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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Harry... just too popular?

32 replies

nenehooo · 13/08/2012 14:59

Hi everyone, I'm having a massive dilemma with this...
I've wanted to use Harry for a boy for ages as it was my Grandad's name and for various reasons means alot. However both DH and I aren't too keen on having a name that's really popular - which Harry clearly is now!!!
And what's really killing it for me right now is that our neighbours have just bought a dog and named it Harry. DH also likes to point out that my Mum had a cat and called it Harry about 6 years ago although he died soon after she got him.
My argument is the sentimentality of the name for me and also the fact that I'm a teacher in a London school and dont know of any boys called Harry - surely if it were that popular there'd be some around? However we've just moved to a rural area and DH says he's heard a few parents calling Harrys around here - so it's likely it's a more popular name in this area.
I guess what I'm asking is if anyone has used a really popular name and whether it's that much of a problem for you or the child? Any advice appreciated - I've got about 9 weeks to go!

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StateofConfusion · 13/08/2012 15:12

i have a Jack, he is 5, been to preschool and completed his first year at school, we are yet to meet another Jack.

I'm pregnant now and want to call a girl Lily after my Grandma, i don't care how popular what it means to and dp is more important.

StateofConfusion · 13/08/2012 15:15

missed a paragraph out somehow, basically every one told us he'd be one of ten in his class at school etc and it was 'common' but it doesnt appear to be!

ColourMeWithChaos · 13/08/2012 15:28

My eldest (18) is a Harry (well a Henry but he never gets called that) and we haven't come across that many others.

We live in a rural village and I've got kids ranging from 18-8 months so know a lot of the children round here - I know three Harrys apart from mine - they are 10, 8 and 6.

RubyFakeNails · 13/08/2012 15:35

I haven't ever used a common name but I know lots of people who have.

I don't think it's ever really been a 'problem' for the child at all. Quite often there are duplicated names at schools and I don't think the children really care. My name was implicated in one of my uni classes and somewhere I worked, really didn't bother me. Parents only see it as a problem if they're the sort to want a unique name and are really precious about that.

Harry has always been quite common, I've known a few, and have always lived in London, although do think it's less popular here than in more rural places. But for you it's the sentiment and I think that's what's important, why have a name that means nothing to you but nobody else has.

mumutd · 13/08/2012 16:40

I think go with your heart, the popularity of names changes all of the time. My friend was quite upset after choosing a non popular name for her daughter, when she started school there was another girl starting with the same name. Her main thought for choosing a name was that she didn't want her to be know as (for example) Anneka B (not real name ), which is exactly what she has been know as.

LegoAcupuncture · 13/08/2012 16:46

What about using it as a middle name if your DH is against it?

I have a Harry who is 3 and yet to meet another the same age.

Original poster

nenehooo · 13/08/2012 16:46

Thanks everyone - I think you're right Ruby, and that was my argument with DH when he was insisting that it was too popular around here - what it means far outweighs how many people have the same name and I guess that'll always be my argument. The thing that's bugging me most at the moment is the dog at the bottom of the garden - I just know I'm gonna hear ALOT of "HARRY NO/STOP IT/SHUT UP" coming from their direction... could get annoying!

OP posts:

MoonHare · 13/08/2012 17:02

You have special reasons for wanting to use the name so don't be put off doing so if that means more to you than your son having a more unusual name.

It is a very popular name (now no.1 boys name) and flukey that you haven't come across it. DD1, now almost 4, was in a nursery group of about 15 children - 4 of which were called Harry. We know several but as someone else has said choosing a less popular name doesn't guarantee that your child will be the only one in their class anyway.

Don't worry about the people with the dog. You'll soon be shouting exactly the same things in your garden!!!

RubyFakeNails · 13/08/2012 17:07

The dog thing is irritating but even just a year is a long time, they could move, gt rid of the dog etc and once it's your sons names you will be so caught up in him I doubt you would notice.

rachel234 · 13/08/2012 17:44

I'd use Harry as a middle name - that way you can still honour your Grandad but avoid your ds having THE most popular boys name.

In our Beavers group there are 3 Harrys out of about 20, two of which share a similar surname (and surname initial)! No, not the end of the world, but it somewhat defeats the purpose of a name as identifying someone (without adding surname or other modifier).

TheEnglishWomanInTheAttic · 13/08/2012 17:54

Was your Grandad officially a Henry, known as Harry? It was a lot more common a few generations ago I think - would give you another option, and Henry is a good name :)

My DD's name turned out to be incredibly popular when we moved to the country we now live in - if we'd stayed in the UK she wouldn't have known any other children with her name, but here there are loads of them, and it was the number 1 name for her year of birth - oops! She has complained about it once or twice and had a brief attempt to use her middle name, but didn't like how people pronounce it. In the end though everyone calls her by her first and family name, which has pros and cons (was funny when DS1 was 2-3 and used to call her by her full name too!) It does mean sometimes when I say my family name people I don't even know will say "Ah you must be the mum of the Anna EnglishWoman" and tell me their granddaughter was talking about her last week or something - I quite like that, and people wouldn't make the connection in such obscure ways if she had a name unusual enough to be stand alone (as DS1 does).

tammytoby · 13/08/2012 18:00

Agree that a middle name would be a good compromise.

There are a LOT of little Harrys around here so if you have a common surname your ds may well have difficulties being identified. Depending on what area he works in, it can be really helpful to be identified and found easily.

Original poster

nenehooo · 14/08/2012 12:31

Oh crikey it's such a hard decision!!! Thanks for all your opinions though, they are helping!
Englishwoman Grandad WAS officially a Henry, which I have considered - he never ever used it though and Harry just suited him better so think it'd have to be Harry to capture his spirit IYSWIM?
Don't really like Harry as a middle name I'm afraid tammy/Rachel/Lego - and we want to use DH's Dad's names as middle names as they will never be considered for first names unfortunately (Bertram or Earnest!)
Had the talk with DH again last night, and whilst not strictly opposed to Harry, because he DOES like it, he puts forward a good argument for the popularity thing - he says he had 2 other boys in his class at school with his name and he hated it.
I've accidentally killed our second choice of name for him by bringing up how his family (East End accents) will pronounce it - Ethan - will get called Eefan/Eef. Honestly didn't mean to though as I still quite like it!
He's now considering Micah after previously banning Michael or any form of it (my Dad's name - lots of boys in my family named after him and also DH's Uncle's name)
Other options are Dexter or Finley - after DH reading out the top 1000 names for boys (and girls) these are literally the only names that we both like.
And I thought getting DH to agree to actually have a baby in he first place was the biggest hurdle...
Anyway, essay over, thanks again for reading/replying!!!

OP posts:

nearlymumofone · 14/08/2012 16:40

It would put me off. It really depends how popular the name is in your area. When had ds 2 years ago, ALL my friends who gave birth to boys that year called their sons Harry. Kent/Essex area FWIW.

Having said that I can see the reasons why you want it and I did call my son after my grandad! (Although it's a relatively uncommon name).

Herrena · 14/08/2012 16:45

I've got a little Harold, but realistically he will always be Harry to us! He was born 3 weeks ago so just before this list :(

Sirzy · 14/08/2012 16:48

I would use whatever name you like. Ds is a Harry i know one other pre school aged Harry.

AlfieBear87 · 14/08/2012 18:11

I have an 8 mo Harry. I don't know any others his age in this area. I don't care that it's the most popular name at the mo, we chose it because we both love it and it certainly suits our little boys cheeky nature!

I grew up in a house where my step sister had the same first name as me - it got annoying sometimes but it never overly bothered me.

Phaedra11 · 14/08/2012 18:56

Just looked at the regional stats for baby names in 2011 and Harry does seem a lot less popular in London than in every other region. I wonder if it's anything to do with the royal family and having a child with a prince's name being less attractive to those living in London?

You may find that its top rating elsewhere in the country puts a lot of other people off using it now.

Also, as I posted elsewhere I think it's easier for children to have a well-known, fashionable name than a weird one which no-one's heard of or can spell - except for an odd geography teacher who embarrasses you hugely by discussing the mythology associated with it in front of the whole class. I speak from experience

RustyBear · 14/08/2012 19:04

There were three Harrys (and four Sams) in the year that just left the school I work at, but it didn't seem to bother them - they formed the Harry Club and wrote to Prince Harry asking him if he'd like to join....

RustyBear · 14/08/2012 19:05

Incidentally, having just read your last post, OP, there was also a Micah in the same year!

josie81 · 14/08/2012 19:16

I have a Harry and you do hear it a lot, there are 2 others living on our street! But I really don't care because none of them are MY Harry! I picked it because I love it and it suits him down to the ground, so I don't regret it at all. Go with your heart and honour your Grandad I say.

Original poster

nenehooo · 14/08/2012 20:54

Oh god Rusty I hope I don't live near your old school then!!! But to the Harry club, that's brilliant!
nearlymum that's interesting info... DH is from Kent and family all there/Essex - I'm West of London and got him to follow me out here but we nearly ended up there - funny!
I've also used this argument somewhere in our long debates Phaedra - we have therefore discounted any names that might need to be spelt. Will try to find those regional stats...
I'm banking on trying to leave the decision til we see our baby - although, again, DH would rather have a name set in stone before the birth - can you tell we have lots of debates?! I think if we leave it til we see them then we'll just know - plus after seeing what I've been through he's more likely to let me have my way!
We seem to have agreed on a girl's name though, which is good news!!!

OP posts:

nearlymumofone · 14/08/2012 22:43

nene what's the girl's name?

Original poster

nenehooo · 14/08/2012 23:07

Darcey - at the moment! We also both like Sienna (but already know 2 at school where I work) and I love Amber. But Darcey is winning atm!

OP posts:

holler · 15/08/2012 11:29

I don't know any Harrys, but I do know three Henrys (all under one, Midlands).

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