Made a mistake - what would you do? Time running out...

[Haarlemmer]

I've always felt I've/we've made a mistake in naming our DS. I posted about this when he was quite tiny but for various reasons, have done nothing about it, other than find myself regularly in tears to my husband, telling him I just don't feel that DS feels/looks like his name.

So we're coming up to the one year crunch point (and his christening this weekend), and I'd like your advice.

DH happy to add a name but doesn't want to change DS' first name. I feel I must respect that. So what order?

Current name is Dominic Robert V...
I've always wanted to call him Alexander
Which order do the initials look better and what flows better? Is it too much of a mouth full?

People who have added/changed names: did it help?

Ha! DS3 is 14m and a Dominic. DS2 is nearly 4 and an Alexander! We have only ever called him Xander though. And DS1 is now 6 and still referred to by his full, 4 syllable name. I have every intention of Dominic also remaining Dominic as long as possible :)

Good for you Captain and Mayanna that's my point exactly. Live with it, the poor boy!

I don't think it's too late to change his name - if you both agree, but if you don't both agree you are asking a lot of your DH. You must try to shut off the tears about this when you talk to him because it is just not fair to turn on the waterworks. If you are regularly in tears over this, you should consider some counselling - because it is not normal after a year to be so upset about a name that you yourself chose.

I agree that Alexander sounds a lot like Alisdair, if that's why your DH has vetoed it he's unlikely to come round. Dominic is such a lovely name - it's on our list if we have a boy (though I suspect DH is going to push for another name on the list that we equally love). I know a really cute little strawberry blonde Dominic so I don't think there are any rules about the name and the child's colouring!

Add Alexander as the first middle name - to give it the prominence it deserves. Then try to use the christening as an opportunity to acknowledge and accept the situation as it stands (it is really not so bad in the grand scheme of things!) and draw a line in the sand on the issue.

We had doubts about DD1s name...but that was the name we chose and we stuck with it. Now we have gotten over the doubts....she is 8. I think it's a common thing...but people get over it.

What's wrong with the nick name Nick? or Nicky?

My grandfather, two good friends, ex MIL and several work colleagues all go by their middle names, and that is just off the top of my head and the ones that I know of. I actually don't think it is that uncommon. Just go with whatever you and DH are happy with. DS will adapt happily at such a young age.

We did this, actually. For various reasons we changed DS's name before he was a year old. We started calling him the new name as a nickname, just to get him used to it, then we quietly dropped the original name. He has half a dozen interchangeable nicknames as it is, so he barely registered one new one. Now we can't imagine him as anything else as he really suits his new name. It's possible to amend names on a birth certificate for up to a year after initial registration, so it's obviously not unheard of for parents to change their minds.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

Yes of course you should change it if you want to.

FWIW in Wales it's traditional, and used to be fairly common be called by your middle name by family and friends. (Your first name was used for official stuff).

But BOTH parents have to be in agreement imo!

Alexander is a lovely name. Go for it!