What's the big nickname issue?

[whyno]

I hear lots of chat about not taking nicknames into consideration because they will just end up called something else.

Now I know that's possible at school. I was called all sorts! But I don't mind much what her friends call her! Surely if we call her something at home from the off then that will generally be her name?

I want to give her a longer name so she has options but prefer the slightly less common nn.

What do you all think?!

Xxx

I completely agree with you. my mum fully intended to call me my nn from birth and I have been known as that ever since (obvious diminutive of full name) I have my longer name on bc which I use for job applications/wedding invitations/formal occasions, or if I fancy introducing myself as something different!
I'm glad I have the full name option and am a firm believer in giving a child choice and not limiting them to a nicknamey full name.

If you use the nn all the time then that will become her name, but if you plan to sometimes use the full name then there is every chance she will come to be known by a more common shortening. It's fairly likely she will take on the name her friends call her, particularly as a teenager, so don't dismiss that.

I think you have to be wary. As others have said, if you always use the full name people will choose the nn. If you choose another nn and use it full time, it is more likely to stick. But I know a teenage Charlie whose parents are gutted she isn't their approved Lottie anymore. That is what everyone but they call her.

I deliberately chose names with lots of nickname opportunities, my children should have the choice of their name. I really don't understand why some parents restrict that.

I would give plenty of choice. You have no control over the nickname, it will be what she chooses- e.g you can call her Lottie from birth but she might decide she is Charlie.

I wanted to call DD a nickname from birth, she is 17 months now and it just hasn't stuck. She is known by her full name. I still want to use the nn but, when I say it it's just not her.

Thanks all. Luckily I like all derivatives, just prefer one as its less common.

Exotic, that's what I keep hearing on here but never hear of really happening much in RL. IME little children rarely think to change their names and by the time they are teenagers they find it too late because its too ingrained.

If my 2 y o DS has other ideas for her from the start then we're doomed though!

Not really- I was known by one name until I was 18 and then I changed it. I always call DS1 by his full name but he had one nn by everyone until he was about 11 and then had another- he had another friend whose parents always intended him to be Jamie but at 8 yrs he insisted on James and has been ever since. I know a Catherine who calls herself Cat and her mother hates it but is fighting a losing battle.
I could go on with examples. You may well have a nn that sticks for ever- you should just be aware that you have no control after about 5yrs and the DC themselves might change it.

I spent my school years correcting people to either say my full name or use my less obvious preferred nn, by which i was known at home. But by the time i got to uni i was fed up correcting and realised it didn't really matter if i got called the other nn, so a lot of the friends i made from then on call me by the previously shunned nn. Doesnt and didn't bother me tho.

I agree with you OP. Both my DDs have names that have potential for lots of different nick names. DD1 Isabel (Izzy/Belle/Ibbie etc) and DD2 is Charlotte (Charlie/Lottie). DD1 is known as her full name, even at school it is never shortened, although I imagine that might change. DD2 is generally called Lottie, she might be known as Charlotte or even Charlie when she gets to school, I don't mind, but she'll always be my little Lottie . She'll probably object to being Lottie when she's 20 as it's a bit of a cutsie name. At the moment, if someone calls her Charlotte, she says, "I not Charlotte, I Lottie." :o She's 2.

I actually know quite a few people who picked a nn as teenagers OP. I don't think it's too ingrained at all.

As long as you like the common nn I think it's fine. As I said, the Charlie I know her parents hate it. I do think it's a bit daft to choose a name where you hate the most common nn. Fine to prefer another though.

Hmmm lots of conflicting experiences.

I once had a male friend who wouldn't let us use his school nickname in front of his mother as he thought it was rude to her as she'd chosen his real name. Sweet boy. And the nn disappeared again as he got older.

On the other hand my brother was named Philip and is known, randomly, as Dave! Although only at school so again I don't count it.

I guess as long as you don't care too much either way its not worth worrying about the what ifs and just hope it goes as planned.

This is why I don't get choosing a nickname before the child is born (apart from natural diminutives e.g Ben/Benjamin). As you can call them what you like at home, as soon as they make friends, go to school etc it all changes and you have no control over what their nickname will be.

The thing is, nicknames are often completely unrelated to the actual name (I love the 'Philip known as Dave' example above!) So there is really no predicting what others might call your DC, no matter what you call them. So you might as well just call them what you like - both in terms of full name and nickname - and not worry about what others might call them.

Totally agree minipie. I do think though that it's daft to use a name if you hate one of the common nn's as there is a good chance your child will choose to use it at some point. I agree with you that you might name your child Constance and find their nn turns out to be Abbi or something though. You never can tell!

We deliberately gave DS2 a name that couldn't be shortened- all his friends know him by another name!