Surnames question

8 replies

Cosmo89 · 09/05/2012 21:15

so DP and I aren't married.

We're experimenting with first names for our DS (due June) at the moment and are working on the basis that we will choose either his or my surname depending on which seems to go better.

Are there issues that we're not considering here? Does it really matter whether DS has my surname or his father's?

If we get married in the future, will this cause problems?

I don't know what issues might arise, just wondering whether we haven't really considered what we're doing.

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Badgerina · 09/05/2012 21:42

Lots of women choose to give their children their surname, and keep their own surname when (if) they get married.

I actually wish I'd done this but I hated my own family name (I refuse to call it my "maiden" name - sorry!).

I think it's an increasingly obvious choice for the forward thinking woman. I wouldn't worry about you and DCs having a different surname from your DP. Women who have chosen not to take their husbands name in marriage, have been putting up with this for quite a while.

DP could always take your name, couldn't he?

Eglu · 09/05/2012 21:44

I know someone who has given her children her surname. She is married but kept her own name. I think the children having her name is because her dhs name is D'Eath.

bagelmonkey · 10/05/2012 09:53

My friend's 2 children have her surname, but her DP's surname as a middle name.

DogEared · 10/05/2012 10:08

My friend had this problem and they decided no surname. I thought it was weird at the time but they gave her two names and used her middle name as a surname IYKWIM (Think Sarah Violet)

Stellan · 10/05/2012 12:56

Give the child your surname. If you marry the child's father and decide you would like to take his name, you can change both of your names at the same time.

SoozleQ · 10/05/2012 13:06

My DD has my surname as DP and I aren't married and I said I'd only agree to have children without being married on that basis. DP didn't mind. I don't think there are any issues arising out of the choice of name but if you aren't married DP won't be able to register the birth without you being there.

minipie · 10/05/2012 13:18

It doesn't matter for any day to day practical purposes.

The only time it will really matter is if (god forbid ) you and DP split up - at that point you may no longer want DS to have exDP's name and you wil be unable to change it without his consent.

Bear1984 · 10/05/2012 13:23

My DD has both mine and ex's surname so she is DD Bear Ex. I am now expecting 2nd DC with DP and had also been wondering about surnames as I am not married to DP, but we hope to get married in the next couple of years. We had thought we would put baby's surname as DP's as when we get married, I will take DP's surname and DD wants to change her name to DD Ex DP but be known as DD DP (she doesn't get on with her father or see him often and thinks of DP as her father). I have also wanted to drop my surname as I don't get on with my family and I hate how attached I feel to them because of my surname, so I'm even tempted to change my surname to DP's when baby comes lol.

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