Just how do you decide?

[soggygreenleaves]

This may sound silly but just how do you decide on a name?! We are going round in circles and there seems to be a problem with each new suggestion. Either our choices don't go with our surname or we don't agree or the initials are silly etc. I would really like to make a decison in the next couple of days so I can move on and think about other things!

If you had similar problems, how did you decide in the end?

The best advice is NOT to ask on here. Everyone has different tastes and you never please all of us (random internetters ). Choose a name YOU and your other half love! Good luck!

Thankfully dh and I had similar tastes and we chose names that 1) we loved, 2) that worked well in two languages, 3) that sound good with our surname and 4) that weren't super popular. Still love them now (5 and 3 years on!). We also didn't ask anyone's opinion before the birth!

Thanks tammmy234. I think that is the problem, we aren't able to use the names we love as there's a problem with each so it looks like we'll have to choose one from further down our list. But how?!

Pick the one that you feel most comfortable with, the one you like the sound of, the one that works best with your surname. If you're bothered with popularity and dating, choose one that is further down the popularity rankings.

The thing is, within reason, it really doesn't matter as your child's name becomes who they are anyway, but I agree that not everyone has an obvious favourite or one that holds a special significance to them which makes the choice easier. Obviously it has to suit the surname to a certain extent too.

On my second pregnancy we were going round in circles to decide for twin girls, as we really had no attachment to any. In the end we both thought about real people, book and film characters we particularly liked and made a list.

It helped as the names then had characteristics we liked attached to them. One twin was named after the character in a series of children's books that our older child loved and the other was named after someone we admired in real life.

If you're really stuck it might be worth trying.

We couldn't agree on names while I was pregnant. In the end we just put it to one side and waited until our baby was born. After meeting her, it was much easier to know what her name should be and her middle name was one that we'd never even discussed.

Good luck.

we talked about names for months before our first was born and we were pretty set on a girls name but deep down we both knew it was a boy - we had a couple of options but when he was born, neither seemed right. We then went through the graduation lists in the paper and narrowed it down to two and picked from there. With the 2nd we didn't even bother to think about it before he was born. Afterwards we just went through a book and put some names each on a piece of paper and passed the lists back and forward crossing one of each at a time until we had two left then compromised on the final name (by that point he was a week and a half old!!)

It sounds simple, but go with your gut. Try not to overthink.

With DD1, we chose a name that I liked, but was not my first choice. We compromised because it has beautiful meanings, but for about a year afterward I wasn't struck on the name. DD1 is 3.5yo now and the name has become 'her' so I love it. However, what I'm saying is that my instincts said 'er, hold on, what about something else?' but another part of me vetoed that inner voice.

With DD2, I knew the name I wanted; I danced around with a few other names but when saw her on the 20wk scan, a voice in my head said 'THAT'S BABY L!' I didn't let anyone sway me this time, and I'm glad I didn't. Your gut feeling is usually right x

We made a list of names we both loved individually. We then rated each others list with no way, ok, like it, love it.

We then played all the names off with our surnames.

We ended up both only agreeing on one name which is also unfortunately a main character in a quite recent film trilogy but sod it.

Now I subconsciously call her by her name when I am talking about her and it fits, I just hope it still fits when she comes out!

Both go away and write your lists separately and then swap and read your partners list with an open mind and pick a couple you would consider and only then negotiate. This will stop vetoing for the sake of it.