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How do you agree when you have totally different name ideas?

10 replies

MB34 · 17/08/2012 22:49

DH and I are clashing so much on the name front right now that I'm worried we'll never agree!

We're both Welsh and live in Wales but as I've just posted in another thread I didn't take his (very Welsh) surname when we married - I have a very unusual Polish surname so when DS is born I am adamant that he will be double-barrelled (altogether 4 syllables).

Our dilemma is DH only likes Welsh names and I only like 3 names full stop-none of them Welsh.

I like
Nathan
Nathaniel
Elliott

He likes
Dafydd
Sion
Cai
Iolo
(I think he's going through the cast of Pobl Y Cwm!)

My other issue is that as DS will have a surname that he'll always have to spell, I don't want him lumbered with a difficult first name too.

The only name we both sort of like is Kazi (Ka-zsi - think Zsa Zsa Gabor but with an 'i'!)
I joked that as we can't agree we'll have to think outside of the box, so I jokingly said Kazi (my Polish grandad was Kazimierz - nn Kazi) and DH said he'd rather that than the 3 I like!
But as my reasoning above - we can't go for this!

Please help!

OP posts:
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KathrynK · 17/08/2012 23:05

Can only suggest what we did. We had a big piece of paper on the wall, and added post-its with names that we liked. Each time we added one we were allowed to take one down. So the really awful ones got eliminated, and we were left with the ones we could both live with. We also got used to the names over time. In the end we both agreed on the final name.

I wouldn't worry too much about always having to spell the name. With even the simplest names it's common to have to say "with an e" or "without an e".

I'm sure you've also thought about what the names might get shortened to... And you can always have one Welsh, one Polish name, to cover all bases!

Good luck!

seeker · 17/08/2012 23:08

You can't possibly call a child Kazi!

CouthyMow · 17/08/2012 23:17

Kazi sounds VERY like kharzi, which is slang for toilet. I really wouldn't choose to call a DC in the UK that!

I get the whole thing about uncommon, hard to spell surname just wish my own bloody parents had, it is a total PITA to always have to spell BOTH names every time.

Nathan sounds best IMO. Though surely if you are in Wales, no-one there will find it hard to spell Daffyd?!

ColourMeWithChaos · 17/08/2012 23:24

What about Ellis - is obviously very like Elliott and is the anglicised version of the welsh name Elisud so might tick the box for DH?

If not compromise is key - would your DH be happy with a welsh middle name and one of your first names or vice versa?

MB34 · 17/08/2012 23:40

That's a good idea KathrynK, may have to try something like that.

I don't think I've done Kazi justice when trying to pronounce it - never once did kharzi, or whatever seeker thought, cross my mind, when people were saying my grandad's name!
It's more of a shorter 'a', as in apple rather than 'a' as in car and the 'zi' is more of a she sound (with a 'j' thrown in somewhere!) rather than zee.

Anyway, I don't think we would call DS that, it was just a throw away comment as to the fact we may have to come up with new inspirations for names!

I know that living in Wales, the Welsh names won't be a problem but I'm hoping that we won't live here for the rest of our lives (I can't wait to get away tbh!)

OP posts:
MB34 · 17/08/2012 23:45

Colour - I think we've decided on a middle name - Wyn - after my dad and DH's dad, it's not their full name but both have it in their name.

I'll have to think about Ellis - I'm not immediately liking it but it may grow on me. Thanks

OP posts:
suedpantsoffem · 17/08/2012 23:46

But none of the welsh names are uncommon in Wales, so you don't need to worry about having to spell them if you carry on living there. I LOVE Cai and Iolo.

strugglingwiththepreteenbit · 18/08/2012 08:16

we live outside Wales but dh is very proud of his Welsh lineage and a Welsh name for our first-born son has been set in stone since we got together. We don't have an awkward surname, though. To be honest, how often do you really have to spell your name? People need help with both my dds but once school/gp/library/clubs have it they tend to get it right.
As for how to agree, just keep talking and flicking through the books. Either of you gets the power to veto anything you don't like especially when you've just given birth

Frikadellen · 18/08/2012 19:54

IMO when you have different name ideas you keep going until you find common ground.

So sorry op but you need to find some other names you like as does your dh.

I have said it before it is " our" baby not "my" hence naming is a joint effort.

Our 4 children have not got my favourite names because dh didnt like them. They have got names I would never have imagined I would chose for my children but I love them to pieces.

Team work.

nearlymumofone · 18/08/2012 21:51

Frik is probably right OP. I'm due any day now, DH doesn't like the names I love and vise versa. We have a list of names we both 'like' but don't 'love', I would never have imagined calling my dc lots of the names as they aren't my favourites. However I think it's just got to be a compromise.

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