Etiquette for using family names

[scotjls]

My husband and I are bickering about middle names if we have a boy. I really like the idea of using my dad's christian name as a middle name. It's a nice name and it means a wee bit of my family gets passed on, since all of our children will carry his family surname. Husband insists that we can't use my dad's name without offending his dad, so he says we should use either both dad's christian names (2 middle names), or neither. His dad is not especially sensitive and I cannot imagine anyone getting upset because their name wasn't used and someone else's was. Husband also thinks my argument that all our children will carry his surname is invalid, because it's not 'personal'.

Does anyone have any opinions or similar experiences? Thanks.

Our babies are having my husbands surname so middle names from my family.

All three of mine have three names plus surnames. They are all family names from both sides of the family. My first has the name of a beloved family member and both fathers name. The other two are grandfather, greatgrandfathers, uncles, great uncles, cousins names etc. My third's first name is actually his great, great grandmothers surname.

DS's middle name is my dad's and was DH's late grandad's on his mum's side. We both really liked the name anyway, and it was lovely that it meant we could honour someone on both sides of the family. Would like to use another family name for any future DC's middle name, but don't think we'll be lucky enough to find one we like that's on both sides again. Really don't think anyone will be offended though as no-one in either of our families is like that (as far as I know!)

BTW FIl wasn't at all put out that his first name wasn't used. Think he was really pleased that his surname was being passed on, and this was something that was very important to DH's other grandad - was the first of his 16 great-grandchildren to share his surname.

My dd has family names and they are balanced. She is named after dh's paternal grandmother and my maternal grandmother. dh wanted his gran's name, I liked the name (and her, she was a funny old bird) and then thought that it would be nice to honour my favourite grandmother too, and as we both liked that name and it worked we went for it.

Ironically neither dh's father nor my mother were pleased!

ds is named after a historical figure that dh and I think its very cool and then his middle name though went well with it. If dd had been the ds we were expecting none of the names we were planning had family significance either.

I think that parents shoudl primarily pick names they like.

My dd has my stepfather's surname as her middle name. It's a name that works as a girls name, and he died whilst I was pregnant and was an all round bloody good chap, so I wanted a way of connecting her and him.

Very sadly, my mum has also died since then so I guess my next child will get her name as a middle name, boy or girl!

DS just has my dad's as a mn.

For a future girl we've chosen DH's grandmother's name, with a form of my mom's for the middle.

I can actually see your husband's point. I would have both.

We decided to use my dad's name as a middle name. Rationale was that our son was already carrying his father's line through his surname!

Still, that saddles us with a Lawrence for the second son as there's no excuse this time!

Count yourself lucky it's John on the cards, OP. DH wants any future DS to have FIL's name as an mn -Keith!