Don't like DH choice for boy....any ideas?

[AllIWant85]

Hi, we have just found out that we are having a little boy. I like names such as Isaac, Ethan and Oliver. I'm not sure about middle name(s) yet.

My dh wants Paul William. I really don't like the name Paul, how do I tell him this gently as it's the only name he has suggested and was the name of his late uncle.

Also does anyone have any other name suggestions?

If you don't like it, don't name him Paul just for your dh's sake.

You can compromise by having Paul as a middle name.

What about
Jacob
Joshua
Daniel
Adam
Noah.

Ds1 is called Ethan! I love it as a name. He is really sweet and kind and gets stuck in and is funny.

Ask him to write down 10 other names he likes and you do the same - see if there's any common ground or room for compromise. Tell him you would like your child to have his own name and not an 'honour' name.

a child needs his own name, if he wants Paul then make it his middle name, with maybe a middle name from your family as that way you have compromised.

also i'm sorry it's cruel but Paul means small (used to know a Paul Small, who thought it was hilarious ) so i immediately though Small Willie, but it turns out i'm actually evil so sorry about that

Paul seems a bit 1950s now. If your DH is really keen, I would use it as a middle name. Then go with Stellan's suggestion.

It's not cruel happen . It's honest. I'd like to save my DC from ridicule if I can help it! I didn't realise that was what it meant, it just reaffirms my dislike of it.

I will ask DH to make a shortlist, hopefully we can find a common ground!

What about Saul? - I think this is a v cool name (think there is a bit of a vogue for old testament names currently) and linked to Paul (which I also don't like and is very dated)

Your other three names are nice, but very popular currently, especially Oliver, so you and your dh clearly have very different taste.

Could you have two middles names? So that Paul and William both get in there, but have another first name?

You just need to tell him you don't like it and offer to use as a middle name. You can still honor the uncle that way. Go with the list making and see if there's a name you both like. If he resists come up with a name that he's bound to hate and tell him you want to name him that. He'll then understand your feelings.

Agree - Paul is lame.

Saul is lovely, as someone else suggested. I love William.

You both seem to like quite classic names, so why not be upfront about your dislike for the name Paul - I'm sure you will find a compromise name you both love.

Another person who doesn't much care for Paul - my brother's name, and he doesn't like it either. Plus I genuinely don't get the urge to name a baby 'after' someone, no matter how beloved, unless both parents also really like the name in question, and it often gets quite divisive, as it's often a family member who meant a lot to one partner, but not the other.

Agree with the suggestion to have your husband write down ten names he likes, and see what common ground emerges.

Paul really isn't due a comeback just yet. You can get away with pretty much anything as a middle name but a first name should be something you both like.

Thank you all for your wise words!! I can be more explanatory now instead of just saying no! I wouldn't object to it as a middle name as I know it's important to my dh.

Also you are spot on HardCheese regarding a name meaning more to one partner than the other, I never even met the uncle so it has no meaning to me

I have made a list of first names I like and have a grand total of four!! blush I think I'm maybe a bit picky! I will ask my dh to do the same.

Nothing wrong with Paul per se, though it is a bit dull, but being named after someone carries a lot of weight, better to be a middle name and not have all the weight of expectations! Your child should, ideally, have a name that was picked specially for them.

I love William, personally

I think choosing a name after someone can start to bring other problems down the line too - if you have more kids then other aunts and uncles might feel upset if they're not 'named after' or dh will want to name after another uncle and you'll suddenly look up one day and think hang on, how did I get 3 kids with names I dont particularly like all named after people I don't even know well (because it wasnt fair to just use one uncle's name) in dh's family and no one after my side - that's not bloody fair at all.

We decided early on when choosing our naming strategy that we didn't want names that started with the same initial as our names nor did we want them to be actively named after anyone.

In the end we used my late dad's name as a middle name; it went really well with the name we chose and we both miss my dad (who would have made a great grandad). But we didn't actively go in choosing his name iyswim.

However for ds2 didn't ever contemplate fil's name - don't like it or the man (he didn't meet ds1 until he was 4!) so quite frankly I doubt he knows about ds1's name but if he does and he feels snubbed then great! Now he might get an inkling of how his son feels.

Would be worth getting you both to wrote your name strategy down too when you write a shortlist. Because if he wants names to be 'after' someone and you don't then that is a gulf that needs to be crossed before the actual name can be chosen.

What would dh say if you proposed calling him after one of your rellies that he didn't really know?