Bit of a dilemma

[pipparoo]

Need some advice...may be reacting irrationally due to hormones so bear with me!

I haven't shared my name choices with anyone in RL apart from close family. My pregnant friend was telling me her name ideas recently and said she was strongly considering a (fairly unusual) boys name which is at the top of our list. Cue initial paranoia that perhaps I had let it slip and she'd 'stolen' it. Soon got over this and put it down to coincidence.

Due to the fact that I failed to mention at the time that it's also our favourite, I now feel that if we do use it she'll think I 'stole' her idea. Do I mention it now? Our children are unlikely to go to the same school but will probably see quite a lot of each other.

TIA

I think you should talk to your partner and decide whether you are going to use this name or not. If not, then you don't need to do anything. If you are, then I would call her and say that you hadn't planned to tell anyone before the baby was born, but that you have spoken to your DP/DH and have decided that as she are considering the name you felt it was important that she should know you are going to be calling your son x (if you have a boy). Then you can talk about how you both feel about using the same name etc.

Thank you for your advice, chippingin. My DH wants to use the name, but like me thinks it may have taken the shine off it a bit. That's a very rational way of dealing with it, just need the guts to bring it up with my friend and not bury my head in the sand like usual!

How close friends are you?

Hi quackquack, we have recently been seeing more of each other since she became pregnant (she's 10 weeks behind me) but I wouldn't say we're massively close

Meet her for coffee and deal with it - now, before either of you has the baby and it becomes a big issue. You'll only keep stewing on it otherwise :) Let us know how you get on!

My mum said that one of her best friends used my name (Jane), and her daughter was born three weeks after. They have lost touch since, nothing to do with names, just mum's friend moved away with job.

This friend phoned my mum up, and said sorry but I have always loved the name Jane, and we'd chosen it years before (first child was a son). Mum agreed with her that it is a lovely e name, and that she didnt mind at all. Mum said she was actually delighted, that someone else loved the name.

I wouldnt worry about it.

I would mention it to her, get it out in the open. Although you can call your child whatever you like, people do get upset so best to let her know.

And tell us the name :)

You might want to consider that if it is fairly unusual but both you and her are considering it then it might be about to become much more popular (although this might not bother you).

If you are not that close I wouldn't worry about it and just tell her that it was already on your list next time you see her.