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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

To tell or not to tell?

19 replies

rendesr · 06/12/2011 03:27

Whats the general consensus on telling people the anticipated name before the baby arrives? I'm leaning towards the keeping it quiet, because everyone I seem to mention the short list of names we have, makes negative comments :(

OP posts:

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sleepevader · 06/12/2011 03:53

Keep quiet- no one (except very rude people) comment negatively about a name when baby here

sleepatlast · 06/12/2011 04:01

Keep quiet. I changed my mind at week 38 but whole family had been referring to ds by his name I didn't feel I could change it.

JamieComeHome · 06/12/2011 05:34

keep quiet.

Only very rude people will comment once they baby is born, whereas if you get bad reactions now, it'll put you off.

Also, you may look at the baby and change your mind

JamieComeHome · 06/12/2011 05:35

ooops. Realise I have said exactly the same as the two posters above

nooka · 06/12/2011 05:37

Tell after the baby is born. I think it's nice to introduce your child to the world by name and have that as a surprise. Plus avoids all the will they / won't they like it stress with family, friends etc.

mopsyflopsy · 06/12/2011 07:07

Depends WHO - we only asked those whose opinions we trust and whose tastes we share. We got some helpful feedback.

deemented · 06/12/2011 07:10

When i was having DS3 i told my frieds the name we'd chosen and they all laughed - i was devestated, and didn't use that name.

This time when people ask we've told them very outlandish names that shut them up.

They will be told baby's name when he or she is born.

mumatron · 06/12/2011 07:44

With ds we picked a name and told both families, by the time he came I wanted a different name but it felt weird changing it.

With both dd's I kept it to myself until I was sure that I wanted to keep the names.

scarlettlips · 06/12/2011 08:53

Don't mention it...if you bring it up, people ie. family, will think they also have a right to comment also. Also if you change your name...total stuffed!

LennyGodber · 06/12/2011 10:11

It depends...I know someone who chose a name that gave very unfortunate initials - when they announced they got "you're joking?" type responses and realised they needed to pick something else. If they'd run it past just one person before baby was born it would have been a lot less stressful for them.

junglebums · 06/12/2011 10:21

I didn't tell, but my MIL kept saying 'Is it X? I bet It's X, isn't it?' on repeat until I wish we'd just said what it was. Made the big reveal a bit pointless.

Next time I'll still try to keep it under wraps but may have to baffle MIL by choosing something more obscure.

AnotherMincepie · 06/12/2011 10:25

Not tell!

Kveta · 06/12/2011 10:28

don't tell!

or if you do, tell them some ridiculous made up names that you would never use. just for fun :o we almost convinced my sister that DS was going to be called Herod, and her reaction was brilliant :o

but still, don't tell - your baby may arrive and look nothing like the name you've chosen, and it's easier to tell people the name of a child you've met than of an unknown baby! Plus they are much less judgy once the baby is born. (in theory at least)

Everlong · 06/12/2011 10:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SarahSlaughter · 06/12/2011 10:47

I'm another one for don't tell. If you tell people in advance esp family they seem to think it means you want their approval and therefore feel free not to give it!

We had twins and therefore had to pick 4 sets of names. It took us long enough to pick them - no way was I giving anyone the opportunity to be rude about them!

Montsti · 06/12/2011 11:32

Don't tell! I am going to tell a few people but only because we're planning on using my sister's name and want to run it past her and my mum first...(they both said ok in the past but now I'm actually having a girl it is a reality!)....I know I'm going to get a lot of, "Oh but isn't that your sister's name so why are you using it etc..?" or general horrible comments....

We didn't tell anyone DS's chosen name even though we chose it when I was 12 weeks pregnant!

shouldnotbehere · 06/12/2011 12:05

Some friends are telling. It's a lovely name they have chosen, but personally I would keep shtum. Just in case you change your mind, or have negative feedback.

DizzyCow63 · 06/12/2011 12:08

I regretted telling with DS as I got very negative comments from DSis and SIL, which I still think of everytime I see them!

MitroChristmasEve · 06/12/2011 12:30

I'm with the don't tell brigade, but by god you do have to field some wacky name suggestions from friends and relatives who are trying to help.

We hadn't firmly decided the name when DC was born, and tried one from our short list when our baby arrived. In retrospect, it would have been lovely to have a firm choice to welcome the baby. (We had a definite name for the other gender, so we felt a bit bad that we hadn't managed to decide).

Within a day we were happy that the first name suited the baby, but were still a bit unsure about middle name. My mum suggested one we had ruled out (already a family member's name) and it was perfect.

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