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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Did you tell people your shortlist of names?

27 replies

Twittwooo · 26/02/2012 15:46

We weren't going to, but I have told a few good friends and my mum a couple of the names we are thinking of for our baby. So far the reactions have been positive and tactful, until my MIL asked us the question yesterday. Let's just say her reaction to one of our names was very tactless! It's a name we would shorten, however the 'official' name would be the full version and it's an old fashioned name, but not all that uncommon. Her reaction to the full name was, "Oh, but you wouldn't call her that! You have to think about how the child would feel about their name." Until then, this was our top name and now I feel that if we go with it our daughter's Grandma will always hate her name! Silly us for telling, I know, but I just wondered if anyone else has been through a similar thing?

OP posts:

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Bigteadrinker · 26/02/2012 16:53

Personally no I have never discussed names with anyone but DH for the exact reason you say - I would feel like I had to act on their opinion and if they didn't like it it would play too much on my mind! I guess it's too late now, but if you and your OH like the name then go for it, you can't please everyone.

What's the name? Xx

Ragwort · 26/02/2012 16:54

No, absolutely not - there is no reason to tell anyone until after the baby is born surely?

KikiLeith · 26/02/2012 16:55

Nope, haven't done it. Told them about some of the names that have slipped off the list and then remembered why discussing it at all is a bad move!

Having said that, it doesn't matter a jot if Granny doesn't like it now, she'll get used to it. Call her what you wanted to call her.

Original poster

Twittwooo · 26/02/2012 17:15

Thanks ladies - our plan was to do exactly as you have all done but we found it too difficult when people asked directly! We still haven't decided for sure, but the name in question in Edith, Edie as a nickname. I don't think the reaction will stop us from using it if it is the name we finally decide on, we're just irritated at her lack of tact!

OP posts:

sillymillyb · 26/02/2012 17:27

Im currently 36weeks and have told my mum and best friend some off my list.... my mum cant keep quiet though... which was demonstrated when her neighbour stopped my car to tell me she didn't like my (at the time) first choice as it reminded her of a dog.

Im keeping shtum from now on!

melika · 26/02/2012 17:28

I wouldn't in case anyone nicks them.

Bigteadrinker · 26/02/2012 17:58

I think Edith and Edie are lovely, I would def go for it myself but it sounds too much like my first DDs name. It is hard when people ask directly, only my aunt asked 'have you thought of names?' I just said yes, we have a few ideas.. Also secon the people nicking them thing!

Original poster

Twittwooo · 26/02/2012 18:52

I think we'll keep shtum from now on too sillymillyb!
The thing is, MIL said at one point, "I thought you would have gone for something traditional like Grace or Flora or something similar" and to me, Edith in in a similar vein to those!
Thanks Bigteadrinker, all of the friends I have told have said they like the name too so I'm not that bothered really. it's so hard when people ask directly. I have used the same response as you, but then people look at you waiting to hear more and I cave in! I need to be stronger ... x

OP posts:

scottishmummy · 26/02/2012 18:57

no,didn't disclose names.only me and dh knew
we chose months in advance and kept schtum

StetsonsAreCool · 26/02/2012 19:06

We did tell people the shortlist - about 5 names altogether. Told in a different order each time. A couple of names we had absolutely no intention of using, but it's nice to mix it up, and keep people guessing

Dontforgetthesoreendoreen · 26/02/2012 20:16

Only with my mum and sisters. Who I knew would give honest feedback without being tactless.

threecurrantbuns · 26/02/2012 20:25

It's hard not to but I try as a don't really want certain people's opinions (mIl)

I like to keep it as a bit of a surprise for the birth announcement.

And if it's something that isn't overly popular I worry someone due just before me will use it.

I'm so glad we didn't disclose our last dcs name before birth as I had never met one around here, then after using it 3more have arrived at my regular playgroups. It's a positive about the name but was still a bit hmph about it :)

IslaValargeone · 26/02/2012 20:28

We didn't volunteer any info, but when asked we let slip one or two. Always received quite negatively, but we didn't give a rodent's bottom and went with what we wanted.

Pyrrah · 26/02/2012 21:56

We had definites rather than a shortlist so we told everyone what they were as soon as we told them I was pregnant.

We loved the names so didn't care if others didn't plus it meant if any close friends used the names we couldn't be accused of stealing (a lot of us were pregnant at the same time).

rhibutterfly · 26/02/2012 22:00

i made the mistake of putting a shortlist on MN and got shot down in flames lol i'm thick skinned. i had an aunty edith NN edie she was a lovely lovely woman so very fond of the name:)

scottishmummy · 26/02/2012 22:17

only put names on mn if you want honest opinion
not this how very dare you say kaylor Leigh isn't a priddy name. and then go huff

rhibutterfly · 26/02/2012 22:21

i know that now it was the very first time i'd been on MN and hadn't read any threads before i came across the shortlist bit, but like you said did want honest answers and have gone back to the drawing board, no huffing used:)

scottishmummy · 26/02/2012 22:25

it can be brutally frank on names threads
but then I've seen some ghastly names too
so in sense posters probably saying what others would think in real life

Italiangreyhound · 27/02/2012 01:25

I did tell a few people and one person had the same name as me, their child was born first but I do genuinely think they also thought of it independently of me, which is kind of why I told them. The best way I can describe it is if me and a friend both watched the movie 'ET' and then went away and wanted to call our sons Elliott! I kind of knew we were both thinking of the same name and she was 6 weeks ahead of me!

BUT generally, I would not tell people and would not worry about your MIL. Once little baby is out she will be so excited by the baby she will not mind the name. My auntie said DD's name was odd/unusual etc and now she likes it! They will come round and it is YOUR decision so go with your own mind. Edith is a beautiful name.

Puremince · 27/02/2012 08:32

Absolutely not! It would have been asking for trouble.

Edith is lovely!

melika · 27/02/2012 09:49

Sorry not keen on Edith. Reminds me of a very old lady.

HardCheese · 27/02/2012 10:12

My policy is to tell no one anything - other than try to prepare my very 'Whatever you do, don't stand out from the crowd' parents for a name they will consider weird, and to make it plain we're giving our baby a name they will never have heard before and probably find pretentious. They would prefer a reassuringly ordinary Irish boy's name of the kind I find tiresomely generic - lovely names in themselves, but we don't know whether our son is likely to grow up in Ireland or not at the this point, and I don't want him to have the same experience I did, of being one of Six or Eight Very Ordinary Irish Names in a classroom.

I love Edith and Edie - a good friend's adorable daughter has that name.

Dillydollydaydream · 27/02/2012 17:52

It took me 2 dc before i stopped telling them out short list!
When we had dc3 we found out the sex but didn't tell anyone then chose a name. When people asked about names we were very vague and just gave a top 10 name for each sex. We had so much 'input' from relatives with our first 2 that we learnt to keep te name to ourselves.

NinthWave · 27/02/2012 17:54

We didn't even give hints at to either of our DS's names before they were born. I wasn't remotely interested in anyone else's opinions, and thought they'd be far too polite to make comments after they were born - I was right, thankfully!

chocoroo · 27/02/2012 18:01

We kind of shared the type of names we liked and ones we definitely didn't buy didn't share our shortlist. We have told some people the other name's which didn't quite make it so I'm not sure if we'll use them if we had another, we probably will.

I do like Edith and Edie though - Edith is DD's middle name and we've actually had more surprised comments at that than her first name which is much more unusual.

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