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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Choosing a name with your head not heart

15 replies

hairgell · 26/08/2012 22:16

We are having trouble choosing a name for our DD. Partly due to our problem surname and partly because we just can't agree. It looks like we'll have to choose through process of elimination and the name we come up with with be a compromise name.

Has anyone else had to choose a name for their DD in this way? How did you feel about the name you came up with and how do you feel now? Really worried I'll forever regret our choice. Any thoughts very welcome.

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Mollydoggerson · 26/08/2012 22:43

My thought is we totally over obsess about names, and every name (withtin reason) works once we get used to it. Sensible names work best.

MissMitten · 26/08/2012 22:44

I think this happens a lot. DP and I never agreed on a name that we both absolutely loved. In the end we went for a traditional name that DP really liked and I thought was OK. No regrets at all now as the name sort of gets taken over by the baby, if that makes any sense. So now a name that really meant nothing to me is my favourite word, soppy though that might sound!

CanoeSlalom · 26/08/2012 22:52

It won't be a "compromise", it will be the best name according to all your criteria :)

projectg · 27/08/2012 07:58

I have the head v heart dilemma: DH and I both agree on a short list of 2 names we like for DD2. One is classic, unique and yet not so unusual you wouldn't know it, and goes beautifully with name of DD1 - this is the "head" decision. The other is a lovely pretty name that's very popular but I go all gooey when I think my little baby girl could be called that, it's very cute - the "heart" decision.

So, do we go with head or heart?! Argh.

MrsJohnDeere · 27/08/2012 08:09

We chose ds2's name with head not heart. It was my late FIL's name and probably not a name we'd have picked on its own merits. But once it was attached to an actual baby we soon grew to love it and it really, really suits him.

Caerlaverock · 27/08/2012 08:17

Eh didn't really like the name is chose for d and we selected a compromise name, then in theatre the obstetrician asked her name and I came out with my first name, h really wasn't in a position to argue

blackteaplease · 27/08/2012 08:24

We are doing this for dc2, for dd we both loved the girl's name and I loved the boy's. DH not so keen on the boy's name but fortunately it was a girl so no problem.

This time round neither of us liked the first choice name that the other proposed so we have had to draw up lists, narrow it down and come to an agreement.

But having said that, they don't feel like compromise names that we have picked, the baby will become the name. You just have to let go of your absolute favourite as an option.

MagdalenaAlec · 27/08/2012 14:06

For DS we went with the heart: we both loved the name and it was a family one. But for DD we chose to overthink with our heads, not because we had to like you OP, but because we realized that DS's name was not the best idea (lots of teasing potential here). Did not want to do the same mistake again.

Going with your head might not be the most appealing process but sometimes your heart might lead you to terrible choices. And it is your child who will suffer the consequences.
While on the other side, even a compromise name will "become" your child, you will love it, no matter what, trust me.

Original poster

hairgell · 27/08/2012 19:55

Thanks for your words of wisdom and reassurance. Naming your baby is supposed to be the fun part but I'm finding this hard! I'm relieved to hear there are other people out there who have given their DCs a name which wasn't their favourite - not just us then! I am still worried that we'll give DD a practical choice of name but will always really see her as my favourite name which we can't use.

OP posts:

mathanxiety · 27/08/2012 20:35

Head every time. When I look back on some of the whims I had I shudder.

frutilla · 27/08/2012 22:27

The first names for my two were both grandparents' names.

Tiddlyompompom · 27/08/2012 22:37

We chose DS's name the Head way - we also have a tricky surname, and in the end decided that it was wiser to give him a simpler classic first name so at least he wouldn't have to spell out both parts of his name!

We both made short lists, cross referenced them, and only had three names we agreed on - one didn't 'flow' with the surname, one had slightly negative word connotations, and the third we were both happy with.

I'm hoping we have a girl next time as we've used up the only boys name we could agree on!

Whatdoiknowanyway · 28/08/2012 12:00

Neither of my two are known by the names we thought about so hard before they were born. They quickly acquired nicknames which suit them perfectly but which we would never have thought of at the baby naming stage.

wildpoppy · 28/08/2012 13:16

Really interested in this as I have two names shortlisted if we have a girl. a cute one that my heart wants and a sensible one my head thinks is better.

Arabellasmella · 28/08/2012 14:18

Both my sons have compromise names, it was very annoying. We went with a cute one for my eldest son and I do think it was the wrong decision. Should have something a bit more boring and safe I think.

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