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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Anyone else noticed the delay in naming trend?

49 replies

kerala · 17/04/2012 17:19

Lots of newborns currently not being named for days and days. Don't get it really - you've had 9 months to think of a name. When I was in hospital with DD she was the only one on the ward with a name and I was in a week. Whenever I asked the other mothers what their newborns were called they said they didn't know and I was given the distinct impression that I was seen as abit of an oddbod for having already named my baby.

Made me think about it again today as my mother mentioned a friends daughter who still hadn't named her baby after a week. Are they hoping to raise excitement/anticipation levels in friends and family or what? Its usually done by parents who pick really top ten names as well - weeks waiting for....Oliver or Josh.

OP posts:

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Bunbaker · 17/04/2012 20:11

I am another one who doesn't understand it either. Maybe because OH and I never had any difficulty in agreeing on names. I also think children grow into their names what ever you call them. I would have hated to call DD "the baby" for 6 weeks. It seems so impersonal.

theGrapeGatsby · 17/04/2012 20:40

up until 2 years ago i felt exactly as you do. All 8 dcs were named before leaving hospital that is within 6 hours of their birth usually we'd settled on a name weeks if not months before their birth .

then dd5 arrived . when i was 6 months pg dp latched on to a name , he loved it but  i hated it ,because it was similar to a name that hald very upsetting memories associated with it in my own life and every time i heard it or said it i just wanted to cry . dh refused to even consider any other  name. i offered many as  alternatives and was more than prepared to compromise  . for this reason dd was not registered until the last moment  ,as i really hoped dh would listen and we would come to a compromise  on a name .unfortunately he wouldn't and she ended with dh's choice as her name .

vvviola · 17/04/2012 20:46

We had DD2's name picked weeks in advance. Even still, I was a bit surprised when the midwife who was filling in forms literally as they were breaking my waters asked what we were going to call her.

The midwife seemed equally surprised that I refused to tell her until I had 'met' DD2 (considering DD1 had one name for 10 minutes before I changed my mind...)

Mind you - this was in Belgium and random people used to stop me in the street when heavily pregnant and ask me what I was going to call the baby, so maybe by 'delaying' until the baby was actually born I was the oddball

Booette · 17/04/2012 21:53

Sometimes it's a hard choice! DS1 was named 3 years before he was born, DS2 wasn't named for a few days because I changed my mind so often (and changed it again after we named him but it was too late), DS3 & 4 were named as soon as we found out they were boys and DS5 wasn't named for a while because DH didn't like my choice, but then didn't come up with any so I got my way in the end.

5madthings · 17/04/2012 21:58

what pictish said expect it is 5 kids who didnt have names for a good week or so, not 3 infact two of them didnt have a name for 2wks!

we always had a list of names that we liked but wanted to wait and see waht sex the baby was (for the first three) and also what the baby looked like and what name suited, in the end we often picked a name that wasnt on the list!

CherryMenthol · 17/04/2012 22:00

It's the total opposite round here!

People announcing their baby's (full) name as soon as they've found out the gender on the 20 wk scan. Now that really makes me

rachel234 · 17/04/2012 22:04

We too chose both dd's and ds's name very quickly after our 20 week scan - thankfully our tastes are quite similar so it wasn't difficult .

Pooka · 17/04/2012 22:06

With our 3 we had a short list of two or three names and then picked as soon as they were born. Dd was instantly the first name we had previously liked the most. Middle name came shortly after she did. Ds1 was a case of which of the two names to have as first name and which as the middle name. Dss, we had 2 possibles and 1 middle name sorted. Was harder because was second boy.

We didn't know the sex of any of them beforehand, so had suitable girls/boys names lined up.

I agree with the op that it is increasingly common for babies to be nameless for longer. Is not a problem (obviously), but it does seem more usual than it did when I was younger.

PleaseChooseAnotherNN · 17/04/2012 22:08

I have chosen all 3 dc names straight after the 20 or in this case 16 week scans.

Pooka · 17/04/2012 22:09

Yes, cherry menthol - that does seem to be common too (can't win). For us Not finding out the sex was what we wanted and so it does seem odd (to me) to have already announced the name of a baby not yet born.

When I say odd, I mean only that it's different to how we did it, not in a pejorative way.

CherryMenthol · 17/04/2012 22:30

Oh I understand people deciding on a name as soon as they know the gender.

I just feel a little nervous when they announce it to everyone as if it's a done deal.

I guess I'd just be worried they may have got the gender wrong, it does happen. Or we'd have a massive change of heart once the baby was born.

MitrochondrialEve · 18/04/2012 11:42

We had a shortlist when DC was born and tried out our favourite name once DC was born and it suited very well. However, we chose a different middle name a few days later.

We nearly lost DC at birth, and I feel it would have been awful to have to make the final naming decision after loss. Fortunately, DC survived and that didn't happen.

If I ever have another child, I would like to know the name for sure before birth.

Psammead · 18/04/2012 12:18

I suppose people wait until they see thhe baby before deciding what name fits him or her. Or maybe they want their families to be involved in the decision too once the baby is there. Or maybe they are superstisious and don't want to jinx anything, or maybe they don't know the gender and don't want to have two names prepared.

Personally I was thinking of names before I was even pregnant but that's my decision.

rachel234 · 18/04/2012 12:27

"I suppose people wait until they see thhe baby before deciding what name fits him or her"

Do we honestly think that a newborn 'looks' like a John, Dave or Tom. Really ? Imo they all look very similar!

Psammead · 18/04/2012 12:35

Well, like I said, I have names ready and waiting years in advance, but I have often heard it said that someone saw the baby and knew that he or she just wasn't a Daniel/Danielle.

They are probably just more intuitive than me.

DottieRose · 18/04/2012 12:38

I had the name picked before my son was born and never had any doubts about it...luckily he came out suiting the name perfectly! Though this time round i think I may have a shortlist going in and see what happens! Its a big deal and an even bigger responsibility!

Kione · 18/04/2012 12:39

We couldn't agree on any name in thw whole pregnancy, but I knew she was a girl and I thought it would be lovely to have a name even before she was born, I was VERY VERY happy of being pregnant (I am on of those annoying ones that enjoyed every minute of it), so i was upset that we couldn't agree. On the day she was born and put in my arms the first think I told DP was "Oh my god, this is amazing. AND she doesn't have a name yet" his immediate response was "call her what you want", so there and then she was named but first came to my mind of my top 3 list. BUT if i had known it was going to be my sole decision at the end, I might have chosen a different one. Oh well. I still prefer that she has a name right from the start.

Thats a personal reason and I don't see a problem with people taking longer.

Kione · 18/04/2012 12:40

meant to say "what first came to my mind..."

CaramelFreddo · 18/04/2012 13:27

Maybe they should remove the 6 week limit and let the child decide themselves - there'd be loads of Peppa's and Pat's then :)

We had our names picked and announced weeks before the birth. I agree that people grow into their names. it's not like someone will ever say - oh she's so not a (insert name) with a nose like that.

alexpolismum · 18/04/2012 13:36

my neighbour's baby is about 10 months old now and still nameless.

That is considered quite normal where I live, though. People just refer to him as "baby". They thought I was odd when I gave mine their names the day they were born!

each to their own.

HappyJoyful · 18/04/2012 13:40

Slightly off post but I sometimes have wondered something similar - 2 women in my NCT group announced same babies names for their babies born within hours of each other - and then when I had our baby we were undecided and left it - next day another lady from the nct group had her's and called it one of 2 names we had, certainly put me off / helped clarify our choices.. always wondered if the 2 with same name would have changed if they had known / delayed.

WildSwansatCoole · 18/04/2012 13:46

We didnt know the sex of our twins,and,as with our first daughter,we wanted to meet them and see whether we felt their names suited. A very personal decision,and our friends and family werent at all phased by it.
In retrospect,Id have had less names on our shortlist however,as we really started to overthink the twins names,and were so tired and overwhelmed that we felt almost incapable of making such momentous decisions! It took us 5 weeks to get there in the end,and if I was doing it all again,Id definitely have names picked beforehand!
We got the letter saying that names were going to be decided by the registry office if we hadn`t decided by a certain date

BellaOfTheBalls · 18/04/2012 13:55

With DS1 it took us to 37 weeks to decide on a name. With DS2 we were still deciding while I was in labour. We had narrowed it down to 3.

I totally get why it takes people so long. We would have been stuck if we had gone for the original name we had picked for DS2 as he would never have suited it. Its only when you have children that you realise your child is going to be stuck with called that for the rest of their lives and that while Jaxxon-Bleu-Cruz may sound cute on him now, he might not thank you for it when he's 35 and a highflying business exec....

squoosh · 18/04/2012 14:02

Oooh WildSwansatCoole that will probably be the next hipster trend in baby naming, letting the registry office decide!

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