A name I would really want but....

[sprite25]

If we were to have a boy, I would like its middle name to be the name of my uncle who died last year in a very sad way and who was a lovely man. The trouble is he had the same name as DH brother who we have nothing to do with because he has a history of using DH and causing problems for him, he has also been nasty to me when he had only met me once. Anyway DH is reluctant to have this as a middle name as he doesnt want his brother thinking its after him, which I can understand but at the same time it would only be as the middle name and would mean alot to me and my family in memory of my uncle. Do I just accept DH would never allow it or try and talk him round?

Is there a variant you could use and say "it is after Uncle x"?

That is a difficult one.

Does your uncle have a middle or surname you could use?

Do you have any contact with dh brother at all? If none at all I would possibly use but I don't think I would if there was occasional contact (Christmas/reunions/funerals etc).

Also is there a way of possibly not telling dh family the middle name? Do the in laws know each other? If there is no contact at all between the inlaws maybe you could give the baby 2 middle names and only tell your family both the names. Very difficult to know if this is appropriate as some family have christenings/baby name ceromonies and some don't at all (which would make this last suggestion easier).

Goodluck

Uncle have a usable middle or surname?

If you have nothing to do with him, he won't even know, surely?

Neither of us like the middle name my uncle had and DH brother would find out the name through DH parents, they tell him everything about us and us about him in the hope that it will get us in contact again and they would probably come to the same conclusion that it was after DH brother and not my uncle even if we told them so (once they think they know something then their right and no one can tell them other wise). I know it sounds like a silly thing but cant help feel that either way one of us will be disappointed, me if we dont use it and him if we do.

I wouldn't use it if the situation you described ^ happened :(

Is there something about your uncles life you could link to a name you could use? Did he have a particular passion for a hobby, profession, place?

Is there a variant of the name or a different language version?

Could you maybe even use something like Tio (Spanish for uncle) or one if these www.babynamespedia.com/search/m/uncle

I wouldn't care if the inlaws & BIL, despite being told otherwise, chose to think it was after the BIL - frankly the opinion of fuckwitted others seldom crosses my radar...

However if everytime your DH has to say it/write it, it would bring back bad memories/upset him, then I wouldn't do it. I appreciate why you want to do it, but you have to put more 'weight' in the future than the past.