'Stealing' DP's eldest DS's middle name.... Thoughts please???

[Cactus76]

DP has two boys from a previous marriage. We are expecting our first child together (don't know if is a boy or girl) at the beginning of March. We both REALLY like his DS1's (age 6) middle name. If it hadn't already been used, it would definitely be top of my boys' names list.

DP thinks we should use the name and that it would be totally ok. I feel odd about it as it seems to me that the name belongs to DS1 even though it is only his middle name. I am also concerned about the reaction from is ex and her side of the family, not that we ever see each other....

What are your thoughts? Is it weird to steal/hijack his son's middle name? Or am I just over thinking it?

Thank you!

if they were full brothers, that would be one thing, and imo a bit weird but probably wouldn't cause too much bad feeling, but for a half-brother, smacks far too much of 'new and improved' ds (from pov of your dh's existing ds). of course that might not be the case - you'd have to ask him and see what he thought

My DSs are half brothers and I wouldn't dream of using a name that had been used already.
Names are generally a compromise-just find another.

I have half, step and adopted siblings. I think this would be a terrible idea, sorry.

I think your DHs ex will think you're being terribly unoriginal. And she may be upset by it. Your step DS may be upset by it too.

And there are hundreds and thousands of other names out there that you could pick instead....you must like some others surely?

When dh and I married I was in my early 40s and widowed we would have liked a child together and had at least one 'ooh I might be' moment and we discussed names.Dh's eldest son is named after dh but uses a shortened form [as does dh]I love the name and suggested the full name for a potential new ds.Dss went berserk!!he was 19 and you would think we had suggested disowning him and cuttig off all contact.We quickly withdrew the suggestion.Your dss may grow up to harbour resentment and he will need a lot of help anyway to feel completely comfortable with a new brother.

Thanks for all of your feedback. Most of you seem to agree with me that it might be odd.

Frustratingly, the name was top of my list when I had my first DS, but my ex-DH totally and utterly vetoed it. I would prefer it if DP had used the name as his DS's first name, so that I could completely delete it from my thoughts....

We have discussed talking to DP's ex to see how she feels. She might not give a monkeys or might feel really strongly that we shouldn't. With regard to discussing it with DP's DS, he is only 6 and is also on the autistic spectrum and is struggling to understand the concept of baby at all (bless him, he thinks that it lives in his own tummy and has no understanding of my own rapidly expanding girth). The abstract concept of sharing his middle name would be too much for him to get his head around. I'm not sure he will ever feel that strongly about the idea as it is not a tangible concept. Not that I would use this a reason to go ahead and use the name......

Grrrrr, I know that there are SO many boys names out there to choose from, but I am genuinely struggling to find another one I like. I have trawled the MN posts endlessly for inspiration and draw a blank every time!

All names are always a compromise-on my own all 3 would have had different names.

One of our first choices was taken by my brother and we thought it would be too confusing to have cousins a few months apart with the same name. Lots of people have similar problems-just keep looking.

Call the boy Henry instead.
There we are. Job done