A Baby Called Dave...

[Rodgerina]

My DH is determined that should our planned child end up a boy it must be called David James Walker.
I have several problems with this:

1. I'm pretty sure David James is/was a goalkeeper and I don't want to look as though I'm in the habit of gestating a tiny human for the best part of a year and then ruining all that hard work by naming him after a footballer.
2. I lived next door to a David Walker growing up and he was a weird old man who buried his dead dog under a rockery in the front lawn.
3. My family is from South Manchester and "Baby David" is too close to actually becoming the Royle Family for comfort.
4. HE WILL END UP BEING CALLED DAVE. He will drive a white van, drink cheap lager and read The Sun. I literally cannot imagine anyone addressing him in anything other than an Only Fools and Horses "Awright Dave" cockney accent. He will have to move to Essex, which I would not enjoy.

However, DH is insistent. I wouldn't mind if it was a family name, or some deep meaningful connection with the name David, but it isn't. When he was at school, he had a fight with a boy called David, and (FRUITLOOP ALERT) the upshot was that DH ended up saying he would call his son David to prove a point that the David with whom he was fighting was a [swearword]. I have no idea how the logic for this works, but that's my husband for you.
Consequently he says that he has "always imagined" that his son would be called David.

My question is, should I have veto rights over this? Are my reasons for not wanting to give birth to a Dave any better than his for wanting a David? I personally think that the casting vote should belong to the one who has to push it out of their vagina, but heigh ho.

This dilemma is holding up proceedings, if you know what I mean... Need to fix this because I'm pretty sure that my window of natural fertility won't stretch to the day when they can guarantee a girl!

My favourite Rob Rouse (comedian) routine is the baby called 'Keith'.

No offence to anyone whose DS is called Keith. My cousin is called Keith. It's just a funny routine.

David Jason,
David Niven,
David Schwimmer,
David Tennant,
David Walliams,
David Attenborough,
David Blunkett,
David Cameron,
David Lloyd George,
David Bowie,
David Beckham,
David Coulthard,
and finally Edward VIII - aka as David.

Too name a few

OP see point 4!

I know plenty of perfectly nice Daves, and I am aware of what the PM's name is, I just don't like it! Also, slightly flawed logic that just because some people called something are famous or nice or have done well for themselves that it is de facto a good name. There's a Saint Adolf (who must have been quite a nice person), but you wouldn't call your kid that now would you...?

I suppose I meant if he's proposing it for stupid reasons I feel equally justified opposing it for similarly flippant ones. If you don't like a name and you don't want a child called that it doesn't really matter if it's a beautiful name or not. Might be perfectly nice on someone else but I get negative connotations from the name (plus James is an ex bf, so don't really feel right about that one either).

If there was a possibility of him budging it wouldn't be an issue. He refuses to even consider any alternatives, even under a "but what if it's twins" scenario.

I have a list of lovely girls' names which have meanings to us both, and he's ok with those, but if I suggest anything for a boy it just gets hit with a flat "no". Even tried naming the dog David so I could use the "you can't name the baby after the dog" defence, but it wouldn't stick.

Unless I have got pregnant in the last week or so, I am still "trying". I want a longlist of names in advance, because my mother didn't think about what I was going to be called before I popped out and my name ended up rhyming until I got married and changed it. Sorry if it offends anyone's sensibilities that I am not in the club yet, but actually joined this site for some tips on getting pregnant and pregnancy.

Obviously I am some rampant Daveist and I must be put up against the nearest wall and shot immediately. I obviously need to "get over myself" and go and read the daily mail. Me and Dave will see you down the Nag's Head in 19 years' time.

Tell him 'You're funny', and give a little mysterious smile while tickling him behind the ear.

Or tell him the TTC business is off until he agrees that David is off the table.

maybe better keep your fingers crossed that any future babies are girls :) .....or find a new partner!!

Maybe when the baby becomes a reality rather than a theory he will listen to reason. Personally I like the name but that doesn't matter, YOU need to like it and quite clearly you don't.

If you don't like it then he needs to give up the name, and pick something you both like
I did know a baby david though and never really found it weird
but if you dont like it then you dont like it

My son is called David and I think Dave is a hilarious name for a baby (It's also a family name so that's the main reason we went for it).
If you don't like the nickname, or in fact the name, don't name him that. Just refuse or it will annoy you forever. You need a compromise. If you gave him David as a middle name it wouldn't be shortened to Dave anyway so maybe that's a good idea.

My husband's name is David James C. He has a degree and a masters degree, doesn't drive a white van (in fact, I'm a better driver and have driven more vans than him), can't stand lager, def doesn't read the Sun (unless its lying around on the train, but then don't we all??!!) and we don't live in Essex.

Tbh I expect you thought you were trying to be funny with all that twaddle but seriously, its just offensive!! If you don't like the name, don't use it. Your DH's reasons for using it are just as ridiculous as your reasons for not.

Both David & James are traditional names and even used by royalty.

Oh and FWIW, although lots of people call my DH Dave, but I don't. They also use a variety of other nicknames but that's friends and colleagues for you - how many men are actually called by their birth name by their mates??!!

If you don't like it, don't use it. Simples.

David's a nice name weird points you've given, even weirder though you've planned a whole life for a baby you aren't even pregnant with. Id sort that issue first!!

IMO each parent should be able to veto name choices of the other. If the OP doesn't want to call her baby Dave then why on earth should the OP's partner get to overrule that?

We always imagined having a boy called Roger, before we had children. But when they came along, we changed our mind.

Is he so intransigent about everything else, or just this one thing?

'i don't like it' is a perfectly good reason to veto a name.

It's just not something people call their children anymore is it?

1. 4) HE WILL END UP BEING CALLED DAVE. He will drive a white van, drink cheap lager and read The Sun. I literally cannot imagine anyone addressing him in anything other than an Only Fools and Horses "Awright Dave" cockney accent. He will have to move to Essex, which I would not enjoy

Are you some sort of idiot????

My DP is called DAVE, he drives a red van (his white one broke down), comes from south east london so has a cockney accent, drinks stella artois but i draw the line at reading the sun - could you tell me precisely what is wrong with all of the above???

He will probably be called Dave yes, but usually as a child, david.

The only problem i have with it is it is actually a really popular DOGS name just now

have a for your ridiculous snobbery and get over yourself

Ooooohhhh get you OP!

I think you sound rather unpleasant. I didn't think you'd update but you have and you come across badly in your second post also.

4. Guess what? He may well do all those things if he isn't called Dave, too :o

I think that you should keep going until you find one that you both like.
However David is a lovely, classic name.

Well, I don't think you sound unpleasant OP; your post amused me.

DH was keen on Andrew (although not for such bonkers reasons) and I opposed it as to me it is a similar name to David - there were a lot of boys called both in my year at school so I can't help but associate it with older people. The names I liked - Teddy, Sam - he hated. So we compromised - on James, funnily enough.

On the other hand, a toddler would be much more likely to be Davy than Dave, which is nice IMHO. Also, the child in Dogger by Shirley Hughes is called Dave, whcih I have to say I did find amusing at first but am just used to now.

I don't think you sound unpleasant either OP, just that you were trying to inject a note of humour into what must be a frustrating situation. And you are not alone in thinking of names before being pregnant either! I know lots of people who have done that.

However, being funny about a name will often touch a nerve for people who have close associations with that name, hence some of the reactions. Names are usually very personal things to all of us.

Good luck in getting your partner to approach things from a more reasonable stance! As others have said, either of the parents can veto a proposed name and it should then be off the table. You both have to like (or preferably love) the name for it to be "the one".

my dad is David and he gets called Dave, but he doesnt drive a van generally (has done occasionally) he doesnt read the sun or drink cheap lager or have a cockney accent.

he did serve in the RAF for over 20yrs and is educated with a degree.

my ds1 has David as a middle name after my dad :)

and my ds2 has a friend at school called David, he is always called David, he is 10 and i have never heard it shortened ever, he is a lovely boy, very polite and kind and his dad is a gp, no essex accents or lager drinking.

if you dont like it, you dont like it but your reasons for not liking it are laughable.

Davy is lovely as a nn for David imo.
David is a great name and due a comeback.

I don't like the H's attitude that it's his way or the highway however. I think allowing him to name the baby David under these circumstances would be a bad idea.

"Also, slightly flawed logic that just because some people called something are famous or nice or have done well for themselves that it is de facto a good name."

Of course, your logic that attaches negative stereotypes to a name plenty of people like and have no issue with, and makes it a Bad Name is perfectly rational.

DS2 is a David James [surname]

He doesn't drive a white van.

He does have an Honours degree in Genetics and will soon be a Master of Science.

He is named after his grandfathers - both successful Davids.

We called him Davey or Day when he was smaller.

What do you prefer OP?

I love the name David but your OP was hilarious (and not remotely offensive fgs-I read it as tongue firmly in cheek!). If you don't like it you can veto it for that reason alone.

You've cheered up my night no end!

I thought it was funny too. My son has three uncles all called Dave/David.

We live in Essex.