Husband procrastinating when choosing a baby girl name!

[heartmoonshadow]

What I want to know is how did you/do you jog on your other half to help name your child. I have three or four which I like Seren, Beatrice, Erin and Emilia but he does not want to hear my choices as he wants to think for himself! But I am getting frustrated as I feel it is a joint decision and even if he doesn't like my names he should at least be open to hearing them!

I am 24 weeks pregnant so we have plenty of time but by 16 weeks when I was pregnant with DS we had a name for each sex picked out but this time he doesn't seem bothered in fact refused to think until we knew sex which we have for 4 weeks.

Any tips for getting my own way?

My DP did this and it infuriated me. By the time I was 39 weeks and he still refused to discuss it I told him what our ds/dd would be called. In the end we compromised on the name to something similar which he prefered. You have loads of time. We didn't have a name for ds until he was 10 days old .

Yes, it should be a joint decision. Definitely shouldn't be about either of you "getting your own way". I can't see how you can reach a compromise or joint decision without listening to each other's names though. What names does your DH suggest? If he wants to "think for himself" then how about you both put forward your top 10 names, on the same day, and go through the list seeing if there are any similarities there?

I understand anothermincepie but he has trawled baby book names and has not given me any ideas about what he is thinking just annoying really or could be my hormones.

Why not use the girls name you had picked out before?

It's frustrating but you've got ages yet. Maybe wait to meet her before you decide.

If there's a tip for getting your own way then someone please tell it me. I'm 39 weeks and we still can't find a name. I've resigned myself to the fact that whatever name we pick, it'll be a name I don't like as he's dismissed every single name on my list. It sounds silly but it's got to the point where it's making me really depressed. I feel like i can't look forward to her arrival IYSWIM. I always knew it was going to come down to one of us 'winning' and that I'd be the one to give in and I was right.

Good luck with your search, hope you have better luck.

My DH just can't be serious! The only names he has come up with are absolutely ridiculous or are completely made up or the female equivalent of his name. It was really funny to begin with but now at 20 weeks in its still the same. So frustrating! I've now told him if it doesn't stop we'll be using the same kinda of 'democracy' we used whilst planning our wedding. He gets one vote and I get two.....

Give him a deadline and make clear that you won't want to be discussing it after a certain stage.

I'm encouraging DP to write his own list without knowing mine, as I want to know what his own thoughts are, without distraction and, that gives us a more even basis for discussion than letting him comment on mine first, then come up with his own. The fear there is that he won't like any of my carefully thought out names, then will have free rein to embark on his own list while I'm on distant second choices. This way, his suggestions will up for discussion with mine, mine will be better (unless he comes up with something surprising) and we'll both have time to reconcile ourselves gradually to the resulting choices.

The old EMCS and ensuing panic got me my own way

GwendolineMLwB I got my own way only minutes after finding out DD was a girl upon delivery. After discovering that she was indeed a girl, they asked whether we had a name chosen and I said "name 1". Then I turned to DH and said "is that ok?" knowing he preferred name 2, but he was too besotted by his daughter and bowled over by my giving birth (his words) to argue.

That being said, I do feel obliged to let DH have the final say on the name for DC2 when it arrives in March. Thats partly why if DC2 is a boy he will have the middle name of Barney

Gwendoline my friend says that straight after birth turning over and saying awwww doesnt she/he look like xx works perfectly each time she did it (she says she allowed her dh to pick the last one as she felt guilty)

Loads of time yet. I was still umming and ahhhing walking up the registrar's path - 5 weeks and 5 days after ds2 was born. And I thought then (and still think) that I don't like his second name, I even burst into tears while we were there and she gave us a bit more time - but we had to do it there and then as there weren't any more appointments left for us to do it in legal limits.

As for your dp - if he's anything like mine, Asking him more and more will have the effect of slowing him down rather than speeding him up... So give him one more ultimatum explanation of the way you are feeling and tell him it will be the last, then go ahead and choose the name yourself leave it to see if he comes up with something. Also maybe he feels this time there is a reason for not choosing so early - maybe he didn't like having the name so early last time that he is deliberately trying to not do that this time without telling you and hurting your feelings whilst trying to protect his own...

At last I have managed to pin DH down I told him to do a list by midnight tonight as it is New Years Eve, he has just done one and and he has 2 of my four names on his list two so now it is a choice between Erin and Emilia hurrah we seem to be making progress!

I don't know if you're actually asking for opinions, but although I like both names, I prefer Erin. Emilia is one of those names that I think should either be Emily or Amelia, doesn't feel quite complete on its own, if that makes sense! It is quite a pretty hybrid though.

A vote for Emilia here :)