Real names and nicknames

[babybythesea]

DH and I are having a debate abut how much you need to take into account potential nicknames when you choose your child's name.
Most of the people I know whose names can be shortened have been (Nicola/Nic, Joanne/Jo, Christine/Chris, Victoria/Vicky, Benjamin/Ben, Thomas/Tom). Not just children but adults as well. The parent of Benjamin insisted he was going to be Benjamin because she didn't like Ben - he was Ben by Year 1 at school!

So to me, it's important to choose names that have shortened versions you like.
I love Elizabeth, and I'd shorten it to Libby or Eliza depending on what suited.
DH hates it (says he doesn't want to name his kid after the Queen!)

I also love Isobel but I don't like Izzy or Bella/Belle. So I'd struck it off the list. Dh says I'm being daft and we can just insist she's Isobel - I think that;s unrealistic.

So, how easy is it to ensure your child is called by the long version of their name?

We have a boys name picked so aren't having the same issue there. Maybe I better start praying for a boy!!

If you don't like the nickname - then personally I wouldn't choose it. I agree that all the people I know with a full name ended up having it shortened at some point (although I know there'll be people on here saying they've managed just that). All of my DC have names with a nickname that I like and that was part of the decision process.

When I was pg with ds I spent months trying to pick a name that could not be shortened.

I settled on Jack.

He is now known as Jackie boy!

My point is that you child's name is going to get changed at some point anyway. Just pick a name you like. All 3 dc of mine have nicknames. Most have nothing to do with their actual names.

You can't control the nn, but you can set the conditions to favour the one of your choice for the early years at least. For children will generally prefer the name you call them.

If you have, say, an Elizabeth and always call them by their full name, then any future nn will be 'decided' by the first person who starts to shorten it. But if you hate Lizzy, use the full name usually but call her Beth sometimes, there's every chance that when someone else wants to shorten it, the DD will herself say 'but I'm Beth' and the one which irritates you less will be the one that takes.

Agree with Spammertime. You can probably keep Isobel for primary school but by secondary she'd be Izzy/Bella.

I agree with you OP. I chose names that could be shortened into names I liked, and discounted ones whose nicknames I wasn't keen on. My DCs are almost exclusively known as their nicknames now.

If you don't like the common shortened version than I'd say don't go for the name. DM gave DB a name that is commonly shortened but she hated the nn - cue massive strops when he was a teenager and was called by that nn by everyone. I reckon you could get through primary school with the full name but by secondary school you won't have any control. Though, of course, you're always going to be surprised by what nn's get used!

Agree w/ U, unrealistic to think you have much control.

I'm glad it's not just me!
I agree with trying to enforce the nn you like (don't like Liz, love Libby - would happily call a girl Elizabeth and get the nn Libby in use first and hopefully establish that!).
It's just the names where I don't like any of the shortened versions (like Bella/Belle/Izzy for Isobel) that i don't think we should use.
Obviously there will be other names that might appear (I have a friend called Buffy which came from an older sister being unable to say Eliabeth! And I know a Joffy and a Joth who are both really Jonathons but with unusual nn's for the same reason). I have no ojections at all to that - I'm certainly not against shortening names in principle.
I just wondered if I was being silly to discount otherwise lovely names simply because I didn't like any of the obvious nn's.

Most people think not.
I shall tell DH that, once again, I am right!!!

Defo agree. You have to think about nicknames. I like Isabella but not izzy so would never choose it. I think short names often get lengthened too which you have think about like jack above. I ruled Luke out as although I love it I had visions of myself accidentally saying lukey! DS's name can't be shortened, there's no obvious nickname. DD's has a kind of slang nickname which she will defo get called by friends i'd say and though I'm not mad on it and I won't ever call her that, it's not awful.

Her NN will evolve. You can't dictate a lifelong NN.

We had the same debate over Antonia, since we both hate the nn "Toni". We love the full form and decided to go for it anyway. DS gave us a good reason to choose it by calling his sister "Taïa", which is a lot better than Toni imo (sounds pretty cool actually).

My point is that you should maybe ask the children you know to pronounce the name and they might come up with a nn you would never have thought of!

Another thought: if you like Isabelle as well, you probably can use Isa as a shortening. That is the French nickname and your DD might be happy to have a different nn than all the other Izzy, Belle, Bella she will meet.

Forgot to add that there are also Zaza and Zaz (not keen on those, but each to their own).

I do think most children with easily nicknamed names will get one by the time they get to secondary school unless the child themselves insists they only want to use their full name.

I have a William and I am currently pregnant and will find out in two weeks if it is baby Thomas or Eve. I intend to call William and baby by their full names however I am fully aware that there is only a limited time I can control this so I am happy for them to call themselves Will/Bill/Billy, Tom, Evie or whatever else if that is their preference. I will probably still call them by their full name though unless they really hate it.

So far William has never been known by anything other than William so it is going ok so far but I would never advise anyone to choose a name where they hated a common nickname as you know someone will start using it.

I have a Jessica who has never been Jessie or Jess. Mind you she is only 5 so that could change.

Probably wise not to choose a name with nicknames that you acturally dislike I agree.

I agree with you OP. I really like Tamsin but not Tammy/i. So we didnt use it.