DH and I cannot agree on girls names

[TheRealMrsHannigan]

So, DH and I are preparing TTC baby number 2, but are on completely seperate pages when it comes to names, and although not pregnant yet, I can see this being a real problem. We have a boys name we both love, but if we were to have a little girl it would be really difficult.

We both have very different tastes in names, it was sheer chance that we settled on DC1's name. He calls all of the names I like 'Poncy' and I really dislike the names he has suggested so far. I will list mine and his so you can see just how different they are:

Names I love:

Daphne
Darcy
Isla
Ivy
Aisling

Names he likes:

Chelsea
Sierra (like the bloody car!)
Connie
Sadie

I know it seems silly to worry now, but it's really worrying me that we have such wildly differing tastes.

DH and I are exactly the same. Some of the names he came out with are unrepeatable. You just have to work it out. Get a copy each of the same baby name book, go through and highlight the ones you like and cross through the ones you would never entertain under any circumstances. If you get a matching highlighted name - bingo! If you have no matches, cross through any highlighted names that are crossed out in other's book and use the remaining list as a starting point. If still no agreement, look at the unmarked names for one you can both tolerate.

This is pretty much what we did too. DH kept saying no to every suggestion I made so I asked him to make a list and we picked the names we liked most in each other's list. It turns out I am starting to love his girl name choice #1. Did not work for boys names though.

I think Sadie is nice from his list imho!

birdofthenorth Sadie is probably the one I could live with, but I don't love it iyswim? I think we just ahve very different tastes!

Thank you for the baby name book tip, I will have to hunt down a very thick volume so we have lots of options, I think we will need them!

I wonder what sort of names would be a good compromise. How about Iona, Sienna, Anneliese (Annie), Evelina (Evie), Holly, Adele, Clara, Charlotte, Coralie?

Stepoutofspring I will suggest Sienna as I think that may be a good compromise, close to Sierra but sounds much nicer! Adele is pretty but I would lay money on him categorising it as 'poncy' (He has a very narrow mind when it comes to names and won't abide anything he classes as 'posh')

I have a grandaughter Sadie but you could use Zadie, I like sienna, and Darcy/Darcie and Romy, Willow, Sage, Miya/Maia, Tori and Hadley.

If he likes Sierra, what about Seren or Zara (or even Sarah)?

I do not think your names are at all poncy (with the possible exception of Daphne although I do like it). Isla is very popular, and Darcy is viewed by some as the opposite of poncy (akin to Chelsea).

If he like car names what about Cleo?

I like Isla and Ivy from your list. Not too keen on any from your DH's list I'm afraid. Connie is OK but I'd name Constance with Connie for short.

Daphne - don't like it. Old lady-ish but not pretty imo
Darcy - Quite like this but possibly only because one of my best friends used it and her child is adorable. Prefer it spelt Darcey too.
Isla - Love it. Beautiful name.
Ivy - It's ok
Aisling - not keen.

Names he likes:

Chelsea - I actually quite like the sound of it but not all the associations that go with it so I'd rule it out for pure snobbery's sake I'm afraid!!
Sierra (like the bloody car!) - don't like it
Connie - quite sweet but not very adult. Constance?
Sadie - Really like it, very pretty.

I'd go for Isla or Sadie and don't actually view those two names as being in totally different camps (unlike Sierra and Daphne!!). Names I see as being in the same vein as Isla or Sadie:

Ariel, Ayla, Ava, Amy, Anna, Bella, Bonnie, Bethany, Ciara, Cassie, Callie, Cara, Cora, Daisy, Dana, Ella, Eva, Evie, Erin, Elsa, Elsie, Esme, Edith, Freya, Faith, Flora, Grace, Hannah, Hollie, Heidi, Hope, Iris, Iona, India, Julia, Kyra, Kyla, Lily, Lucy, Leah, Lyla, Lyra, Lexie, Molly, Mia, Maya, Macey, Maddie, Nina, Nadia, Nyah, Nia, Orla, Poppy, Ruby, Rosie, Rosa, Sara, Seren, Sienna, Sophie, Skye, Tara, Zia, Zara, Zoe.

Could you also make up a list of say 5 things each that are important to you when choosing names.

Eg we had that we didn't want the name to start with either of our main initials (and preferably dh's nickname initial too - worked for one dc, not the other but for him it teally made us stop and think that yes, we both wanted the name enough despite this).

Also didn't want the name if any close relatives or friends, nothing too popular so cut out at least top 50 from the lists of names by popularity issued for the 3 years previously. (and tried to avoid any that were shooting upwards rapidly; again have subsequently discovered we failed with that for dc1 whose name was lingering at tje bottom of the list and was suddenly at 10 last year, also is most common name in his year).

I'm guessing you might have no car nes in your list of criteria :o

But say you wanted to avoid all family names and he wanted to name dd1 aftr his mum/gran/greatgran etc and for her to be Sarah Jane the 14th as that's what has to happen in his family then you can see there is a big deal to sort out before you can even start thinking about names that are definitely not going to be anything remotely like you mil's name!

Somebody posted this link on another thread, could be what you need:

www.namedtogether.co.uk

:)

Thank you for all your suggestions, had a lukewarm reaction to Sienna, but not an outright no ;)

Manic I like Callie from your list, so another suggestion. I did love Freya, and he was ok with it but it's become so popular we have ruled it out.

Doitnicelyplease I will try your link tonight and see if we get anywhere!

Doitnicelyplease We tried your link last night and the only name (from the list of 500) that we both ticked off was Esme, so looks like we have an agreement :D

Thank you!

Sadie is the nicest name, followed by Ivy, so I'd suggest Sadie Ivy surname.
Then again, Sadie was on my list for DC2 (who turned out to be a boy) so I'm a little biased

Daphne Daphne Daphne - we have one and love the name - a real grower!

Interestingly, it was initially dh's choice but once I'd come round I was there for good.

But it seems`you've chosen Esme. Glad you've reached common ground. Good luck!