minute on the way to the registry office!

OP posts:

Bugabooed · 08/08/2013 22:46

It's definitely not too late. I changed the first name of one of my DC completely at 4 months, a very big decision at the time. It's an incredibly simple process and can be done at any time up to 12 months from the original registration of the birth. I really do sympathise OP, and certainly don't think it's mad at all. The overwhelming sense of unhappiness I felt regarding our name choice dominated my thoughts for a month or so before I finally decided to change it. How does your DH feel about changing it?

LazyMonkeyButler · 08/08/2013 22:49

What is the official name? It may well be that the negative comments have put you off, but it could be a lovely name. You must have liked it to choose it.

Isadora is nice.

DeeLighted · 08/08/2013 22:52

You can change it very easily at this early stage.

It's a big decision to name your baby and not everyone gets it right first time, especially with all those hormones crashing and the lack of sleep!

Isadora is a gorgeous name BTW.

formicadinosaur · 08/08/2013 23:05

I would try the second name on the baby. Use it for a week then decide. It's not too late to change

Original poster

ladybirdees · 08/08/2013 23:10

We called her Tabitha and believe me at one point I really did love this name but doubt is creeping in. My Mum is fixated on the cat association and perhaps her honesty is picking up concerns I put to the back of my mind. She says things to my LO like 'well that's your name now no matter what people think'. It makes me feel terrible like i've named her something people will think is hideous and she's so adorable I don't want to saddle her with negativity. I just don't want to still be feeling like this in 6 months time. I think DH will be slightly embarrassed if we change it but I know he just wants me to feel better about it all. I definitely think hormones are involved here, I wish I felt more rational about it all.

OP posts:

Vix81 · 08/08/2013 23:25

Tabitha is a lovely name! I thought of the young girl from Bewitched when I read that. My dd is Jessica, but she also gets called Missy Moo Moo and at 14 months, she answers to either
But you have to be happy with your decision and I would do what formicadinosaur said and try out Isadora for a week and see if you are happy with that name before making anything official.

Cathycat · 08/08/2013 23:27

I love Tabitha. I know one too and it really suits her. Change it if you like but it is a beautiful name.

Bugabooed · 08/08/2013 23:53

Well, fwiw, I think Tabitha is lovely (and I personally prefer it to Isadora), but it's certainly one which could be be described as a "marmite" name. It really doesn't matter what a load of strangers say to you on this thread about whether they like the name or not, only you can decide if can see your dd growing up with it. I am sure your mother will get used to the name in due course and stop making remarks, but if it took you 6 weeks to name her and you're still not convinced about it, then maybe it's really not the right one.

WafflyVersatile · 08/08/2013 23:58

tabby is a great nickname too.

I think you need to tell your mum to stop being a twat.

fanjodisfunction · 09/08/2013 07:04

I think your hormones are not helping aswell as your mother, she should back off, she got to name you. She should accept your choice! Tell her to stop saying things like that to Tabitha, and start using her name, its a great name,

Incapinka · 09/08/2013 07:15

Personally I prefer tabitha to isadora... I know a tabby who is gorgeous

TheRealFellatio · 09/08/2013 07:29

Oh for goodness sake I was expecting to be something either outrageous, hideous or dead common!

Tabitha is a very lovely name - classic, pretty, not over-used, and Tabby would be a lovely NN - what on earth is the matter with you?!

Isaodora is lovely too, but she will get called Izzie and thereare thousands of those.

Minnie is really cute as a nickname although I agree as a proper name it could be problematic in case she turned out to be very large.

I think you are allowing your mother's naughty manipulative comments to knock your confidence over this.

If you like Minnie and you like Tabitha (in spite of what your mother thinks) then keep doing as you are doing. Loads of people are never actually known by there official name. If she feels Minnie is too cutesy and not sophisticated enough as she gets older she can choose to revert to Tabitha.

On the other hand, if you took 6 weeks to name her and she has only been Tabitha for 3 weeks and you always call her Minnie anyway then I'm sure it won't be that big a deal if you change it now.

But even if you do, I bet you still just all her Minnie. Once a NN sticks it's really hard to shift.

Razzdazz · 09/08/2013 07:30

What fan said, it is slightly out of order of your mother to make these comments IMO. I also think the name Tabitha is beautiful, people make associations with names all of the time. My current choice, Flora, had lots of 'margarine' responses lol

Sunnysummer · 09/08/2013 11:28

Tabitha is so cool, I also think much nicer than Isadora.

It took us 3 weeks to name DS and at 4 months I have only just started calling him by his name, instead of the nickname we had for the bump Sometimes it just takes a bit of time for the new name to sink in, but the baby grows into it.

Could you give it until 12 weeks, when things settle down a bit, and then reassess? As with the posters above, you still have plenty of time to change later if you want.

RonBurgundysPanpipe · 09/08/2013 11:36

Was Isadora not the mother from Bewitched??

Prefer Tabitha.

superdupermama · 09/08/2013 12:44

I really empathise, was in a very similar position. Even when I wanted to change name at 2 weeks, was worried that it was too late.

Looking back now, I think that it's absolutely not late to change, the baby is too young and it's not something as outrageous as we think at the time.

However, I would say that it's not late to change ONLY IF you are 100% sure that it is what you want to do and 100% sure you prefer the other name. I didn't change the name as I was not 100% in love with any other name either, so left it. Hope that helps X

Standautocorrected · 09/08/2013 12:58

What do you want to call her?
It's a great time to change her name if you have doubts. I wish i had changed one of my dc's name when i first had doubts. I have pangs of regret x years later.

soontobeslendergirl · 09/08/2013 13:14

I think part of your original question was about whether it always feels odd using your childs name for a while. And I would say, certainly in my case anyway, it does. I think it is the same for a lot of people as that's why people use funny little nick names when they are small. They kind of grow into their names I think.

It's hard to look at a tiny baby and call them a big grown up name iyswim. but they will be a grown up longer than they are a baby.

On the other hand, if you are not happy then you are best to decide that now before you feel it's established.

Try imagining her a little older and that you are calling out for her, what feels more right, Tabby, Tabitha, Issy, Isadora????

soontobeslendergirl · 09/08/2013 13:19

It doesn't really matter what we all think, but personally I like Isadora - very elegant and cool. Tabitha is lovely too though but it makes me think more of a cute, fun loving person. we are a more of the first type of family than the 2nd. we are all fairly reserved so Isadora "fits" better. i have no idea what your family is like :o

rowtunda · 09/08/2013 13:44

Tell your mother in no uncertain terms to shut the f**k up next time she says anything. Your mum has already had her chance to name her children so she should just bloody well drop it. The rule is that even if you don't like the name you don't tell the parents!!!

FWIW I prefer Isadora but to be fair what the hell does it matter, you would prob hate the name of my DS (as prob my mum does too) but I don't care because he is my DS and I named him. What is important is that you and DH like the name.

Tell your mum loudly (and rudely if need be) - back off.

soontobeslendergirl · 09/08/2013 13:55

I know my mum doesn't particularly like my younger son's name but she loves him and that's all that matters. I don't really like the name she picked for me but we all have our own taste :)

MonstrousPippin · 09/08/2013 14:09

Tabitha is lovely. My best friend at primary school was called that and I remember being jealous of her awesome name.

I have another friend whose baby is Tabitha but she's shortened it to Tilly day to day which I personally think is bloody awful. Stick with Tabitha and you'll be fine!

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