DH is insisting...

[birdofthenorth]

That if bean is a boy, either his first name is Thomas after DH's grandad, or his middle name is Keith after DH's dad, and I get more leeway on the first name.

Thomas is ok but insanely popular. I do like Tommy though, but I've always hoped to avoid ridiculously popular names.

Keith is just awful and goes with nothing, although FIL is lovely and would be over the moon (grandad Tom is dead, so would be less thrilled, though I suppose FIL would like that too).

WWYD?!

What Grumpla said. He can't insist on anything. DH has finally said I can have the name I want for DD2 as I'm doing all the work but I know he doesn't like it so I couldn't do that to him. I'd never insist on a name.

Negotiation is the name of the game :)

Well out of your list of names, I think some of them sound good with Keith

Alistair Keith
Henry Keith
Angus Keith

All strong, solid names imo, particularly like Alistair

Alistair is my dad's mn so that really would keep everyone happy. I like it but don't LOVE it... but it does flow ok with Keith!

Well, just pick a name you like, ignore the middle name - how often will anyone say the middle name? Honestly, think back to the last month, how many times have you been called by your first and middle name? Think of the people you consider to be close friends, do you even know all their middle names? For instance, I don't think I know the middle names of my old house mates. I know my bridesmaid has 2 middle names, but I can only remember one of them, and that's because it's the same as one of our other friend's first name...

Pick any name you love, it doesn't matter what the middle name is and if it goes. you can always just register the boy with a different middle name if you really want

Ah, you have a list!

I like Angus best from your list. Angus Keith or Angus Thomas Keith is good.

Hmm, about the 'insisting' - you don't need to 'try' and make the point - there is no insisting - you simply say No to the name you don't want, as does he. He does not get to insist on any particular name - it just does not happen.

A serious point, even though you say he's a bit tongue in cheek - no insisting - it's a fine way to ruin what should be a really fun process - and trying to push a name that your partner doesn't want is a sure fire way to cause bad feeling. And if it is successful, a possible way to end up back at the registrar's a year later in tears, changing your child's name because your other half never did 'get used to it' (a fairly recent thread if I recall!)

Ooooh, Angus Thomas Keith is good - it softens the Keith, and your DH gets what he wants. You could keep that on the back burner for now, just go with Angus Keith in your discussions, let him meet Angus, then when it comes to registering, say you think you'd like to add Thomas in as well. If you say it now, he might push for Thomas Angus Keith, which you don't want... (Once you've named your boy, he'll be the name you pick and that will be that)

You of course realise after all this, you'll get your agreed name sorted, and you'll have a girl...

Agree, Angus Thomas Keith does sound good. Also like Alistair Thomas Keith.

I think with the exception of Caleb and Jude all those names would work with Keith, depending on your surname. But then I quite like Keith (I have a good friend at work called Keith) it's just a bit out of synch because it was popular in the 70s (I wouldn't be at all surprised if our grandchildren ended up having Keith type names). It goes well with your more Scottish names. Adding the Thomas in too does de-emphasise the 'Keithness' :) Plus it means you use up all the family stuff and can if there is a next time start totally from fresh.

I think you just have to hope and pray for a girl :o

apparently Keith means 'woods', and Kenneth is similar, if that helps at all?!

What's wrong with Keith? It's much better than other names of that era - Barry, Malcolm, Roger etc. Much, much nicer than the incredibly dull Thomas too.

It is a very nice thing to let dh have some say on a name, but at the end of the day you will be squashing him out of your vagina. Tell dh he can insist all he likes but either choose something you both like or you pick.

I don't think either parent has a right to insist on a name that the other parent dislikes and I feel your dh should worry less about honouring his lineage and more about honouring his wife! This is your baby as much as his and you are doing more of the work to bring it into the world. I realise we are not in AIBU, so excuse the bluntness, but if my dh tried to insist on giving our child a name I didn't like, the words fuck and off would be used.

i;d tell my dh that if he managed to push a watermelon out of his arse, he can tell me what to call a baby. otherwise i;d tell him to get to fuck

I don't think the OP's DH is being unreasonable saying he would either like to pick the first name or the middle name. He's not insisting on picking both. Mum gets to pick one name and Dad gets to pick one name, what's unfair about that?

What's unfair is that he is imposing a choice of X or Y. The OP doesn't like either of these names. Why does he get to say that this is her choice, end of?

Much better imo, to have first and middle names that both partners like and agree to.