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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Avoiding a nickname...

28 replies

Smerlin · 08/07/2013 19:16

Think we have decided on Alexandra Rose for our baby girl's name but am keen to avoid her being nicknamed 'Alex' by family.

We are happy to call her by her full name, also really like Alexa as a shortening but for me Alex just sounds too boyish and don't like the way people pronounce it 'Aliks'

Do you think we can avoid people shortening it to Alex? I don't mind pretty much any other shortening- Alexa, Zandra, Sasha etc and I like the fact it gives her a lot of freedom to choose when she is older (even if she wants to choose Alex!) but just don't want PIL/friends etc assuming they can call her Alex!

Is it inevitable??

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RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 08/07/2013 19:21

Nope, you can't avoid it. We named dd2 with my proviso that her nn would be X and not Y. It was Y from as soon as she learned her own name, and she has insisted on Y ever since. I am the only person who ever calls her X (and she hates it!).

Blanketsandpillows · 08/07/2013 20:35

I think it's very difficult to avoid...but might it be impossible.

language · 08/07/2013 20:43

We have an Alexandra and same here - we dislike the surname Alex. Generally, introduce her as Alexandra or Alexa and people call her so. If someone calls her "Alex", I just day "we normallu call her Alexa" and people follow this.

Anjou · 08/07/2013 20:47

It's very easy/natural to shorten Alexandra to Alex. It's 4 syllables and the stress is on AL-ex for both names. However, I think it's much less likely that Alexa would be shortened to Alex, as the stress is A-LEX-a. IYSWIM? My advise would be to use the nickname you like from the off, that way the nn 'Alex' doesn't get a look in.

Good luck!

Zynnia · 08/07/2013 21:09

I think you can avoid it, and control it up to a point, especially if you use Alexa quite frequently. So "alexa" becomes the name and it's not begging to be shortened like Alexandra is it?

morethanpotatoprints · 08/07/2013 21:41

I think with family and friends its easier to say what you prefer than with acquaintances and their friends at school.
My dds friends at her last school were mad= madison and zog, og, = Zoe. Their parents weren't impressed.
I also know an Emily whose parents wanted her to be milly, but hadn't used this officially as surname also starts with an M, nobody has ever called her it

Original poster

Smerlin · 08/07/2013 21:46

I don't really mind if she expresses a preference when she is old enough- I think that's quite sweet really. And obviously I appreciate she might get given some random nn not even linked to her real name by school friends.

I think the introducing her as Alexa is the way forward really - I like your tactic of "we normally call her..." language.

OP posts:

siluria · 08/07/2013 21:46

I really like the name Eleanor but wouldn't choose it because I don't like Ellie (that's based on a personal association I can't shake - no offence to all the gorgeous Ellies out there as I know in my logical brain that it is a perfectly lovely name).

DD1 is called Isobel and we knew she'd get Izzie and/or Belle but both are fine by us. She's only 2 and we call her Isobel, and most family have followed suit despite my mum being absolutely desperate to have a nickname for her. We'd never stop her calling her Izzie but it hasn't stuck. Isobel currently calls herself 'Ibble' or 'Ibell' (occasionally Isobel) and my mum calls her that now, but I doubt that will last into adulthood. Anyway, we chose the name feeling comfortable that the main nicknames for it are things we could happily live with and I'm pleased we did. If I hated Izzie I'd get annoyed all the time.

I agree with the person who suggested going with Alexa in the first place - I think the nn you'd be likely to get then would be Lexie, if you don't mind that, but you'd be less likely to get an abbreviation at all. And Alexa is very pretty.

steppemum · 08/07/2013 21:46

you call her the nn you want and be firm and stick to it.

I have a friend called Melanie, and her mum didn't want it shortened and she just corrected anyone who shortened it, and she has always been Melanie. So it is possible

Bowlersarm · 08/07/2013 21:48

Unfortunately I don't think you'll be able to avoid it. Because it forms the first part of her name it would be a natural shortening. If it was one of the other shortenings such as lexi i think you'd have more chance of avoiding it, as it takes more effort to think of it.

You may be lucky but I'm not sure you should take the risk if you hate it.

Peachyjustpeachy · 08/07/2013 21:50

What about Al?

tallulah · 08/07/2013 22:54

We didn't want our DD's 3 syllable name to be shortened. There is an "obvious" shortening and people told us "she'll be called nn at school". She wasn't. She was always introduced with her whole name. Playgroup and school and her friends and younger siblings all managed her full name.

The only person who didn't was a friend who started at the school in Y3 who for some reason didn't notice that nobody else shortened the name. That was weird.

You either decide on a nn you do like, and use that from the beginning, or instantly correct anyone who shortens it.

MultipleMama · 09/07/2013 07:49

Have you thought about using the Russian short form; Sasha? Or Sashenka which is the affectionate/short form.

NooMyx · 09/07/2013 08:10

You could always try to just keep correcting everyone, but I'd imagine that can get boring quite quick. I know someone who does this, and the child is always introduced (and introduces herself) in one breath "Alexandra-not-Alex" (theirs is a different name but for the effect). Some kids do the mickey and keep calling her "Alexandra-not-Alex", or at least did in the past, but that could just be kids finding anything to be a bit mean about of course.

I actually hate this whole nickname stuff. So many names that I like, but won't even consider, because I hate the obvious nicknames. Grrr.

ZolaBuddleia · 09/07/2013 09:40

To be on the safe side I wouldn't use Alexandra at all, and have Alexa on the BC, much less likely to be shortened, and IMO a nicer name.

Haylebop12 · 09/07/2013 09:48

I think you can avoid it.

The common nn for my dd is Millie. I don't like Mille and she never gets called it because no one has ever heard dh or I call her Millie. Some people ask when they meet her of she's a Millie but we politely say no.

bugsybill · 09/07/2013 10:43

I agree to go with alexa on the bc. Alexandra does get shortened to Alex in my experience and it may be difficult to about this.

MeerkatMerkin · 09/07/2013 11:03

You can put Alexandra on the birth certificate and just introduce her as Alexa (no mention of Alexandra). That way, people can find out later that her full name is Alexandra but they already have her in mind as an Alexa, so might be less likely to use other shortened forms of her full name.

It is a beautiful name, I don't think Alex is so bad either though. :)

Rhubarbgarden · 09/07/2013 13:04

I don't think it's inevitable. I've known plenty of people who go by full, long names. They just correct anyone shortening it, and then they know. After a first flurry of corrections at a new school/workplace it's a done deal. Dd who is 3 has friends called Samuel, Benjamin and Jessica. Their parents use the full versions and so does everyone else. I've never heard anyone try and call them Sam, Ben or Jess or have to be corrected; surely the normal thing is to follow the parents' lead? I would never presume to shorten someone's name unless they requested it - that would be rude.

HorryIsUpduffed · 09/07/2013 19:12

I don't think it is impossible or unreasonable to avoid a particular nickname among family if you deliberately use an alternative (eg use Eliza if you hate Lizzy but want to use Elizabeth). It is more tricky if you always use the full name because people will affectionately shorten it, and if you haven't shown which you prefer, they'll use what they prefer.

On the other hand, you have no control on what your child's peers use, or indeed how your child introduces him-/herself later on.

We binned Christopher (Kit) because as much as I adore Kit, I loathe and detest Chris and couldn't bear for a child of mine to be called that

Original poster

Smerlin · 09/07/2013 19:48

Yikes so many conflicting opinions!

Definitely has to be Alexandra on the bc as want that to be her full name- will just have to always introduce her as Alexa I guess!

I love Sasha too but DH not keen...

The thing is we are struggling so much for names- the only other name we both like is Ciara but think that people will just think of Keira Knightly when they hear it and we loathe her as an actress!

OP posts:

Turniptwirl · 10/07/2013 15:47

There is one person at work who calls me by a different nn to anyone else I've ever known because she knows someone else with the same ( unusual but not unheard of) name who used that nn

So the child who refused to call the PP dd by her full name may have had a similar association

AuntieStella · 10/07/2013 16:06

If you use one nn, you reduce the chances of another being used.

Whereas if you use only the full form, it's almost inviting a free-for-all (especially with a 4-syllable name, as it will get shortened).

Once the DC is out without you (school/nursery) the nn might change, and you can't do much about it. But if the DC likes the version the family uses (and many do) then they'll help make sure it is their day to day name.

BettyBi0 · 10/07/2013 19:01

I'm agree with AuntieStella - pick a nn from it yourself and stick to it. Anything over 3 syllables always gets shortened by people so you might as well have it shortened to something you like. Lexa is lovely

I've never really understood why Sasha is a nn for Alexandra.

HorryIsUpduffed · 10/07/2013 20:00

Betty it's Russian. Take the most prominent syllable or two, and add -sha to create nickname. Hence Sasha from AlekSAnder/-ra, and also Natasha from NATAlya, etc.

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