Who gets the final say in naming the bady?

[JonJames]

if you are at an total inpass, who gets to decide? what would you do?

jj

You.

Wait a few days and don't be hurried.

No one. You change your names to one you both like.

Surely you pick a name you both like?

With DS, We just kind of stopped at a name. I don't remember there being a decision at all. With DD, DH chose the name. I didnt feel that comfortable with it until she was about 1

I don't think any one person should have the final say, you should just keep going until you find one you both like.

We agreed DH could do boys and I'd do girls with me having ultimate veto

IMO, the one who did all the hard work. Fortunately, we agreed on DDs name but I would have insisted had DH not liked it enough.
He had no input in her middle name(s), I went to register her on my own and the woman at the typewriter surprised me.

DH had final say on DD, we couldn't decide and I'm crap at making decisions. I'm really glad he did, the name he chose really suits her and the ones I liked wouldnt have I don't think. Also in hindsight her actual name works better with our surname.

No one, you find a name you both like

I gave DH a pre approved short list and let him pick from that.

No one of course!

There is bound to be a name that BOTH parents can agree in.

I chose a name, ex another one, and then we worked out which way around it sounded better.

I have a friend who since we were children she wanted to use a particular name if she had a girl, she married a man who insisted the girl had to have the femenine version of his name. It is a bit funny really, because mum and all her family call herby one name, and his dad and his family by another one. She has chosen to use the one given by her mum since she started school many years ago. Nobody has died yet.

Nobody. You have to keep going until you find one you both love. If you can't find one you both love, find one you both really like.

Hell, put all the options in a hat and draw one out if you have to but you don't play Senior Parent and Junior Parent - that will only lead to resentment.

Just don't let your other kids choose or you may end up with a baby boy called princess sparkle bum

It simply isn't fair for anyone to have the final say - you keep going until you can agree on something. All my DCs have compromise names. If you are not prepared to budge then I suppose that you would have to toss a coin.

I agree with JoyfulPuddleJumper - I bet it is the mother who wants final say because she has already decided on being 'senior' parent. You start with equality IMO and compromise.

As older kids, three of us chose our youngest brother's name. He got the first two names that we shouted out, mum loved the name combination and it stuck :-) I remember it like it was yesterday :-)

In my family, we have made an agreement. I choose all the children's names, and in return I allow dh to have them baptised.

A selfish part of me is inclined to say that the Mother has the final say. After all, it's her body that goes through the pregnancy, then there's the thing of actually birthing the baby.

But the part of me that knows better dictates that it has to be a joint decision. It's the Father's baby, too! And I think by saying "well, I grew the baby, so there!" is kind of throwing it back in his face. It wouldn't be acceptable for a man to say to his wife/partner if she wasn't working "well, I earn the money, so there!"

We compromised for DD1s name. I chose DD2s name. I think he let me have that :)

MammaT

If you are not together, then the mother.

If you are then picking a name for your child together is one of life's great pleasures. There should be no need for a "final say".

DH chose DD1's name, but I loved it.

We struggled a bit with what to name DD2 and had not finally decided when she was born. I insisted we decide that day and not drag the arse out of it.

DD3's name DH was happy for me to pick as all the girls have Irish names and he is not Irish. Obviously he had to approve my choice, but he was out of suggestions (and we were both a bit bored of thinking of Irish girls' names by that stage).

We have 4 DC. DH chose all the names after months is discussion. But I said no to any I didn't like and he chose again.

So he chose but I had veto.

We discusses names throughout the pregnancy and came up with a handful of boys and girls names we would be happy to use. After the birth, we had a sit on these names for a little bit and eventually decided to use a name which was more my preference than DHs and a MN that was definetly my preference but I didn't force the situation. I would have been happy to use any on The List.

I think DH was happy to let me have the final say after watching me give birth however I wouldn't have used this to my advantage and would have been happy to go with one of 'his' preferred names.