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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Using names of living relatives

20 replies

NotChristmasCarol · 12/09/2012 20:28

I've got another thread running where I'm looking for Xmas/New Year inspired names. This one is about whether it is ok to use my living maternal grandmother's first name as a middle name for DD. One of my RL friends just commented that she thought that was not quite right as it feels like an "in memoriam" gesture- this hadn't occurred to me. I love my DGM very much and would like to pay tribute to her role in my life. Plus I think Joy makes a lovely middle name. Am I getting this tastelessly, maybe even offensively, wrong??

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TudorJess · 12/09/2012 20:31

I think it's a lovely thing to do, not "in memoriam" at all. I think she'd be delighted to have a great-granddaughter with her name as a middle name. It's a compliment, not in the slightest bit "wrong".

Yorky · 12/09/2012 20:38

My DS2 has my still living Dad's name as his middle name.
DD1 has the same middle name as my Mum and I.

I agree that Joy is a lovely (middle) name, even without the family connotations, and I think your Gran would be delighted

Original poster

NotChristmasCarol · 12/09/2012 20:42

Oh phew! Thank you! It will be her first great grand daughter and I'd been confident that she'd really like the gesture until this comment tonight. Thanks for the reassurance

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waitingimpatiently · 12/09/2012 20:43

If that's what she thinks then each to their own but I think most people would just be honoured. Many of my family have been named after someone else (alive)

IawnCont · 12/09/2012 20:45

It's not weird at all. One of my DS is named after my uncle (still living). It was such a brilliant feeling when I phoned him after the birth and said, "Hello! I've just had a son! Do you mind if we name him after you?" He thought I was taking the piss :o

Mum8 · 12/09/2012 20:52

Not at all, in Greece it is even tradition and often grandparents feel upset if their name is not chosen. If you like the name and it is lovely, it will make your relatives happy too :)

Ephiny · 12/09/2012 20:55

I think it's a nice idea, and yes a lovely middle name.

Original poster

NotChristmasCarol · 12/09/2012 21:01

Ah this is all good. Thank you. My paternal grandmother died some years ago- but her name is "Winsome" which I have to admit I would struggle a bit to use for DD, as guilty as that makes me feel.

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Badgerina · 12/09/2012 21:01

It's perfectly ok to do that

iwantedanonymity · 12/09/2012 21:04

No odd at all, my DD2 has her aunt's (my sister) name as her middle name

Teamthrills · 13/09/2012 21:52

Dd2 has my sisters name as her middle name - she was delighted!

wigglesrock · 13/09/2012 22:21

All my dds have middle names of living relatives, as do me and my siblings I really lucked out with dd1 as both my Mum and MIL have the same firts name so it was two birds with one stone

kefybaby · 13/09/2012 22:29

Not wrong at all. DD1 is named after her two grandmothers, one of which is alive and kicking and delighted for the name choice.

moggle · 13/09/2012 22:34

Not weird at all - unless you're jewish in which case I believe it's a bit of a no-no?

mathanxiety · 14/09/2012 06:05

Not a bit 'in memoriam' imo.

I used my dad's name for DS and my godmother's name for DD2, and actually DD2 got an aunt's name for her mn too. DD1 got an aunt's name as her mn. DD4 got my mum's name as her first name and my mn as her mn (also the mn of both my sisters). DD3 was given the feminine version of an uncle's name (and my confirmation name for a mn). All the rellies were well and truly alive at the time. The only names I used that were 'in memoriam' were DD1's first name and DS's mn.

Joy is better than Winsome, I agree .

MummyPig24 · 14/09/2012 08:33

It's not weird, seems a lot of people do it. My son has my dads name and fils name as middle names, they are both still living. I have my mums name as my middle name, she was still living, unfortunately she has passed away and I gave my dd her name as a middle name. If we have any more children we would probably use my brothers and bils names as middle names for a boy and mils middle name as a middle name for a girl. its a nice way to acknowledge family members that you are close to.

saffronwblue · 14/09/2012 08:37

Each of my DCs have one of my parents' names as part of their name. My parents were delighted and touched. It is a lovely thing to do - though agree Winsome would be stretching it!

birdofthenorth · 14/09/2012 08:38

Not at all weird or implying she's at death's door.

DD has my living mum's name as her mn.

DN has my living dad's name as his mn.

I have my (still living) auntie's name as my mn.

DB has my (then living) grandad's name as his first name.

Those honoured all very touched and I think it's lovely to see te names reappearing down the family tree honouring much loved people and special relationships. except DH wants the next one to be Keith after FIL!

jaffacakehips · 14/09/2012 10:17

DD has my middle name as her first. Its also a family name. If we have a DS he will have my brothers first name as a middle name DH will agree to this

I think it's lovely. My sister named her son after his uncle (other side of the family). Hasn't been a problem at all.

Original poster

NotChristmasCarol · 14/09/2012 10:22

This has been such helpful feedback- thanks all. I also had a qualm that maybe my DF will be offended that I don't use his (deceased) DM's name- but it is also helpful to know that there are views out there that Winsome would be rather a tough one to bestow on a baby. I'm sure someone out there likes it but, for me, it is one of those early 20th century names that is unlikely to be dusted off as "charmingly vintage" any time soon.....

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