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Has anyone changed their baby's name as late as six months old?

56 replies

Girlzone · 07/12/2012 12:14

I think I could do with some advice. For some reason I just can't get used to saying my dd3's name. She has just turned six months old, and I just don't feel comfortable somehow with the name we've given her. She is our third girl and I spent the whole pregnancy agonising over which name to choose. My worst fear has come true, i think i got the name wrong. Having mixed with lots of little girls in nursery and school through my older children in I was keen to find a name that wasn't really popular. So that ruled out quite a few lovely names just because i didn't want her to be one of three in the class!
Anyway, about 3 weeks before she was born dh and I both started getting keen on a name that was quite far down on our shortlist, and it was the one we decided on for sure two days after she was born. But as the months have gone on, I feel like I'm getting less keen, rather than more keen, and a bit like it just isn't "special" enough. It's a name we both liked, but clearly neither of us were passionate about it or it wouldn't have taken us so long to settle on it. I am now thinking constantly about a different name that I liked in the past, and now I really feel it should have been her name. For me, it rolls out of my mouth with ease, as I have embarrassingly been trying it out on her in private for the last day or so. Plus it goes better with her siblings' names, and I think has a lot more impact with our surname.
I am crazy I realise. I actually think dd3 is too young to truly know her name and wouldn't notice the name change. But I doubt I could persuade dh anyway as he will say its too late and that she has a name already. And imagine the embarrassment of telling family and friends. I suppose her dsis's of 4 and 7 would also struggle to make the change. So I can't do anything about it can I? I have to find a way to forget the new name and make myself fall in love with the existing one. (There definitely won't be any future children by the way as dh has now had the snip).
Her name is Tessa (sometimes Tess when I'm speaking), and the new name I'm imagining is Gabriella.

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arghhhmiddleage · 08/12/2012 03:45

Tessa/Tess is lovely. One of my favourites -manages to be both classic and cool. I really wouldn't dream of changing it Smile

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TinyDancingHoofer · 08/12/2012 03:46

I prefer Tessa, my friend is a Tessa and her dad calls her Bess. There was a Gabriella at my school who was and maybe still, Flabby Gabby. She was really skinny and it was all started by her brother.

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Girlzone · 08/12/2012 13:45

Thanks everyone for your replies and support. Posting has really helped me, and my obsessing!

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toomuchchristmaspudding · 08/12/2012 13:47

Oh, I love the name Tessa. We couldn't use it as it is too much like our surname. I def prefer Tessa to Garbriella (sorry - don't want to offend any mothers of Gabriella's).

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beckie90 · 08/12/2012 20:13

Tessa is beautiful, really really nice I much prefer it to gabriella. But its what you feel is the best. But just wanted to reassure you I think her name is lovely :) xxx

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Lovethesea · 08/12/2012 21:17

Tessa is lovely. Tess sounds warm and strong.

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PorkusEnormous · 08/12/2012 21:25

I do not like the name Gabriella at all. I find it rather ugly/poncy, whereas Tess/Tessa is pretty, warm and 'earthy' and has only positive connotations for me personally. FWIW

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sparklechops · 09/12/2012 11:42

You are not alone, OP. I am still worrying about DD's name and she is nine months. It was worse three months ago....I obsessed over it at that point and would get very upset.

Our situation was a little different in that we announced one name and then registered another, longer one with the birth name kept as a nickname.

A bit of a confusing mess!

The thing that weighed heavy on me was guilt at the thought of having got her name 'wrong' and somehow letting her down.

Then I read something on here from someone who said it took their DD a couple of years to grow into her name. That made me realise I should just give it time. I am gradually feeling better about the whole thing.

If you have a tendency to worry about things, like me, perhaps you would have fretted about it whatever named you had chosen.

For what it is worth, I think both your Dd's possible names are beautiful and neither is a bad choice.

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Girlzone · 09/12/2012 17:00

Thank you again for all your feedback. sparklechops it was interesting to read about your experience of this dilemma. I think I you hit the nail on the head with your comment about being a worrier about things in general. I think that is what I'm like, and indecisive, and it's likely I'd have spent a lot of time questioning dd's name decision after the event, whatever we'd picked! I think also it does take time for a name to grow on a child in my experience. It has been helpful to find out that many other people have gone through these intense feelings of doubt, which can take over a bit.
For the first time, I am now hearing so many lovely comments about dd's name, that it's really changed my perspective on her name and I'm a lot more confident about her and her identity! I'm so glad I decided to post on here as I think I'm going to be able to put this issue to bed, get on with things and start introducing her to people with confidence.

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FriggFRIGG · 09/12/2012 17:05

I'm glad you're feeling better about your DD's name,it really is gorgeous. Smile

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sparklechops · 09/12/2012 18:42

Glad you feel better. Tessa is a gorgeous name.

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GalaxyDisaster · 09/12/2012 18:47

Tessa is lovely. Tess as a nn is even better, but then I like my names 'plain' (you know, Isabel not Isabella, Sophie not Sophia). Glad you are feeling better about it Smile

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sparklechops · 09/12/2012 18:49

Didn't read the comment from frigg before posting an almost identical one....oops. Blush

It is gorgeous though.

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AngelsWithSilverWings · 09/12/2012 18:55

Oh Tess is a gorgeous name! I don't know any little girls called that but Gabriella is really really popular where I live ( Essex).

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DreamyDreaminOfAWhiteChristmas · 09/12/2012 19:06

Glad you're feeling better about your Dd's name Girlzone. They're both beautiful names.

I'm really pleased to read all the responses on this thread too, as I really can't get used to Ds2's name (he's 3 months old).

When I was pregnant I had a name I loved, and Dh had a name he loved. We couldn't agree, so when he was born we settled on a totally different name that we hadn't considered before. It's a lovely name, traditional, and I like it, but it just doesn't seem special enough to be his name. I call him 'The baby' most of the time, and often cry because I feel like we've got his name totally wrong.

It's reassured me to read that we can change his name up to 1 year old, and many of you have said it's ok to do it. I thought I was stuck with a boring name that doesn't suit him. I've talked to Dh about this a few times, but I'm going to talk to him again now. I'm bothered about people thinking I'm crazy, and the fact that his Christening cards all say his current name, as does his Christmas present sack, but I suppose everyone will get used to it, the cards will be a reminder, and I can get him a new sack next year.

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FriggFRIGG · 09/12/2012 22:34

Yes Dreamy that's a nice way to think of the cards etc...
weirdly,I obsessed about things like that too,but tbh,the cards are shoved at the back of a drawer somewhere...all the 'name' things we had when she was a baby could easily be replaced.
All the things I worried about,have no bearing on her/our life now.

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confuddledDOTcom · 09/12/2012 23:28

They are both pretty names, don't worry about shortenings, if you don't like a particular one just correct people. My dad and his brothers all had common shortened names but managed to go through their lives not being shortened because they corrected people and now my daughter insists her name is not shortened.

If you really want to change the name you still have 6 months to do it so go for 2 or 3 months with just calling her by the new name and see how you feel. If you decide you do like it then change it. I wouldn't worry about her being used to it either, when my eldest was a baby I called her "Beautiful" so often she wouldn't respond to her name! I had to make an effort to use it and it didn't seem to phase her.

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emmyloo2 · 13/12/2012 03:23

Not helpful but I adore the name Tessa and the nickname Tess. Don't change it! It's gorgeous.

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mumsywoo78 · 14/12/2012 10:35

girlzone u sound exactly like me iv named my boy noah even tho i do love the name peoples reactions made me doubt my decision.for the past week iv felt happy again with the name but 2day im having a bad day about his name &still wondering if iv gave him the right name although theres nothing else i really like. i totally want to be 100% content with the name noah as weve got to know him as noah&i have a 4yr old who loves the name. but for some reason im always looking for peoples reactions to the name.its driving me mad why am i like this do u think this is a symptom of pnd my doc says it is & im being treated 4 it.my boy is nearly 12weeks old.

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LoveYouForeverMyBaby · 14/12/2012 13:47

I prefer Gabriella but i think Tessa is a lovely name. I personally dont think it's horrendously late to chnage her name, but what would put me off is having to explain this to youer other children as they may struggle.

Havent read through the entire thread so apologises if thuis has been mentioned, but have you considered chnaging your dd3s name to something like Tess-Gabriella so she keeps her name but you can call her gabriella if you want?

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Mumums123 · 17/07/2019 04:31

Was wondering what happened with baby’s name, @Girlzone ... Did you come to love Tess or did you change to Gabriella?

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Astronica · 17/07/2019 05:00

They are both really beautiful names. And it's absolutely fine to change it if you want to. Those feelings of uncertainty are not unusual. I think you are doing the right thing by exploring the option, and trying out the other name. It's not crazy, and I wouldn't rush the process. Tessa and Gabriella are certainly lovely though! And so are Tess and Gaby.

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WonderOfYou · 17/07/2019 10:29

@Mumums123 hi, in answer to your question, I did stick with Tessa / Tess, and yes I do love it now! As people will say to you when choosing a baby name, she has really “become” her name, and I do feel it suits her and is “her”. As time has passed, I never think now about what other people think of the name.
One of the reasons we originally chose it, was because it wasn’t a popular or fashionable choice, in the hope she wouldn’t be one of three in the class, and from that point of view it has been a great choice - we’ve never met another child called Tessa in all the years since!
I accept quite happily now that some people might not like the name, and others will. But unlike my older two daughters who have names that weren’t high up on the name charts when they were born, but have since become incredibly popular top ten names, I actually prefer that my youngest has a name that just identifies her wherever we go. Having said all that, I remember how long and deeply I agonised over the name choice, so I totally understand anyone going through the same doubts right now.
For me, (an over-thinker, indecisive, worrier about what people think and generally very interested in names!) feeling satisfied with my final choice was really hard, but it’s all good nowSmile

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FartnissEverbeans · 18/07/2019 20:06

I absolutely love Tess/Tessa. If I could choose a name for myself it would probably be near the top of my list - it’s cool and unpretentious. I imagine a Tessa would be a rock climber or have pink hair and crowd surf at pink concerts Grin

Gabriella is a beautiful name but it’s very girly and flowery - there’s nothing wrong with that but I actually think it would be harder to wear than Tessa. And Gabby is a bit blah.

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FartnissEverbeans · 18/07/2019 20:07

*punk concerts, not pink concerts!! Autocorrect!

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