Taking dads name?

[laura20]

My partner is called Robert and since we found out 3 weeks ago we are having a boy he is set on calling it Robert on the birth certificate but we will call him Bobby. It's family tradition, but I'm not too fussed on the name and wondering whether to just put up with it as I don't want to upset him or his family. Also I don't have any other names in mind. Any advise?

I would start by looking at baby baby names on your own. Draw up a list of your favourite ones then start a discussion with your partner, throw in the word 'compromise' and suggest having Robert as a middle name. Is the baby taking your partner's last name? If so, this gives you a huge advantage.

"baby names" not "baby baby names"

It would be my nightmare having someone say 'but seven generations of men in my family have been called xxxxx'.

Unless I really loved the name I'd be the cow who broke the age old tradition!

Yours and his child. Yours and his choice, not previous generations of his family.

Agree with squoosh.

His family in the past had their pick of baby names. Just via they all picked Robert isn't your problem. Your baby your choice (and your dp too) but has to be an agreed decision.

Fwiw I wouldn't name baby after his dad anyway. It's egotistical and weird. What if you later break up? You then have a son called Robert still which would irritate me too much if it was exs name :)

heidihole has a good point. My cousin named her only son the same name as his dad. That was six years ago but she has now taken to calling him another name completely, having changed it by deed poll. Father is a convicted sex offender and she regretted giving the boy his name. That's a very extreme example I know! I personally think a child is entitled to their own name. Even a variation of a parent's name seems better to me than the exact same name. It is also important that this is the name you want, being the mother

Use it as a middle name. I find it weird when names go on for generations. It's your child too!

He doesn't get to decide, you both have a say. I'd go with using it as a middle name!

I hate this. So his father is Robert? His grandfather was Robert? So dull.

I don't mean the name Robert is dull, I mean it's so dull to use the same name over and over when there are so many to choose from. Why not use Robert as a middle name.

Are you planning to give the baby dad's surname? If so then tell him it's grossly unfair for him to dictate first name too, do you get no input at all?

I would tell him he can call the baby Robert provided little Bobby takes your surname.

No way!!

A baby's name has to be decided together! One parent can't just play the 'family tradition' card without discussion. Don't be bulldozed if you don't like it.

He has to be open minded enough to consider you choices and you have to do the same. If either if you really dislikes a name it gets crossed off straight away, but try no to be too picky. Think about what you do like about a certain name and go from there.

Sorry about the typos ^^ but I was really worried about you!

Being bulldozed into using Robert, if you don't really like it, is a recipe for baby naming regret.

The middle name is the perfect way to honour family traditions.

Thanks for the advise, my partner is understanding so ill give it a go.

You should never put up with anything to avoid "upsetting him and his family"

What a sad sentence.

It used to be common to use the family first name on the birth certificate/at the christening, but call the child something else - either the middle name or something unrelated.

In your position I would actually push for a variant (e.g. Robin) rather than Robert, but if I caved and used Robert as either first or middle name, I would not use any version of it day-to-day. That is weird.

My DHs family have this tradition. I got away with it for DS but I know we would have the argument again next time. I was suggesting the Irish version of the name (Irish family)-is there anything like that you could do?

There is a naming tradition on both sides of our family - the same name for generations for dh and alternating names on my side. It was actually the same name, so we could have done it without upsetting anyone, but my dh goes by the only derivative that we like so we broke it. My gran was more upset that we didn't use my maiden name as middle name (it is also a first name) and nobody else said a thing.

I wouldn't do it. I work in financial services and having the same name as a family member (it's usually father/son) can cause real problems when applying for credit - bank accounts, credit cards, mortgages etc. It's far too easy for data to become corrupted and the father's information to become mixed with the son's. Obviously that's not something you'd have to worry about for 18 years but it's worth thinking about. If you wanted to do it as a middle name, that shouldn't cause any problems.

I had a friend who when his partner was pregnant they were "allowed" to call the baby William, James or Benjamin. His Dad just said "So, is it going to be William, James or Benjamin then?" when they announced it was a boy.

I was completely but they just went with it. Please call your baby something you both love. Your DH is being unreasonable to expect you to just agree, tell him you already have one Robert in your life.

friend's dh is the seventh John (surname) - but has always used his middle name which everyone seems to accept. Might work?

Personally not keen on Bobby so wouldn't go for that.