Did you have equal choice in your DC's names?

[raininginbaltimore]

What I mean is did you both love their name or was it a compromise either way. And if you compromised on one, did you get more say in another.

Dh chose DS's name. Obviously I like it, I agreed to it. But he hated all my suggestions and it was the only one we could agree on. I chose his middle name. The name also has family significance for Dh (his grandfather's name)

Dc2 is a girl, and we have had similar difficulties. Dh has one name he loves and although will think on others, I know he is stuck on that (Hazel). I don't dislike it, bit for some reason I can't love it. It doesn't feel like her name.

I would like either Evelyn (my grandmother's name) or Alice (with evelyn as middle name)

He doesn't dislike either of these names and I sort of think (possibly unreasonably) that I should have more say and a possibility to have something that means something to me.

Raining DO NOT LET YOUR DH HAVE THE FINAL SAY!

FFS, we're the ones ho get pregnant, grow the babes, our bodies change, we have allthe postpartum stuff to get on with, etc. The least we should be allowed is a deciding say in the baby's name!

I say this because DH an I compromised on DD1's name. I really really wanted Mia, he wanted Naomi. We just weren't particulary struck on the other's 1st choice and were both too stubborn to relent to the others choice. I got cold feet about thr name about a week before she was born an he wa like 'Okaaaaaaay we'll call her Mia if you really want'. How could I pick that name if he was so obviously pissy about it?

So, we went with a name with a gorgeous meaning - and nice sound - but it was not my first choice at all. For the first year, if felt like I wasn't saying the right name, and I felt horrible for that.

Dd1 is 3.5yo now and the name has grown on me because it has become 'her'. I love calling her name across the playground and I don't see her as a Mia.

With DD2 (born this April) I knew pretty much from the start (and before!) what I wanted her name to be. She was a long time in the making (2 yes TTC and 6 Clomid cycles) and I wanted her name to reflect that. DH wanted Kitty: I humoured him. I was polite.

But there was no fucking way my hard-earned baby was going to be called Kitty.

When I saw her little wiggy self on the 20 wk scan, that was it: "IT'S BABY L*!" said I. And that's been her name ever since.

Look, it's only fair in your situation that, as DH chose your son's name, then YOU should choose this baby's name. Your DH needs to be okay with it, but YOU choose it. Don't make any compromises. Put your fucking foot down and mean it.

Best of luck! x

Maybe I just need to be more stubborn than him this time!

normally i'd say choose a name that you are both happy with. but from the sound of it your husband chose your current child, so seems fair that you get prime choice over new baby. would be horrid if your partner didn't like it at all though

He likes them. I wouldn't choose one he hated. It just isn't his favourite. I am 32 weeks and getting stressed that she will never be named!

I would also say a name wed agree on. But we can't find a name we both love.

Arghhh

With DC1, DP likes the long name but I prefer the abbreviation & call her that (and, as I do all the paperwork & go to the baby groups etc & therefore have introduced her to more people, that's what she's mainly known as); with DC2, I like the long name, DP prefers the abbreviation but I think he'll be known by the abbreviation as its one of those names which the majority of people would automatically shorten (think Samuel to Sam type thing).

I get final say because I grew, carried and delivered the baby at great personal cost (career, figure, physical pain and damage etc etc). I wouldn't call a dc something my dh really hated (unless he hated everything I liked), but if we couldn't agree on an ideal name for both of us then I would certainly get the final choice. Dh couldn't agree more, so no arsey arguments either. I really couldn't be doing with a pissy whingy bloke tbh after all I've gone through! x

After seeing me give birth dh would have let me call the babies anything!

He did like the names though but thy weren't his top choice

It turns out that in my dp's family, the men have always named the children. He comes from a patriarchal culture. It was not worth arguing over just for the sake of the name having been my idea in the first place. Our dc have beautiful names, and if i was not sure about one of them to start with, it very quickly grew on me, because it belonged to our wonderful child.

I chose my daughters name - dh is of the view that the woman carries the baby for that long and chooses their clothes etc and that they should choose the name. So i chose the first name and i let him choose the middle name and he wanted to use his grandmothers name Lillian which i liked anyway.

I think that both ds' and dds' names were originally dh's idea but they were both our jointly preferred names. When we were expecting dd we thought she'd be a boy and spent months trying to think of a good name before finally landing on a combination we liked (not because of disagreement particularly we just couldn't find 'the one'). I don't like the idea that either parent should get the deciding throw really, it seems too important a decision to disagree on somehow.