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Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Why is there such negativity regarding the middle names Mae/May, Rose & Grace?

89 replies

Sasparillo · 15/01/2013 20:39

After reading a few different posts on MN, there seems to be a lot of slating of the above stated middle names. I honestly don't see why people hate them so much! Back in 'my day' it was Jane & Louise that were popular girls middle names, mine being Jane. It has never ever bothered me in the slightest that I share the same middle name with half the female population in my age group, I don't see why it would bother anyone. It's only a middle name. I think that Mae, Rose and Grace are perfectly acceptable and quite frankly, very pretty names for a first or middle name, so what's the issue? I'd understand if people were naming their daughters Gertrude or Fanny! Lol x

OP posts:
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Lebkuchenlover · 16/01/2013 11:40

But Jane and Louise still 'go' with many names. But as a result of having been overused in the 1970s people have become tired of them, like with any fashion trend. The same will likely happen with the current overused names imo.

BanghamTheDirtyScone · 16/01/2013 11:59

I think it's just because, well, they are very popular. Almost every female child I know or hear of seems to have one of them as a middle name.

They are great names. It's just kind of predictable iyswim...which is a proper shame as they're so beautiful in their own right.

And they go with everything!

evamummy · 16/01/2013 12:41

Every other girl I know has Rose or May as her middle name, honestly!

Seems like many people simply choose a name 'that sounds nice' and is 'trendy' rather than taking the time to find a suitable middle name - a name that might reflect the child's cultural heritage, honours a family member or simply helps to make the child's overall name a little more interesting/unique.

I too have a standard 70s middle name. I feel it is quite dull, boring and a little pointless imo. I'd much rather have been given something more interesting or meaningful.

Cecil10 · 16/01/2013 12:51

My Dd1 was named after two maiden great aunts who are huge characters in our family folklore. One of them was called May, hence that's her middle name. I don't know how people can say that such names serve no purpose. It seems from other posts that lots of people have used these names because they are/ were the names of now elderly/ deceased relatives. What a wonderful way to give them a sense of who they are and where they come from. I hope that my dd will be very proud of her name and its association when she is older.

TessOfTheBaublevilles · 16/01/2013 12:51

They're nice names, but they show lack of imagination, especially when paired with a really popular first name.

Middle names are a great opportunity to honour a family member, but instead, so many parents just lump one of these filler middle names in. It's boring.

If people are going to use a really popular first name, they're better avoiding a filler, because there will be countless with that "combo" out there.

I don't find a filler paired a rarer first name isn't so bad. Examples: Sophie Grace makes me yawn, whereas Mariana Grace makes me think 'wow - I like that'.

atthewelles · 16/01/2013 12:51

I find it hard to get excited about middle names and am amazed at how much thought some people on here put into them. When I was a child your middle name was usually after a Saint (first daughters nearly always had Mary as their second name) and now it's quite often after a parent or grandparent.
They're never used so I don't think how nice they sound, how populare they are etc is terribly important.

TessOfTheBaublevilles · 16/01/2013 12:52

Oh and I meant to say, of course some people who use them will have relatives with those names, that's different.

Many people use them as fillers though.

3birthdaybunnies · 16/01/2013 13:05

We used one of them as a 'filler' for dd2; as she has an unusual, but not outlandish, first name, plus our surname is complicated and often mis spelt. We wanted a short name which she wouldn't need to explain/spell, and which she could resort to if she didn't like her first name. Our other two have more popular first names, and more unusual middle names. We're happy with it, sorry if it offends your sensitve ears.

Themobstersknife · 16/01/2013 13:15

Because some people are horrible.
And they also make assumptions about others, and judge them accordingly.
In my family, May is a name that has been used for several generations as a middle name. But apparently, my using it makes me unoriginal. How boring of me to give my daughter the same middle name as my late mother.
I have committed an even worse sin. I have named my other daughter after her late grandmother on my husband's side which apparently means she can never make anything of herself as it is 'cutesy', 'girly' name.
For what its worth, both my girls are remarkable, original, feisty and strong, and we haven't had to name them Mildred or Persephone to prove this.

Bue · 16/01/2013 13:49

They're just placeholders, that's why.

I think the middle spot should be used for a family name, or maybe a name you love but wouldn't consider for a first name. Something that actually has a point to it.

evamummy · 16/01/2013 13:58

Yes, for some people these names may well have some meaning and/or are family names - in that case the child will grow up with a lovely association.

But it seems that a large majority of parents simply choose such names without too much consideration, simply because they sound 'nice' and everyone else is using them. And then such names are simply meaningless fillers.

evamummy · 16/01/2013 14:01

"we haven't had to name them Mildred or Persephone to prove this. "

Why are you implying that people who love the name Mildred or Persephone are trying to 'prove' anything. I know a lovely Sephie (Persephone) whose parents simply love the name. Also, both names seem to fulfill their purpose of identification better than, say Ella May or Maisy Grace. More importantly, thankfully we all have different tastes and shouldn't we all be encouraging MORE name diversity - makes life much more interesting!

BanghamTheDirtyScone · 16/01/2013 14:01

In a way it's a shame for those who want to use these names for genuine, meaningful reasons, that everyone else and their dog has used them for no particular reason but that they sound pretty. I mean nothing wrong with that as such but it kind of takes over the name a bit.

NorthernLurker · 16/01/2013 14:08

I have two dds with these as middle names. Both were named well over a decade ago so if it's now 'common and dull' Hmm it's not my fault! In my case both dds have long names for first names and so I wanted something shortish. Fwiw I have

Miranda Rose
&
Roasalind Grace

and if you really want to call that 'unimaginative' then I think you've got very odd standards indeed Grin

Themobstersknife · 16/01/2013 14:16

Only that names like Mildred and Persephone seem to be swooned over on this forum, and for some of the reasons cited on here, i.e. because people want to be original or different. Didn't say anything wrong with them. We didn't want to choose them because we wanted to use family names. And it seems will be judged for doing so by people like the ones on this thread. You can't really pull me up on something and then say other names serve their purpose of identification 'better'. Yes, maybe according to you.
Am stepping away from this thread so lot can continue to bitch about how wonderful and diverse you all are.

Themobstersknife · 16/01/2013 14:18

I really am going... But 'placeholders'? Really?
You sound delightful.

shoobidoo · 16/01/2013 14:37

I've not read all the responses but to answer the OP, my opinion is that these middle names are simply used too often these days. There are so many names to choose from, it seems a shame to give our kids the same few names.....

Alisvolatpropiis · 16/01/2013 14:49

They're just over used now. As Louise was.

Sasparillo · 16/01/2013 15:03

I see the room is divided on this, but it's only a name? Right? I don't think it should define you as a person, your character, sense of humour and personality should. If I met someone with a truely outlandish name (Persephone Gertrude, as an example! Tee hee) who was a horrible person, or a Ellie-Mae or Harry who lit up the room and was a Lovely person, to me the would be a lot more memorable, there name wouldn't come into it for me, but maybe I'm just one of those boring, unimaginative people seeing as my dd has one of these middle names (again, a family name on my mums side) and I don't actually know many with the same middle name, as when people introduce their children, they don't tend to disclose middle names, do they?

OP posts:
Alisvolatpropiis · 16/01/2013 15:10

I think they're nice names,particularly Grace.

As an aside I've noticed that most of these names are hard to pair with another name if they are in first name spot. Maybe that is another reason they are so often used as middles?

shoobidoo · 16/01/2013 15:25

Sasparillo, nobody is saying anything about a person's character, whether horrible or lovely.

What we are doing is answering your op question as to why people find the names May/Grace/Rose overused.

thegreylady · 16/01/2013 18:08

I know a baby Trudy which may well be short for Gertrude or maybe Ermintrude Grin.
I dont think Grace or Rose are overused as mn though May/Mae does seem to be popular.When I was young everyone was *** Ann[e]

schplappo · 16/01/2013 18:13

I have a very unusual middle name - I've never met anyone else unfortunate enough to be lumbered with it - and have spent my life trying to avoid telling people what it is. I say go for something that sounds nice and isn't weird. So what if lots of others have it too.

Greensleeves · 16/01/2013 18:20

I used to like May and Rose as middle names, before I realised that virtually every little girl has them - really, of all the white British children I know (and I am a supply teacher, so I know lots) the number of -May and -Rose names is just unbelievable. Today I taught Ellie-Mae, Kieri-Rose, Gracie-Mae, Lillie-May and Freya-Rose, and that's just the hyphenated ones

it's almost like we are acquiring a mannerism where we have to say "May" or "Rose" after every girl's name to show that it's a girl... like "Daniel San"

TerrariaMum · 16/01/2013 18:22

I'm with schplappo. I have an unpronounceable unusual first name and a middle name that is technically a male one (surname). As a result of hating my name growing up and wishing desperately that I were called Jane (or Rose or Louise or Grace or anything like that), DD's middle name is Jane. Her first name isn't unpronounceable or too unusual.

I wanted her to have the choice I didn't get. She can have her first name or a simple middle name instead of being lumbered for life with a name she hates. Caveat: I don't hate my name anymore, I just dislike it.

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