Anyone else been through similar?

[moonunit2011]

I have a lovely 4 month old DS2. Throughout the pregnancy we struggled with boys names finding faults with every name on our list. I did the classic over-thinking and ended up binning the name I have always loved due to a silly comment. We had a shortlist of 3 when I gave birth but it then took us 3 weeks to decide on one. The name we picked is a lovely classic name, however my husband and various family members had to convince me to use it as I really don't think it goes with our surname (gives him same initials - I've never liked same initials, has always bugged me for some reason).

When we finally announced the name a close family member told us they think it sounds bad with our surname and thinks I might regret it. I was so upset. I just wanted to give my boy a lovely flowing name which would look great with our difficult surname and I feel like I've let him down.

To make matters worse I've just found out that my favourite name which I binned was the name of my Great Grandfather who was a bit of a war hero. Now I'm coming out of the pregnancy/post labour thick fog (which made me unable to make any big decisions) I'm starting to kick myself that I didn't call him this special name. The thought of changing his name and having to announce it fills me with dread though - I would be so embarrassed.

Has anyone else felt like this after naming a child? I feel like such an idiot as I have a gorgeous healthy boy but this name issue takes up my every thought and I so wish it would disappear. We are not having any more children so couldn't use the name again. I know I have to move on and just be grateful for what I have.

YANBU, i would say change it if it makes you unhappy!! i believe you can still amend a birth certificate but there is a time limit, and any comments that are made should be met with - our baby our decision, but as you thought that the first name sounded so bad this should be welcome news! Such a shame though that you have been put in this position by thoughtless comments from those close to you. We never had this issue, we always knew what we would call our ds, but there was time after he was born that i wondered if it suited him, if it was right, it was the name i wanted for my first ds but xdh wouldnt let me use it, so i knew if me and new dh had a boy he would have that name, you have said that you may not have another chance to use the name, but that is just imo!

Ah, I think same initials are great! Marilyn Monroe, Brigitte Bardot, James Joyce...

Whoever the close family member was that said it didn't go well and you might regret it was an arse. That's so unbelievably rude and ill-mannered that I'd completely ignore their opinion on the basis that they're an ill-bred buffoon.

As for changing his name, well, you can do it - there have been a few threads on here where people have done it. But I suspect you've actually given your DS a lovely name, and you're putting way too much pressure on yourself worrying about it.

Does your DS have a middle name? You could make his middle name the name you really like, and then call DS that name.

I know a couple of people who are known by their middle name rather than their first name.

Doesn't seem such a dramatic u turn or like you are giving in to (rude) relatives.

CHANGE IT.

Change it NOW.

Another four months down the line, everyone will have totally accepted the new name and forgotten the old. A few weeks' raised eyebrows, yes- but worth it, he will carry his name for a lifetime!

You may really regret it if you don't. Go for it.

Go with your gut feeling (so I suspect, change it). Don't worry about being embarrassed - you will be for a little while (ie when you tell everyone) and, no doubt, for about 10 minutes people will think things along the lines of "how odd, they've changed his name". But.....a few days of embarrassment are a small price for having the name you love.

Thanks for the comments. I could shoe-horn it in as a 2nd middle - guess that is an option. The current middle name was put in there as it goes well with our surname even though neither of us particularly love it and it's not a family name or anything.

My DH worries that if we go ahead with a change I may still not be happy and might worry that I've taken away a name which he has already started to grow into.

I am usually a very decisive person until it comes to naming children! It's such a huge responsibility! Those pregnancy hormones do something odd to my brain! My family are not that supportive - some rather judgemental - and wouldn't understand. I know they would bring the story up for years to come just for their own amusement.

Perhaps I should try calling him the new name for a week or so to make 100% sure it's right.

We went through similar. We called dd2 a name which we loved during the pregnancy but when we announced it people didn't 'get' it (even though it is a perfectly real name - it has pronunciation issues). The result was that I wanted to change it for a long time, and I know what you mean when you say it takes over your every thought - I was obsessed and really unhappy for ages. In the end we didn't change it, and I don't regret that now, but I think the circumstances were different as the negative pressure for us was from other people - yours is from you. I think in your shoes I would change it, but I understand about feeling embarrassed announcing the change - that's one of the things I was scared of. He is only 4m though, so still really young and in 6 months time people won't even remember. Good luck.

I changed DS's name when he was 5 months old. I was worried about how people would react but no-one seemed fazed by it at all, and just started using the new name. Most seem to have completely forgotten about the original name now. We added the new name to the front so the original name is now his 2nd name (2 middle names now). I felt a huge relief when we changed it and just wished I had done it sooner instead of worrying about what other people would think

I just came on to say the exact same thing as maggy76! Seriously, my story is exactly the same except it was my DD not a DS!

I have an adult friend who changed his name to something very very different. There were a few faces but a year down the line no one bats an eyelid and I never think of him as "old name". People will very quickly get used to your sons new name. I would go for it.

It's good to know others have been through similar. I was feeling like I'm the only person in the universe this has ever happened to if you know what I mean. I personally don't know anyone who has done this.

It's taking over my thoughts and spoiling Xmas the fun I should be having with my lovely family which seems so ridiculous. My HV did mention that the indecisiveness could be a symptom of PND but I'm not sure as everything else is going really well.

A friend in my nct group changed her ds name when he was 8mo. I only called him the old name a couple of times by mistake and since then he has always been new name :)

My friend changed her DS's name last year when he was 8 months. It was a surprise and took a few months to get used to the new name but we are all used to it now and never think of the original name.

Don't regret it forever, change it while he is still tiny. If anyone comments just say what you said here, you were in a bit of a fog and realise you made a mistake.