DH wants Wolfgang - is it really that bad?

[persephoneplum]

I can't come to terms with the only boy name that DH likes - Wolfgang. I just can't. I do think he would constantly get grilled about his name when an adult - "Why did your parents call you that?" and there won't be a great, solid reason other than "Dad liked it".

Our existing sons are Felix and Theodore and I feel like Wolfgang sticks out like a sore thumb but what I want to know is, do you agree with me or with my DH?

Just to clarify, I do like it - in a vacuum - but it's just not right for my unborn son. We live in Australia - I'm aware it's common in Germany on older men.

Is Wolfgang as outlandish as I think it is?

If he can only come up with one name he likes - and it's that name - then he doesn't get to have any imput. Why does he get to turn down 6 names you suggested and insist on one you don't like!

Wolf is cute. But your DH is flat out lying if he claims he only likes one name. No one only likes one name (well, three, if you count your older DC). He is trying to force you to agree by playing hardball.

Both partners should like a name to use it. Personally, I think Wolfgang, nn Wolf is quite cute. But no, I wouldn't use it myself.

My cousins have Wolf as part of their surname and it sounds pretty cool in that context. I think that Wolfgang could work as a middle name but not as a first, Wolfie is an awful nickname IMO very twee. Wolf as a nn seems very try hard/celebish.

If your dh doesn't like your top six and you don't like his number one then I think you both need to go back to the drawing board. I'm sure you'll come up with somethign you both like (eventually!)

If I met a child called Wolfgang I would assume they'd been named for Mozart, either directly, or via Linda Snell's llama in The Archers.

I used to work for a Wolfgang, I think it's a great name.

Maybe it is an 'old man's name' but isn't that what's trendy now, reviving older names? Aren't there loads of Florences running around for this reason?

But bottom line, if you really don't like it, you shouldn't have to use it. I thought veto power was pretty standard.

This reminds me of the discussion I am having with my DH about Otto. In my heart of hearts I can't imagine calling my child Otto.

I would put Wolfgang in the same bucket. I like it but I just couldn't do it.

Wolfgang is NOT one of those kind of old names which have a revival, neither in German speaking countries nor anywhere, period

worldcitizen - disagree with that! Certainly a revival where I live - I know three children Wolfie/Wolfgang!

oh and I've heard of a Wolfram (toddler) in my area.

Where is that??? And what sorts of people are they??? You know, one name certainly doesn't fit in all kinds of social groups maybe that's where we differ

Wolfram or Wolfgang same thing

"Germans/Austrians who would nowadays name their sons Felix and Theodor would possibly not chose Wolfgang, totally different sort of name.
I have no doubts the 23-year old is lovely, but come on that's a name typical for 50-70 year olds (and not necessarily a nice one either more like a Nigel in the UK, I believe), and certainly not one of those names you find in different generations such as Felix, Alexander, Philip, Constantin, Michael, etc."

It's certainly not been revived here in Berlin. Felix and Theodor, by all means, but Wolfgang is reserved for arrogant 60 year olds with a beer belly and Mercedes. Wolfgang is extremely narrow-minded, convinced he's right about everything, did not go to university but ended up as a low-ranking civil servant.

My kids have been through any number of school classes/nurseries over the last 12 years and we've never encountered a kid called Wolfgang. Felix and Theo are absolutely standard in middle-class circles, though.

"This reminds me of the discussion I am having with my DH about Otto. In my heart of hearts I can't imagine calling my child Otto."

Yup, Wolfgang and Otto are equally awful. Otto has some pretty unpleasant connotations in Germany. Otto Walkes, Otto Normalverbraucher.

Apologies to anyone called Otto or Wolfgang - but surely it's better to know the associations that 100 million German-speakers will have with your name.

Yep Nullius spot on with descriptions of typical Wofgang personality attitudes...there are always exception to the rule, that should go without a saying.
And yy to Otto the van driver or Otto the lorry driver or Otto the Pub owner whose pub carries the same name and it is one of those shabby run-down corner pubs....

Sorry,but name your child what you like, but if the name is weird and odd in your country and then some folks bring up the argument well in country such and such where this name comes from it's normal blablabla....well at least make sure how and in which circles in that particular country sits with folks there before branding your own child disclaimer:

I really like Wulfstan, and your son would have the option of calling himself Stan if he wanted to sound more conventional. I suggested it to DH but it failed his park test ('Will I sound like a poncey Southern twat shouting this name across the park?')

I want to personally thank you NulliusInBlurba - your insight into the name in Germany is exactly my gut feeling about it, without actually knowing it to be so.

While my husband is German and Dutch back two and three generations, I don't feel a name like Wolfgang with its totally unknown (to us) cultural connotations is suitable for an Aussie kid hanging out in Sydney. Yes I do care what 100 million German-speakers think - very good point.

I will be sure to show your post to my DH - I truly think he just has no idea and thinks it's cool and masculine and edgy in a hipster kind of way. I just want a nice solid, fairly traditional name that no-one will blink an eye at. My long-ago 20-year-old self is shuddering about that last sentence :)

Now I'm thinking about it, my DH has relatives in Germany who we email regularly. His dad is over there now staying with them... so it's not even like we're completely cut off from current German attitudes about the name. I reckon they'd be aghast, and no it shouldn't matter, but it does.

I quite like it as a name, but I'm glad Nullius has put the German POV!

I wonder if I could hijack slightly and ask for her thoughts on Gustav - though it is maybe more Swedish than German.

I don't know our German relatives to ask them!

Not keen, for me it doesn't have a nice sound/look in English, though Wolf(ie) is a cute nickname.

What about Arne, OP?

Wulfram? (there is a St Wulfram)

persephone cool and masculine it ain't

There are lovely German and Dutch names which would fit well into an English-speaking country. Thanks to internet it's all easily found out, OR maybe start a thread where you would like others to help you find a cool and masculine name for an Aussie kid with German/Dutch heritage...

Not really keen on Arne, but thank you :)

worldcitizen - I have such a great shortlist, honed over many years and I think DH can just choose from that or find one I will agree to. The man hasn't read a single name book, searched one single website. As far as I'm concerned, he can pick any of the six on my fabulous shortlist :) Plus I really don't like hyper-masculine names :)

I pretty much want Reuben or Gus or Kit. My ultimate would be Fabian but DH hates it.

Persephone that's a great attitude to have
Fabian is considered a very nice name here in Germany, can find it in my generation and younger. Pretty much goes in all social circles, but know it very much to be a middle class name. I love that name, as personally love those cosmopolitan names, when there is not much fuss about spelling and goes well in various countries and languages etc.

And to St. Wulfram, well there is also a St. Thomas, St. Paul, St. Peter, and St. Whatnotelse....

There is also a Barry in Wales, why not name your son Barry as it is one of those names which might have a comeback, yeah right...

still valid

Oh now you've made me love Fabian even more! It's just so handsome and soft and nice in both European accents and Australian. I would die to hear a French person say it.

I did take my son to a shoe store where there was a little Fabian trying on shoes. I was so thrilled! Unfortunately, all my DH can think of is Fabio:

www.fabioinc.com/

Why oh why? I despair!

persophene you sound lovely, and I sure you'll do the right thing