How important is a middle name?

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I tend to go with the opinion that middle names are a little bit pointless. They rarely get mentioned after the initial new baby announcement so it doesn't matter too much what name you use.
For both my dcs I have used family names for their middle names. Not names I would ever have chosen as first names as i'm not keen enough on them, but names oc family members that we wanted to honour.

Am due dc3 who will be the first girl. There is only one person I'd want to honour enough to use her name as dc3s middle name. The name is v v old fashioned though and quite a bit further away from 'acceptable' name choice for me than my other dcs middle names though.

My choices seem to be to go with v old fashioned middle name that doesn't particularly go with first name because it has a special meaning
OR
go with a middle name that we like and that goes with first name but is not picked for any meaning and doesn't have much point to it iyswim

what do other people think?

I think middle names are important and picked my DDs with as much care as their first names. The only difference was that I picked pretty names I loved rather than pretty names that I loved and that had a nn that I also loved.

DD2's middle name was specially chosen to honour my dad, and DD1's is from my favourite book. I would never have chosen a name that belonged to a relative that was ugly. Remember that your DD will have to tell people her middle name.

I would go with the middle name with meaning & not worry about "matching" it with the first name.

So many people have odd middle names, & actually in adult life very few people will use or know your middle name (in my opinion - sure I give my names out to the bank etc, but nobody at work would know).

I know three people who chose to go by their middle name, as teenagers. Their parents went for the brave choice with first name, and the children didnt like it. They all preferred their middle name - think middle names like Ann, David and Laura.

I know some others who have unusual names, and love their names.

Both my DDs have 2 middle names, one from each side of the family, that are very meaningful to us and I hope when they get older we can tell them who they are named after and talk about them. I have been told by people that my DDs will hate us when they get older for giving them such 'weird' middle names as DH's mum's family is from Ukraine and so the DD's have Ukrainian middle names.

Well I have managed for 26 years without one!

I don't have a middle name and it used to really upset me when I was little as everyone else including my sister had one.

I'm with you and have never thought them very important either. As you say, they're barely mentioned after the birth announcement. That said, all three of mine do have them. Plus, as a genealogist, I've come to see their value. There's no way I would've managed to trace my family back to the 1770s if the Victorian lot hadn't had long fanciful middle names (mostly surnames of godparents).

How important is it to honour the person you mention? I've offered to use names from my side for two of my children but both times was told by my mum that she'd prefer we just chose names we liked. She hadn't hugely liked the names suggested anyway and thought it unimportant when there was nobody left alive who would particularly notice.

I don't think they're important at all to most people (once their initials don't spell something rude :-P). The exceptions are those who dislike their first name and start using their middle name as an alternative. If I was ever tempted to give a DC an 'alternative' first name I would definitely give them a really traddy middle name so that they had something to fall back on.

I think they're important and we've also picked family names. My brother has simply picked names that they like and that seems a bit pointless to me.

All of the boys in our family have the middle name 'Dean' after my Grandad - this includes my brother, 20, and my 3 cousins who range in age from 18 to 4 and my oldest cousins DS1 - this was the reason I chose 'Dean' for my DS middle name - lots of lovely family ties and a bond between my (only) then-teenage brother and the new baby. We did consider the name Lilly-Mai for a girl and I am so glad we didn't because (and no offense) it is so common now and has no family bearing at all.

In the future IF we did have another baby and it was a girl I would not think twice about giving her a middle name that was old but traditional such as my Nans name Phyllis or her mother Eleanor.

I think the names of Godparents is also lovely, I have my Godmothers name as my middle name and am very proud of that!

Good luck! Sx

I think a middle name is important. There are plenty of times in life when they are used and plenty of people ask middle names.

I have an ordinary, popular first name and a ridiculous middle name and I am embarrassed by it to this day. Every time I have to give it, I think - WTF were my parents thinking? I have given my children middle names that go with their first names and neither middle name has any family significance whatsoever.

I don't actually think middle names "honour" someone. First names might, but to use it as a middle name says "I really like this family member but they had a shit name so it'll have to be tucked away in the middle".