How do I persuade DH re:baby name??

[BoyMeetsWorld]

Hi all,

Some may have seen my various other threads trying to find a name I could really 'bond' with.

We're having a little DS2 and although I am over the moon about him, I am a little gutted too as I don't want more children and would have really loved a girl. Part of the problem being we had a great girls name picked out but are really not agreeing on boys.

DH is French and his family are quite old fashioned - happy we're having a boy to continue the 'family name' & it's tradition in their family to use the paternal grandfathers name as the baby's name.

I put my foot down on that long ago before even TTC. But the problem is I now desperately want to use the name Russell, after my dad who I loved so much & who died shortly after the birth of DS1. DH won't even entertain the idea....he likes really flowery exotic names like Dartagnon, Thibault, Raphael, Cassius etc.

My issue is that having this baby hadn't been all easy for me. Left to my own wishes I wouldn't have chosen to have another baby at all, but DH took myself and my son on and is amazing to both of us - having children of his own was always a top priority for him so I always knew I would have to. Now baby is a boy (which is ok) but again exactly what DH, not me, wanted and all his family are treating it like some sort of Family Heritage Asset.

I just really want a name that MEANS something. & that doesn't sound ridiculous on a white, probably redhead, 1/2 English child. I think I'd feel embarrassed if a name like Raphael - which I do actually like - was called out in a drs surgery, or I was shouting it in the park.

How do I make DH see how much using my dads name would mean to me, and why I can't use one of his choices? He just keeps saying 'we've got a long time to discuss' (20 weeks) but I feel I can't bond with bump without a name...

Lol yes Biscuit - at the moment I'm thinking Wiggle would be the perfect name for bump as its what I've currently bonded with!!!!

No assumptions being made and sorry if you got that impression. What I was trying to say was that roots are very important to all members of the family. If you or he had already upped roots to foreign parts then I would say that it would be reasonable to consider the person's need for input in such an important matter.

I speak as the person who has never, in my adult life, lived in the same country as my family and have never lived in my home country since marrying. My DH understands the daily compromises I make and as such compromised with the Anglo Saxon spelling of our DD2's name.

I truly am sorry about your DF and hope that you and your DH come to agreement in naming Bump.

DH and I had a deal .... If baby was a girl,I got to choose (but had agreed to honour memory of his GM by having her name as one of the mns). If a boy, he got to choose (agreeing that my father/brother's middle name would be baby's first mn). We had a boy, and DH told me his names whilst they were sewing me up! Luckily I loved them and it all added to the element of surprise. I didn't need to know the names to bond with my bump. DH is Italian and DS's first name is easy to pronounce in both languages. MN 1 is very English, and mn 2 is Italian (named after his favourite footballer!).

Raphael BTW is lovely. What about Frederic Russell?

I do think compromise is the way forward, boys names do seam to be a think for DH's. We had to compromise for the boys name, but have a middle name each to honour relatives.

Girls name was different, I had a name picked from when I was 13, DH didn't like it, but when I was 34 weeks I mentioned the name again with middle names that I thought had meaning to us and family and he agreed. He said it all sounded so pretty.

Naming can be tricky, just perservere, looking at names, him looking at names, you will hopefully get there. You never know one of you may change your minds.

Also I do think us pg ladies get in a bit of a tizz over have a final list or name too early and men don't understand.

Life is a compromise it would be very boring if it wasn't.