Posh/Wannabe/not posh at all? Please vote...[confused]

[MagdalenaAlec]

Baby#2 will be here in 2 1/2 months and we still do not have decided on a name if it is a boy... I am French, DH is British and we live in the US, so we have to come up with a name that rolls off the tongue in both languages. Because of this, and let's be honest because we are a little snobby too - at least DH is :o , our list probably contains "posh" names.

Question is: which ones would you consider posh and more importantly how posh are they?

Henry
Gabriel
Hadrian (or Hadrien - French spelling)
Amaury
Virgile
Victor
Etienne
Clement
Constant
Joseph
Baptiste
Ian or Iain
Ivan or Iven
Ariel
Ralph ("Rafe"): I know this one is posh..
Barthélémy

We do not really mind if the name is posh, we just want to avoid the "try hard", "wannabe" label. FYI, DS1 is called Alec Charles, and if baby#2 is a girl, her name will either be Adelaide Poppy or Octavia Louise.

Besides, what do you think of the boy names I listed? Would you find some of them too odd? Especially thinking of Amaury, Ariel (too feminine? I love the name for a boy...), Constant and Barthélémy...

Many thanks for your help!!!!

When it's pronounced Rafe?

I like Etienne, and Gabriel, Joseph at a push (but would surely be Joe, esp in America). Actually Etienne is a great name, though I know a girl called that in UK.

How do you know that the penis' name wasn't pronounced 'Rafe'?!

Love Henry, Gabriel, Hadrien, Clement, Joseph (I also really like Joe)...not so keen on the the others.

Ettienne is lovely

Like the suggestion of Gilbert. Unusual and works in both languages.

Ariel has just been ruled out by DH (along with Ian, Virgile and Baptiste) but I still want to insist it is also a boy name which I read in The Tempest and which is pronounced AH-ree-el for a boy, AYR-ee-u/el for a girl (written Arielle then). Damn Little Mermaid, I agree!

I get that Octavia is probably a lot posher than what we initially wanted but it has a very strong meaning for us (we figured it out after we discovered the name but it means "the eighth" and we got married on 08/08/2008 - not voluntarily though, long story) and we love old latin names, so we decided to get over it and not be chickens.

Still in the running for a boy are:
Henry
Hadrian / Hadrien
Gabriel
Victor
Clement
Amaury: would enable us to remove Maurice (great grandfather) as third name (same roots and signification)
Etienne
Constant
Joseph: Will be forbidden to be called "Joe".
Barthelemy: better without the accents? I am not a fan of the nickname "Bart".
Ivan / Iven: might end up as middle name
Ralph ("Rafe") - I feel I am not that keen on this one anymore..

Trying some combinations:
Henry Arthur / Henry Constant / Henry Victor
Hadrien/an Joseph
Gabriel Ivan/en
Victor Amaury
Clement Victor / Clement Henry
Amaury Constant
Etienne Caspar / Etienne Joseph

MardyBra: Gilbert in France is like Edmond, George or Albert, they are old-fashioned but not in a good way and definitely do not fit in the "old man chic" category, in which you find: Anselme, Ambroise (Ambrose I believe in English?), Antonin, Augustin, Basile (too bad it sounds like the herb), Camille, Felix, Oscar, Emile..etc, as well as Joseph, Barthélémy, Henri and Etienne!

I like Gilbert too! Reminds me of the hero (eventually) in Anne of green gables.

magdelenaAlec I guess you have to work out which language it's most important to be ''posh' in cos we'll be helpful on English names but will struggle to place French ones, which will basically just sound foreign. As a rule of thumb you could just use names from Jane Austen books, and then go for French equiv.
I had a boss called Augustin (Or-gus-tan, but I don't need to tell you )which worked fine in English. Augustus is, I would say, a posh name in English.

Bartholemew is English version of barthelemy, & easier to pronounce (remember the 'th' will always be soft in English / US) DH has a friend called this, he just finished his Phd at Oxford so maybe a good omen! he gets shortened to Barty. Dh also has friend called Felix which is a nice name too.
If u want classic posh what about Rupert or Hugo?

Sorry for multiple posts!

I agree Rupert and Hugo are posh in the Uk. Posher than the rest of your list imo. Piers is posh but sadly connected with Piers Morgan

I wouldn't worry about 'categorising' names by class - most people just 'become' their name, regardless of our initial impression of the name. And, as others have said, names move 'down' the classes anyway so names considered very posh only a few years ago (e.g. Sebastian, Hugo, Quentin, Monty and even Rupert) are now quite 'normal' imo - I certainly know some very un-posh ones .

From your list I like
Victor
Clement
Constant (but prefer Constantin)
and I love Octavia for a girl!

I know 3 Gilberts under 6 (all French). It's old man chic personified amongst my French friends. I know a devilishly handsome adult Gilbert too. His brother is Ludovic. Ludo and Gil.

Ludovic is nice. And definitely posh in English.

Henry - LOVE it
Hadrian / Hadrien - seems odd, as I live near Hadrian's Wall, so if any boys were called this around me, we might presume it was his place of conception
Gabriel - LIKE
Victor - Hmm...... rather posh
Clement - TOO posh
Amaury: would enable us to remove Maurice (great grandfather) as third name (same roots and signification)
Etienne - not sure
Constant - sounds like a girls name
Joseph: Will be forbidden to be called "Joe". - Like, but you may struggle to prevent Joe being used
Barthelemy: better without the accents? I am not a fan of the nickname "Bart". - Like Bart but Barthelemy is TOO posh
Ivan / Iven: might end up as middle name - urgh, I know someone with this name, so wouldnt like to comment
Ralph ("Rafe") - I feel I am not that keen on this one anymore.. - Ralph - GREAT, Rafe - TOO posh

However, as you like Octavia, a name which I would deen exceptionally posh, maybe that is your taste. And you shouldnt feel bad about that.

What about Fabien or Otis?

My favourite from your list is Henry

I love clement. Adding it to list for hypothetical DS2. I think Clement Henry sounds great, very classy. I think all your list are nice. June never heard of Amaury but I like the sound of it, and people will pick it up. I meet lots of people with names I've never heard of.

We had a very similar discussion before DS was born. Actually, he came early and we hadn't agreed on a name! We decided on Leon in the end (old man chic - I love this expression). The problem is a dearth of boys' names pronounced similar-ish in both languages. Very difficult. I now think we over-thought this and should have just stuck with a name we liked (we very much like Leon, but avoided Jake for example because eveyone I asked said 'Jack' and couldn't seem to hear the difference - now saved if we have another DS!). We also kept eliminating names based on things like 'cousin X called that', 'that's the dog's name' etc and I now think this was a mistake - I love Louis, great name, and Yves (pity about Eve pronounciation).

Henry - pretty ordinary
Hadrian / Hadrien - imperial IMO, but nice
Gabriel - religeous
Victor - nice
Clement - not very well known in english?
Amaury - love it but as above
Etienne - as above
Constant - don't like it, but otherwise as above
Joseph - nice
Barthelemy - as Clement

Interesting that some posters seem to love classic names that others see as 'too posh', imlying something negative. I can see why you'd want to avoid a very 'downmarket' name, but what is the worst that can happen to you with a lovely, classic, elegant 'posh' name ?

Also, don't your associations change once you meet a lovely, normal person with a name you'd perceived as 'posh'? Doesn't the name lose its poshness (assuming it's something negative)?

I don't call names too posh in a negative way, and would like to apologise if that's how it seemed. For me, a name would have to fit in my little bit of society. Not 'working class / middle class / upper class' necessarily, just that my DD will be going to her childminders with kids called Ella and Aimee, and school with a shitload of Sophies so for me to call her Octavia would just be so out of place. It's such a drastic difference to the circles she will grow up in and I feel would single her out in some way.

I love the name Otille, but would spend years convincing those arond me that it was 1: an actual name and 2: how to spell and pronounce it.

Yes, I completely understand that Gnocchi, although I bet the other children wouldn't mind in the slightest whether their friends are called Sophie, Chardonnay, Ella or Octavia .

Henry and Joseph - Versatile: could be your doctor or your builder

Hadrian/Hadrien - Never come across this one before (apart from in the context of Hadrian's Wall) but I think it sounds nice and will work well in all 3 cultures

Gabriel, Victor and Clement - Good choices: perhaps a little less widely used than Henry and Joseph but would again suit a doctor or your local barman

Amaury, Etienne and Constant - I don't think these work as well in English. Constant will be pronounced like the word which would grate on me. Amaury is a bit tricky for me to say and reminds me of Maury Povich - the American Jeremy Kyle, as far as I can tell. Etienne is extremely French which is fine but you wanted one that worked in both

Barthelemy - I have no idea how to pronounce this! BART-ay-lay-my? Could you clarify? I'm not sure it works well in English although it looks interesting. Bart will be the inevitable nickname. I like Bartholomew more - with the nicknames Barty or Tolly

Ivan - I've not come across the Iven spelling; is that French? In any case, it's a fine choice

Ralph/Rafe - Not sure

Octavia is very posh in the UK but you've got a nice reason for picking it. Check it's not downmarket in the USA though - got a feeling it could be for some reason.

I really like Victor or Clement. I think they will do well everywhere. There are classic & timeless.

I have a soft spot for Barthélémy, but there is the massacre. Bartholomew is less appealling.
How about Bartolomé? or even Barnabé, Barnabas, Baltazar/Balthazard? Basile, Edgar, Alphonse, Anselme, Emile, Marcel? Ferdinand? Anatole, Aristide?

Etienne Joseph is a delightful combination. Pronouncable in English, slightly unusual and sounds absolutely wonderful with a French accent .

Thanks a lot for all your answers, it really helps us!

Trying to answer everybody:) :

• Suggestions:

Fabien: a little old-fashioned in France (they went to school with Sebastiens and Ludovic - all are around 40 today). Flavien/ Flavian was on the "latin/Roman emperors" section of our list too but we felt that somehow Hadrien would be better and removed it. Btw, I have read that Tarquin is more and more in use in the UK, which I find a lot weirder than Flavian or Hadrian (esp Hadrian: 6 popes, including the only English pope..). (H)/Adrien is just a classic name in France, not posh at all.

Rupert and Otis do not really work in France
Hugo: DH hates the name (would have been nice with Alec though). Definitely not posh in France (very popular in the end of the 90's).
Augustin: I love the name but every time I tried to make an English speaker read it properly it was a total disaster, so I ruled out all names ending with "-in" in French (Antonin, Bastien, Cyprien...).
Pasiphae: I like this kind of names (esp Anselme) but DH is not keen on them. Basile is tricky: it sounds like the Italian kitchen herb (basil).

• Clement/Constant:

Both are pronounced just like the adjective in French. Interesting that most of you found Constant odd while Clement seems to be ok with the majority; my guess is that it probably has to do with the fact the adjective "constant" is a lot more frequently used in English than "clement". In France, Clement (like Clemence) is a quite a widely used classic name whereas Constant (Constance) is a little snobbish. I think we will keep Clement and remove Constant.

• Barthelemy/Bartholomew and Amaury

This one is a conundrum! Between the sound "th" and the sound "ew", it is a safe bet that the French will never be able to get Bartholomew right. Here is the French pronunciation: www.forvo.com/word/barthélemy/#fr DH says something along these lines: "BAR-teh-leh-mee", which is perfectly fine with me. Thank you for suggesting "Barty" or "Tolly" as a nickname! I still do not like nicknames in general, but these two sound a lot better than "Bart" to my ears.

The tricky thing with Amaury is the spelling because its pronunciation is quite simple ("AH-maw-ree"). It is of Norman/Germanic origin.

• Why "posh" names:

Actually we are not specifically looking for a posh name, it is just an observation that all the names we like are either "artsy" (none left on list...) or "classic/elegant yet not too widely used", aka posh in most cases. What I want to avoid is the "wannabe/try hard/new money" label which I find very tacky and which would be really weird in our circles - except among the expat community in NY, of course. Oh, and I totally agree with you, Hugebluebump, children absolutely do not mind about what their friends' names are..unless their parents do mind and teach them to - which I will not.

I have never heard of the name Otille, where does it come from? Is is the same as the French name Odile?