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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Not being funny but.....

23 replies

amck5700 · 15/07/2012 19:52

There seems to be a lot of people here deciding in advance what their child's nickname will be then trying to fashion a proper name out of it.

Surely you pick a name for your child that you like and then you may end up shortening/lengthening it or calling them something else completely on a day to day basis as they grow and their personality develops??

Why are there so many doing it the other way about?

Genuinely curious as this all seemed to pass me by when I named my boys.

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Geranium3 · 15/07/2012 19:59

I totally agree op!

Original poster

amck5700 · 15/07/2012 20:05

I hope no-one thinks I am trying to be nasty here, as that isn't my intention, it's just not something i have really come across before. My eldest was called various things when he was little other than his name (Sunny Boy, Sunny J(im), Snow bear (it was on a t-shirt!) now he is called by his name as he is 12. My youngest was called Moosie/Moosie man for many years due to a picture on a jumper he had at Christmas when he was a baby but again at age 10 he is mostly called by the name we gave him.

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Original poster

amck5700 · 15/07/2012 20:06

...meant I haven't really come across before....

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MammaTonic · 15/07/2012 20:25

I don't really know the reason why, OP, but I think it hints towards an even more contrived method of naming babies.

In our culture, everything has a sign value and connotational value. Not that this is particularly new, but baby names are a part of it. The baby being a representation, reflection and extension of the parent(s).

It's difficult to explain without going into a very long (and possibly rambling!) post, but by considering the NN first, a parent is making even more sure that their child's name carries the 'right' connotations.

Well, there is this. But it could also be that parents love the name Izzy but don't want to put it on the BC!

MammaT

Bearcrumble · 15/07/2012 20:27

I would love to read your long post about it, MamaT - seriously.

Original poster

amck5700 · 15/07/2012 20:35

lol mamma - the izzie example is actually fine i think. That is a normal diminutive that can be used in it's own right where they would like to put the full name on the birth certificate.

It's where they say I want to call be daughter "spoon" or something so what can I put on the birth certificate and then they contrive to come up with a name that puzzles me.

All the normal ones - e.g. Beth (Elizabeth) Dan (Daniel) and Tom (Thomas) aren't really that contrived, just giving an option to be used as an adult.

OP posts:

Bearcrumble · 15/07/2012 20:37

It's not a nickname if the parent chooses it ahead of the child actually being born. Nicknames have to come organically if they come at all.

MammaTonic · 15/07/2012 20:41

Aww, that's very sweet Bear, thank-you!! I'll still try to keep it short and not ramble too much :)

Our culture is one that is built upon Capitalism. How this translates into our everyday lives is that there is an abundance of everything: there is so much -even too much -choice. This is relevant here because it is evident in names, too. A parent needs to make sure that they get it 'right' (whatever that might be) according to their socio-economic group, to give their child the best start.

There is also something very middle class about this issue, too. Like, naming the baby is one thing, but how do you then control/influence/ensure the child's NN? It's a reflection of the so-called 'middle class anxiety': a parent wants their child to fit-in, but then they don't want them to be too bland. Alike, but not the same. Different, but not radical.

And I think that's why we see the NN before given name issue on MN. Isn't the typical demographic a middle-class one, and all the stereotypes that connotes?

DialMforMummy · 15/07/2012 21:14

I totally agree OP, I don't get it. My cousin named their DS a "proper" name, say Theodore, for the sake of argument, but said he was Teddy. If you want to name him Teddy, then call him Teddy. I find the whole thing a bit daft.
Like Bear said, a nickname comes out organically and is not decided in advance.

Original poster

amck5700 · 15/07/2012 21:22

Hmmmm - maybe that's why I don't get it then, OH and I were both brought up on council estates (me in a city, him in a village) and would consider ourselves working class - from back when there was a working class in council estates and not just a benefit class. However, we would probably now be considered "middle class" - we both have professional jobs/4 bed detached house in a nice area, 2 cars, foreign holidays etc. However, as that's not the way we were brought up, it feels foreign and I guess we don't really fit anywhere.

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LRDtheFeministDragon · 15/07/2012 21:25

Does it matter?

I think it's hard to please everyone, isn't it? My DB and SIL chose a name for their DD then almost immediately called her by her nickname, which is both a shortening of the proper name, and a name in its own right. As a result lots of judgy people tut and say 'oh, they obviously changed their minds, they should have thought harder and called her the shorter name in the first place!' Which is stupid - they like the longer name and chose it quite deliberately.

It is daft and surely it doesn't matter which way round people do it?

MrsHelsBels74 · 15/07/2012 21:26

Our son is Frederick but normally Fred or Freddie. We wanted him to have the choice of what he is called rather than limiting his choice to one name.

Number 2 will either be Harry or Bertie but will be Henry or Albert on the birth certificate.

5madthings · 15/07/2012 21:31

we didnt choose a name because of a nickname but we did rule out some names as we didnt like the shortenings/nicknames ie we really liked genevieve for our dd but KNEW she would just end up being jen, which we dont like so we didnt use genevieve.

my kids have random nicknames, some come from their names, others do not at all!

Original poster

amck5700 · 15/07/2012 21:36

LRD - no, it doesn't matter - that's not what the post was about and it wasn't about people using an obvious diminutive and putting the longer version on the birth certificate, it was about people choosing a nick name and then trying to contrive a proper name out of of it - for example one poster wanted to call their daughter Pie as a nn and was trying to work out what actual name she could give the baby

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LRDtheFeministDragon · 15/07/2012 21:39

I suppose some people have a sound or an idea in their head that they really like, and just work back, though?

I was thinking about it and it is quite common in DH's culture, where absolutely everyone is called by nicknames and every common name has about 10 standard nicknames to go with it. You'd usually pick a nickname you liked simply because full proper names are not so often used. Maybe that has an impact?

Bearcrumble · 16/07/2012 08:31

I think I agree with Mammatonic - I'm definitely guilty of choosing given names because I want them to be nice, not too popular and not off the wall and I actually purposely chose names that I thought didn't have class connotations - but even so I guess they do.

When it comes to the nicknames I gave my children they were for silly reasons (mainly because of funny things they did) and they had loads at first but then one or two stuck. I am under no illusions that they will have brand new nicknames given to them by their peers as they get older.

My name is Natasha and at school I was called Natty, Knasher and for a while at primary school I was 'Whippitin' because of a discussion about raw eggs and steak tartare (there was also a boy who had the nickname Whiffo Bean but I can't remember why - I did once chase a man up the street shouting Whiffo Bean because I was sure it was him. It wasn't.). My parents called me Tata because that's how I pronounced my name.

pictish · 16/07/2012 08:39

Must admit I've never come ascross what you describe. I've never met a single person who tried to think of a name that could incorporate a desired nickname, other than shortened versions of actual names.
Even if I did though, I'd think nothing of it. It's their kid and their decision. Not sure why it should bother you.

Original poster

amck5700 · 16/07/2012 09:22

pictish, have you read the post? did i ever say it bothered me? I wondered why people did it and if you read through the posts on here, you will find loads of examples.

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AnnaNimitty · 16/07/2012 09:34

I think the answer is quite simple. Some people may like a certain nickname,
like Millie or Dolly for example, but don't really like the names Millicent or
Dorothy. Therefore they try to think of alternatives like Amelia or Theodora!
Not really that hard to understand.

MammaTonic · 16/07/2012 09:38

Individually speaking, Pictish, of course it is no-ones business what parent(s) name their child or how their child's NNs develop.

As a point of observation, though, there seems to be a crop of threads on MN that seek to find names around a desired NN. I think it reflects broader issues in our culture, which is interesting to discuss if done so objectively. I think that is what is being done on this thread.

pictish · 16/07/2012 09:38

Settle petal.

Bearcrumble · 16/07/2012 09:57

The example given - 'Pie', isn't really the same as a diminutive of a given name.

It amazes me when someone comes on a thread, misunderstands it and then gets narky, tells someone else to settle.

RobinSparkles · 16/07/2012 10:15

I wanted to call my DD2 Lottie. I think it's a bit of a "cutesy" name and sounds quite nick namey so her actual name is Charlotte (which I also adore and sometimes refer to her as).

I don't tell people that they have to call her Lottie though. I usually introduce her to people as Charlotte but refer to her in conversations as Lottie and it just seems to catch on.

I am open minded that when she gets to school she might go as Charlotte or even Charlie, but I will always call her my little Lottie.

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