Is this a mean thing to do to DM?

[monsterchild]

I am not due until December, this will be our first child. We found out we are having a boy. My DM has a history of making the expectant parents lives hell about names, and then groaning and moaning that they didn't pick names she approved. I saw all this with my brothers and sister when their kids were born.

My Dh has (not unexpectedly) some issues with DM's controlling ways. So he has decided that we are to tell her that the baby will be Catfish. and then, after the baby is born and a normal name sort of name is chosen, she won't have so much to moan about.

I think it's funny, but also a bit mean, however, she does bring this on herself by criticizing everyone's names!

And I'm also a bit afraid that Dh will continue to call the kiddo catfish!

Ever since DSis was little she has said she likes a certain name, when she found out she was expecting (no father around) she said if bump was a boy it would be this name, within a week she "didn't know what name for a boy" apparently DM had put her right off by saying she didn't like it. I gave DSis a right talking to and lo and behold DNephew is now called the name she has always liked!
I think Catfish is a brilliant wind up and it won't stick either DD nn was Toilet Duck as she was very nearly born down the loo - it did not stick many dirty looks by me everytime it was mentioned

I would NOT be asking her to send a list. I'd be pointing out that she's had her turn already and if she still has such a hankering to name something, why doesn't she get a new pet?

Just wanted to warn you that people do not necessarily hold back their delightful opinions once the baby has arrived and has been named.

Ex's Mother's reaction when we told her we'd had a boy called Oscar? "Ugh (said with genuine revulsion) that's SO GERMANIC!"

Yup, rude AND xenophobic. That's quite a skill.

sending shortlisted names? My jaw actually fell open! How many parents does the child have? That's the two people who have an input.

My ds was Ruprecht before he was born and dd was Jellybean!!!

Great idea

Nagoo, I know but we were quite stuck. We asked on here too and felt that since we were asking an internet board of strangers perhaps we could run it by family for fun.

It was quite helpful as we have an awkward surname which is the ending to lots of words. One of the names on our list made a weird word when combined with the surname. We hadn't realised in our sleep addled state (DD wasn't named until she was 2 weeks old).

DD was Mungo before she was born (didn't find out the sex obviously). PIL's and parents thought we were serious as we live in quite an 'urban-trendy' area of London and they assumed we'd gone native . The relief when we told them what we'd called her was palpable!

PS apologies to anyone with a Mungo. Just because it isn't to mine or my family's taste doesn't mean it isn't a great name!

I am loving Catfish btw -I think your dh is hilarious. Catfish and Pecan - too funny.
I am going to against the grain and say do it! I have a mean streak (not a very big one honestly) and I would enjoy this immensely. Sorry if that's bad.

Catfish all the way!

Just make a vague comment that you have not decided the name and it's not up for discussion! Catfish is funny though but I would be wary of it sticking

Monkeyface it was, until we announced the name from the hospital. We were given a few suggestions by family but said 'Thanks but I even have a list for cat names', which is true.

Catfish is an excellent choice, unusual but pronounceable, familiar but with a touch of the exotic. Be wary that the more trendy Kittyfish is rocketing up the popularity charts though, so Catfish may follow suit in years to come.

I would perhaps opt for Felinefish on the birth certificate, to avoid DC's life opportunities being limited with a nicknamey moniker atop his or her cv.

Be warned that it could become chaverised should copycat namers seek to spell it Katfish, with a distasteful K, or worse still, hyphenised as Kat-Fish.

The above aside, it is your baby, so whilst Catfish may not be to my taste, if you love it, use it.

[sniggers at birds ]

Can I recommend Slithery? Slithery Ann?

Ooh noooo. No list. No discussion, as soon as you give her an 'in', you have had it. She will think she is involved.
Say you haven't decided, always change the subject. When she puts forward a name just smile sweetly and say, hmmm nice
Then when the baby is born announce the name and run.
My parents were exactly the same and this is what we did. They then complained both times but had a lovely little baby to look at, to take away the pain

Edith it's the OP's mother!

Catfish is very good.

Excellent idea. I'd also proffer Marmalade in case it is a girl... Catfish sounds like a boys name.

I would also ask her to provide the list of the names that she made of her own choices when she was naming you and your siblings - and the associated lists made by your dad (to prove that he had some input into it, and also thereby that your dh will too)

I wouldn't stop there however - if she is expecting to have her list to have serious consideration then she needs to provide lists that her parents and PIL gave to her when all her children were born - in order to start a discussion about how much input they expected - and got - in naming their grandchildren

If she let them choose some or all of the names or at least veto them then she might be feeling that it is rightfully her turn now as she didn't get a go when she named her children as she abidcated that decision to her parents/pil - in which case you need to have a nice chat with her about how it's not really your fault that she didn't get to choose her kids names but it is one thing that you are planning on doing for yours so sorry.

If she says that no way did her parents/pil have any input into her children's names then you can have a much more robust conversation about why the hell she thinks she can name her own children and her grandchildren when she wasn't prepared to let her parents name her children. she has raised you to her standards so why on earth would you do something that she didn't do.

good luck - both managing your mum and with your new baby catfish! (or should that be kittenfish? )

Schlock - the slithery baby name thread is my favourite ever.

All very good suggestions! I am sorry I wasn't on the last few days, I loved your analysis, Bird. I hadn't thought of Kittenfish, or is it Kittenfingerling?

Good point about not letting her have too much hope of naming. Oh, why can DM's be so very focused?

i did ask her to do the list knowing that she will very likely not give me any list whatsoever, which I can then use to say, "well, you didn't give me a list!"

DH is still enamored of Catfish and is now calling the kidlet Catfish Monster. I suppose if we have another it will be Dogfish?