How did you choose between your final few names?

[PrettyInDecadence]

DC2 is very nearly here and we just can't decide on a final name for a boy. We have a few that we both love (but both have different favourites) and we just don't know how we'll make a decision. How did you finally decide if you love more than one name?

See which suits when born!

It was extremely difficult with DD1 as we each had a name we loved; DHs was Naomi and mine was Mia. However, we were probably both being very stubborn in retrospect. Neither of us would relent so we chose a name we both liked but, at least from my perspective, didn't really love. I love the name now because it's my PFBs name and has 'become' her, but it took me about a year to really like saying her name (isn't that awful?) I'd say her name but in my head be thinking "I wish we'd called her Mia, or Sophia, or Charlotte, or Jessica."

So, I suppose I'm saying what not to do. If it's a name you compromise on, make sure it's not your second choice, IYSWIM. For me, naming DD2 was easier because I was determined not to make the same 'mistake'. I humoured DH with the names he liked but I was firmly determined that I would choose her name. I did. And their names are perfect together (if I do say so myself!)

MammaT

That's exactly it, MammaT! We're both so stubborn that neither will relent on our favourite names.

Ah, well, Pretty my beloved DH and I being stubborn over DD1s name is a minor regret in my life.

I vetoed Naomi as a 'no way' name simply because I wanted to call her Mia so much. In the end, I didn't get to call her Mia because he felt the same way over his choice of Naomi. Calling her Naomi wouldn't have been bad (I like the name now!) and he has since admitted that Mia is a nice name. In fact, that name was on the cards for DD2, but was outshined by the name she has.

It's difficult when emotions are running high in preparation for your new baby but you and your DH/DP need to try and relent one way or the other, or reach a truly satisfying compromise.

MT x

Why didn't you just go for Naomi, nn Mia?

Wow you ladies are diplomatic! If me and DH hadn't agreed on a name I'd have waited till she was born and told him 'iv just been through x hours of labour/got sliced open, she is called Mia!'

show That's my intended tactic for DC2, who if he is a boy, is called Edward (Ed). DH refuses as he hates Ed Balls (like that's a reason).

When the midwife asks me if we have a name, I will simply fix DH with my "I've just expelled a watermelon from my fanjo" stare and say "Yes, Edward". I am not expecting a comeback

Anonymous this compromise may work for some, but it became such a contentious issue that I think if she'd been Naomi on the BC, I would have felt aggrieved. She'd have been NNed Mimi from Naomi, anyway (which I actually really like!) But it's still not Mia, so I would have felt that he'd 'won'.

It doesn't matter now as DD1s name has such beautiful meanings and totally suits her. She is so not a Mia when I look at her. So, it took me a while to come around to her name, but I do love I now.

That said, I wouldn't allow that to happen again (as I didn't with DD2, or wouldn't for any more DCs)

MT

I've thought of doing that, show, but just can't imagine making DH use a name he doesn't like :(

Agree, but I think there's a big difference between "can't stand" and "don't mind it but cant get excited about it". Have agreed that Mortimer (my fave) is vetoed as DH cannot abide it, as is Noel (his fave but I'm not calling my son after half of Oasis, even if it is the talented half), but he doesn't not like the name Ed, he just doesn't like Ed Balls, which is a stupid reason, especially as we know about 7 real life Ed's who are all really good blokes. So I've told him it's Ed unless he can come up with something else.

DS has a "compromise" name- tbh, neither of us were crazy about it, but neither of us was anti-it. Two years later, we both really love it and cant imagine him being called anything else

I embarked upon a shameless campaign and wore DH down bit by bit

(although I'd never have pushed for a name he didn't like)

I think I may have to resort to that, Skinny, as we're making no progress what so ever :(. I'm due tomorrow so things are getting pretty desperate!

My plan of attack:
Phase 1- "preparation phase": Tell DH a) the names you have always loved; 2) cross the names he "can't stand"; 3) try to compromise
Phase 2- "fake decision making phase": a) Agree on a compromise name; b) keep pushing for the name you want (with any luck it may grow on him); c) try to love his top choice name (I could not)
Phase 3- "narrowing the options phase":get him to agree that a compromise name is not the best option in your opinion
Phase 4 - "bitchy phase": take advantage on him being all emotional at being a Daddy and witnessing you go through so much pain => call baby the name you love right after the birth but let him pick the mn.

I am between phase 3 and 4, practicing the bitchy face every day in front of my mirror.
If it is a girl, I WILL HAVE MY ANTONIA.

I must have a strange DH! when our last child was born there we where in recovery after my section and he said 'what shall we call her?'. I said 'Lucy Isabelle' and he trotted off to make the calls to family ect.. announcing the name and that was that. In my head I had a list of three I loved and thought when I saw her I'd know). Well she wasn't an Annie and she wasn't a Lily or any of the other names I had thought off. I knew he liked it and he didn't have any other suggestions (or could even remember the others on the list) so I got my way and now he thinks its pefect for her! ha ha!

maybe it will be easier then you think?!

four weeks before I was due I sat down at dinner and said to DH we have to decide the name now its driving me nuts, lets get it sorted and pick one now. We sat and discussed it for an hour and in the end the mulling over I had done for the past week or so trying to get the names right worked. He loved my ideas and we came up with a girls name and a boys name including middle names. and after that we didnt budge.

Richman - I might have to employ your tactic I think as I want an Edward (and wanted it for DS1 but didn't get it). My DH doesn't hate it but doesn't love it. I, on the other hand, love it and it is my father's and grandfather's name.

I think I might insist on it this time if we have a DS2 and let him choose the middle name. Plus the baby gets his name, so bugger that. Plus, as you have pointed out, I will have gestated the child for 9 months plus pushed it out a bloody small hole. Surely that grants automatic naming rights?

September similar thing happened with my DH & our DD. He asked, I suggested, he said 'ok'. It was surprisingly easy.

On #2 now & finding it much harder to decide on my favourites so I have some names in mind if the same thing happens again...

OP - if you both really can't stand each other's name, you might as well give up on them, as it could be more upsetting at his/her birth to be arguing over a name. Try to agree on a shortlist you both like then see which one suits on the day.