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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Name remorse

17 replies

Loco35 · 26/05/2011 18:47

The recent thread from Ava's mum has made me post about my name regret. I know it is ridiculous and shallow but I'm in a real stew about it and keep wishing that I'd made (or forced) a different decision. I've got a Ruby, aged 4, and while I like the name, I've never loved it. It was basically a compromise as we couldn't agree on anything else. Now, I torture myself over what could have been and although I'm not bothered that it's popular, I do worry about it being 'common'. If it's the Sarah of the future, then good. But please not the Tracy. And, yes, I do realise how shallow that sounds but I can't help worrying that I've done her a disservice... PS I have a popular Sarah-ish name from the 70s and I've never minded being one of quite a few... I just fear that the name Ruby might label her or something.

OP posts:

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oohlaalaa · 26/05/2011 18:57

Oh Loco35, I've always loved the name Ruby. Does your DD like it?

Original poster

Loco35 · 26/05/2011 18:59

He feels the same as me really. That we rushed into it. We just both worry it's chavvy. It does suit her but I just don't want her to hate it when she's older.

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oohlaalaa · 26/05/2011 19:03

I don't think its chavvy, its not made up, or misspelt, it's a lovely traditional name, which has recently become very popular.

What is her middle name?

SingingSands · 26/05/2011 19:09

I think you are overthinking things. Ruby is not a "chav" name at all. And so what if there are a million other girls called Ruby? Why waste headspace worrying about it?

Original poster

Loco35 · 26/05/2011 19:14

The thing is, I don't feel I can change it or call her anything different - it's too late for that. I just don't know how to stop feeling like this. I realise how pathetic and trivial it sounds - I just worry so much that we've labelled her with a trendy name that she'll hate. As I said before, it's not the popularity of it that bothers me particularly...

OP posts:

GwendolineMaryLacey · 26/05/2011 19:25

I think it's fine, popular but not chavvy. I don't think I know any though.

CuppaTeaJanice · 26/05/2011 19:27

It's not chavvy, nor is it posh. It doesn't scream any particular type of person. It's just a nice, classic name that happens to be quite popular at the moment.

thisisyesterday · 26/05/2011 19:28

i like the name Ruby, it's not chavvy at all!

I kind of "forced" my decision for number 3. and you know what? it's really crappy knowing your child has a name that your partner really doesn't like that much :( I wish we had stuck with our compromise name now.

and also, if in the future Ruby really hates her name... she can change it! she can use her middle name if she has one... she can change it completely by deed poll.. I don't think you can worry right now about whether or not she will like it in the future.

Original poster

Loco35 · 26/05/2011 19:31

Thanks everyone. I do feel better and more than a little ridiculous. I've just got a real problem with it. To the point that I don't like calling her name out in public. And I would never admit that anywhere else! I need to get a grip and stop being so weird...

OP posts:

pilates · 26/05/2011 20:00

Ruby is not chavvy - its popular - there is a difference.

Its a great name BTW.

sleepingsowell · 26/05/2011 20:14

It's a shame you can't love it, Loco - I do!

The name Ruby makes me think of a slightly bohemian middle class daughter of parents who read the guardian and have walls of bookshelves in their house

Don't know why, it just does. It's also a strong, sassy but pretty name.

I think it's a brilliant name. One of my absolute faves.

I order you to start loving it right now and never be ashamed to call her by it

TheOriginalFAB · 26/05/2011 20:17

The only Ruby I know would be in her 90's now if she was still alive so I don't think you can really call it chavvy.

You can't change the name now so you need to stop thinking about it.

People have plenty of time to think of a name, I really don't understand this thing of thinking you had picked the wrong name months and years after the birth.

Original poster

Loco35 · 26/05/2011 21:04

You're right all. I'm an idiot. I need to stop being so shallow and creating things to worry about. To be honest, this is the only place I could ever admit to such thoughts which I guess it was MN is all about. I stand corrected!!

OP posts:

ShowOfHands · 26/05/2011 21:14

You're not an idiot at all. We all have things that we feel a bit rueful over where our children are concerned. Whether it's the method of their delivery, the way in which they were fed, the traits they have, the opportunities, the name etc. It's fine to feel these things as long as you can put them into some kind of perspective. I think when something upsets you, you magnify it and it's hard to see it for what it really is. Your child is so much more than the name you gave her and no it might not be the best decision you ever made but she isn't her name and out of all the things you give her it comes far down the list.

My Mum doesn't like my name and regrets letting my Dad choose. I wish I could make her understand that I don't mind in the slightest, that it doesn't matter. She gave me many more important things, love, care, attention, a lifelong relationship with her. And she got to give me a name because she wanted me enough to grow me, feed me and raise me. All so much more important and my name is just a useful label when sitting in a waiting room.

Feel sad, it's fine. You're no idiot, you're delightfully human. But don't let it rob you of the pleasure of shouting out her name and seeing her come running.

hulabula · 26/05/2011 21:15

Does she have a middle name that you love more?

olddeuteronomy · 26/05/2011 21:37

By definition, I think any name so high up the popularity charts is not going to be confined to a certain social demographic, it just demonstrates it has a wide appeal, therefore I don't think it is likely to seen as 'chavvy' or common. I know of a few Rubys (Rubies?) who would certainly not describe as such. It is a very pretty name anyway.

mich54321 · 26/05/2011 22:44

I loved a particular boy's name for years before I was pregnant. For some strange reason I didn't call DS this name. About 18 months after he was born I really wished I had called him the other name. But you know what, I now don't really like the original name and LOVE the name he has much better (maybe because I associate the name with him ?). Tastes change over time, names I now like I didn't a few years ago. ShowOfHands talks a lot of sense - just enjoy your DD and you will grow to love the name as you associate it with her. Ruby, whilst popular at the moment, is not chavvy - it isn't a made up name, spelt wrong, it is a lovely classic name.

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