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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Am I being a snob?

41 replies

notlettingthefearshow · 27/08/2011 06:49

I've fallen in love with a boys' name which I have only just found out is in the top 20 for 2010. It's really put me off as I didn't want to know lots of other little boys with the same name.

It's not like I want to choose a really out-there name, but I grew up with a fairly unusual name and I have always liked being the only X in the class/group.

But am I just being a snob because the name is more 'common' than I thought? Would it bother you?

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Thumbwitch · 27/08/2011 07:04

popular does not equal "common" in the snobbish sense.
Some of the top 20 regulars in boys' names are stylish classics - so nothing snobby about either liking or disliking them, IMO.

My DS has a top 20 name - I didn't really think too much about it. I probably would have preferred it to be slightly less popular but I didn't think to check the stats before we decided on it. As it is, I don't know any other child of his age with the same name at the moment; so even if the stats say it is in the top 20, there are no guarantees that they will be in your area.

Poshbaggirl · 27/08/2011 07:06

Whats the name????

ThePosieParker · 27/08/2011 07:15

All mine have unusual names

comedaygoday · 27/08/2011 07:36

Choose the name you like. You could choose a more unusual name that you don't like as much and still find there's another child with that name in nursery of school.

KenDoddsDadsDog · 27/08/2011 07:41

Choose the name you like. A less common name doesn't make you a better person.
My name is pretty unusual but somehow, in an office of 12 people there are two of us! 15 years between us but both have Scandi links. And only one person of the other names which were top 10 in the 70s and 80s!

Catsu · 27/08/2011 07:43

My ds has the no 1 name (I picked it without checking how popular it is!) and despite having such a popular/common name he is at school now and has been the only one in his nursery and now the only one in his class with his name!
There are a couple of kids with same names as other children and they have much less common names!
If you love the name then go for it. After all it's top 20, not top 3 anyway!

FellatioNelson · 27/08/2011 07:44

Not a snob at all, no. And I think you are quite right to avoid any name, no matter how much you like it, if you are worried it will become over-popular. Some people are not worried at all by that, which is fine, but I would be so I don't blame you. If it was lower on the list in the previous couple of years then chances are it will be much higher by next year.

ripstheirthroatoutliveupstairs · 27/08/2011 07:59

You aren't being a snob per se. My DD has the most common name, I am sad but she is Ruby for better or worse.
Since there were only about 20 children registered the year she was born, I had nothing to compare it with and thought it was 'unusual'.

rachel1970 · 27/08/2011 08:26

It is not a question of snobness.

It is a question of personal taste. Personally I don't like popular names because the whole point of naming someone is to identify him or her.

Sirzy · 27/08/2011 08:31

It's not snobby but personally I don't understand why people worry about how many people may or may not have the same name.

National statistics don't give a clear picture of each area anyway. Ds has an apparently popular name yet i have only met one other!

Scaevola · 27/08/2011 08:42

I don't think it's snobbish (if you were, you'd be worrying which of the titled great-great uncles names to give).

But I do think you're being ridiculous. There is nothing inherently valuable in infrequent use of a name. Nor can you predict when a name will explode into popularity, or be used for a main soap character, or in a popular series of books, or by a TV talent show competitor.

And you can't predict who else in your area is likely to use a name. As I've sometimes come across pairings of very unusual names in the same school year, I think this happens quite a bit (even in thinking "rare" the zeitgeist still influences I guess). If you had really, really aimed for uniqueness, and that happened, would it be better or worse than choosing the name you really, really love and accepting others love it too?

PS: only way to ensure a unique name would be to invent one. Random word from dictionary, or experiment with Scrabble tiles, perhaps?

LydiaWickham · 27/08/2011 08:51

I don't think you are being snobbish, but then the likelyhood of other children in the class with the same name will depend on the area you live in. For instance, the year DS was born, his name is in the high 30s on the list and the name Edward is 44th. However, he is the only boy of his name we've met, yet there are 3 Edward's in this nursery class (out of 15 children) and I know another 2 Edwards who live in roughly the same area as us who may end up in the same class at school.

you pick a name 44th on the list you probably think it's not that 'common' but it just seems to be popular to this area.

Olivia was no.1 for that year for girls names, I've only met one Olivia round here.

If you live in a super middle class area, the best way to make sure your DS has a unique name is to either go for something made up or go for the no. 1 name as no one will want to pick that one!

LydiaWickham · 27/08/2011 08:54

Oh, but I do understand where you're coming from, I was one of 4 girls in my primary class with the same name. I hated it.

sparkle12mar08 · 27/08/2011 08:55

Ha, good luck with that OP. My son's name was not top twenty and there are three in his class. You can never really know unless you're going for something that's not even top 100.

BikeRunSki · 27/08/2011 08:55

My DS has a Top 20 name and I have never met another one his age.

exoticfruits · 27/08/2011 08:59

I think it really funny when a parent goes for an unusual name and then they get another in the same class!
I would just go for what you like. The ones in top 20 are generally classic names so you can't go wrong really.

FellatioNelson · 27/08/2011 09:10

A good rule of thumb is if eveyone reacts with horror when you run your choices by them, then you are pretty safe from the threat of imminent ubiquity! It takes most people about 5 years to get their head around an 'unusual' name. I think you need to decide the difference between 'unusual' and 'seldom used' though. Unusual can often been random made-up try-too-hard nonsense.

FellatioNelson · 27/08/2011 09:12

My chilren are all quite old now, (18, 16, 12) but I remember the look of utter bewilderment and horror on people's faces when I told them I liked Stanley, Hamish, Riley and Teddy. None of those would raise an eyebrow now.

TheSecondComing · 27/08/2011 09:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CurwySwide · 27/08/2011 09:37

My DS's name was in the top 20 when he was born. Although we knew it was statistically quite popular, we used it as we loved (and still love) it.

For us, any other name would have been second best, and the name we chose suits him perfectly.

As it happens, we have not met any other little boys of his age with the same name yet (though I know this may well change as he gets older and he mixes with more children through school etc.).

I would say go with the name you love - you may well end up regretting it if you chose a different name that you do not like so much, just because it is not quite so popular.

bigkidsdidit · 27/08/2011 09:45

my DS is an Albert - number 159 on the list last year and only 330 in the whole of Britain. There are 2 at his CM adn I've recently met another! You just can't tell - names are quite regional I think.

Original poster

notlettingthefearshow · 27/08/2011 16:45

Ah thanks everyone. I think loving the name is the most important thing regardless of whether everyone else loves/loathes it. As many people commented, you never know when a name is going to soar in popularity anyway.

My husband has a very common name for men his age and over the years I've probably met 50+ of them - even went out with 3 before meeting him! So maybe that's where the fear is coming from! Having said that, it doesn't bother him (although I have refrained from mentioning the 3 same-name exes!).

OP posts:

busterk · 27/08/2011 17:00

I believe that if you like the name that is all that is important. My daughter is Olivia. She is 5. When she was born I never knew any. Obviously according to statistics it is one of the most popular names. However, there is not another Olivia in her primary school which has about 160 children in it. So it does depend very much on where you stay.

mayanna123 · 27/08/2011 17:28

Nothing snobby about it at all imo.

I agree that we name things/people so that we can identify them. No point giving a person a name that is already used by thousands others imo - he/she will always need a modifier (e.g. little, big, or last initial) to identify him/her. I know so many adult Steves (and about 3 Steve Smiths!) that it sometimes gets confusing .

Last year there were 2 Jacks and 3 Harrys in ds's class (and two of the Harry's shared the same surname initial - which wasn't easy for them or the teacher).

So, no, nothing to do with snobism just common sense imo.

TrillianAstra · 27/08/2011 17:30

How common is "in the top 20"? Is it one child in 20, one child in 100, one child in 1000?

The chances of there being lots of children with the same name don't depend on the ranking but on the actual frequency.

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