Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Flip

Original poster

Has anyone had name regret with older children? Did you snap out of it?

18 replies

LaWeasel · 17/05/2011 14:42

Naming DD was a big long row because DH and I didn't agree on anything. The first name she eventually got was chosen because it was the ONE name we both liked, though neither of us loved it particularly. I chose her middle name because we couldn't agree before registering and was the hormonal leaking just been through labour woman.

Anyway, DD is now 2 and we're talking about names for baby number two, and DH suddenly agrees with and likes all the names I had originally suggested for DD. I'm really (probably irrationally) CROSS that DD could have had a name I loved instead of one that was just okay, and I really want to change her name.

But I know because she is two and everyone is well used to her name it would be mean to change it just because, or to start calling her by her never used middle name.

Has anyone felt like this? Tell me it goes away!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

mayanna123 · 17/05/2011 14:45

Yes, it will go away, because your DD1 will become her name iyswim. I certainly wouldn't change a two year olds name because she knows her name and would be very confused if you were to change it.

Original poster

LaWeasel · 17/05/2011 15:17

I know. I definately won't change it.

I'm still anoyed at DH though!

OP posts:

bronze · 17/05/2011 15:20

Ds3 is 2 and though I am still bitter about his awkwardness about names meaning that ds got a liked name not a loved one when I think about calling him something else it feels wrong like I'm trying to change ds so I suspect that is the start of me getting over it
I would be digging at him all the time in your position. sympathy

JanMorrow · 17/05/2011 16:23

This nearly happened to me but I managed to persuade my fella of the charms of our chosen name!!

OhYeahOhRight · 17/05/2011 16:30

Oh God, I know exactly what you mean. DH fought me on every single name I suggested. He wouldnt give an inch. We finally picked one that was 'acceptable' to both of us but I can't say it's amazingly lovely and that I adore it.

I have to say, if he suddenly decided he liked them next time, I would revoke any input of his in choosing. I actually feel a bit cross on your behalf

agora1 · 18/05/2011 15:02

My husband did that too. The name we picked for DD1 really does suit her however and I can't imagine her being anything else now. I did get a name I love for DD2 (and one I'd suggested first time and he'd refused)

grubbalo · 18/05/2011 15:12

I know it's not quite the same thing, but I am currently pregnant with DC3 and there are several names I've suggested where DH has gone "what? that's horrible!" when I know for a fact they are names he suggested for DS1 or DS2! Obviously terrible memory!

I am sure you will grow to love your DD1's name, however annoying the situation seems now!

freesias · 18/05/2011 16:46

really interested in this thread as i feel exactly the same way as you and i know really understand how you feel. i would love to know how long it takes to grieve for get over a name .

dh was a pain in the backside no help when trying to choose a name for dd4 (14 months), vetoed everything i suggested , but refused to come up with any alternatives bar 2 one of which i loathed still do , one of which i can live with but have major issues with dislike the nn associated with it etc .
their was one name i loved call it x.

dh had begun to like it and said ok we'll call her x .until 2 days before her birth ,his parents for whom he normally bends over backwards said they liked it . it was the name they planned to use for one of his brothers had he been a girl . after this for some perverse reason he decided he disliked it . aagh

after weeks of rangling we registered her at the last moment with dh's favourite name (he refused to consider any alternatives )as her first , the mutual name as her second name and my fave as her third. when she was a few months old realising how i felt , i always called her the baby etc he agreed to use her second name , which is ok and i accepted it even though i feel sad that like you i only like it not love it and loathe it's nn . i really thought i'd given up on the name i loved . i thought i was "over it" and had accepted the name she now has because i love her.

last week when dh arrived home and announced that he'd met someone at work today called x and he really now think it's a lovely name and we should have used it for dd4. to say i could have strung him up is an understatement , i was literally heartbroken ,the name would suit dd down to the ground she looks like one feels like one etc but i know we can't change her name again and if we were to have another girl i really don't think we could use it again as i feel it's her name iyswim . i'm really tempted to use name x as my pet name for her as it's probably infinitely better than continuining to call her little one or petal but really not sure that's fair on her . i also secretly hope when she's older dd may decide she wants to be x over the others , although i know this is highly unlikely .

freesias · 18/05/2011 16:48

sorry for the long rant post

Original poster

LaWeasel · 19/05/2011 11:51

I do feel a bit better about it today. But I feel all your pain! Stupid bloody fathers getting a say !

OP posts:

Carrotsandcelery · 19/05/2011 12:02

freesias, I have seen your posts before - I think you should just call your dd the name you wanted. It will stick in no time at all.

I went to school with a boy who went by his middle name all the time and no one had a problem with it.

I also taught a girl who changed her own name mid primary school and everyone got used to it very very quickly. Her original name just wasn't her. I knew her all this time but didn't teach her until secondary and the name she chose for herself suited her perfectly.

You have the right to LOVE your child's name and to want to call her by her name rather than any nickname you come up with at the time.

Sorry Weasel for the hijack but I really feel for freesias.

wheniwishuponastar · 19/05/2011 12:03

freeias: i really want to know what all the names are that you mentioned!

nokissymum · 19/05/2011 12:19

Yes please by all means change her name if you want to, it's not too late, my goddaughter changed her name when she was 4! her parents didn't like the meaning of her first name. She is now 16 an none of her peers know her by the previous name, only very close family.

freesias · 19/05/2011 12:34

thanks carrotsandcelery , i'm not going to force a name change on dh or other dc's but have decided i will use the name i love (cecily) as my pet name for her infinitely better than petal or baby . with any luck it will stick. yesterday when i used it for her for the first time she immediately came to me and clapped her hands [happy], despite the fact i haven't used it for her in nearly a year

weasel i can definitely agree with your sentiments "bloody husbands" where's a fire breathing dragon motif when you need one

wheniwish i've been clogging up mumsnet threads with the three names in fact so much so that people are saying their the next big thing on another thread. so here goes felicity dh's choice , arabella the name dc's and dh now use cecily the name i would have loved to use .

sorry weasel for the hijack .

Original poster

LaWeasel · 19/05/2011 12:38

No problem, Cecily is a beautiful name, glad she likes it

OP posts:

hester · 19/05/2011 12:38

We went for a compromise name, too. It's fine, but since I was pg every jeffing woman and her dog have got in on the act, and it is frequently now cited on MN as one of those names you can't use because it's at saturation point. There are 3 just in my street! So yes, I do regret it, but dd is now 5 so it won't be changed and I have resigned myself to living with it.

But get this for annoying: my mum lobbied fpassionately or a particular name for both her sons, but my dad held firm and absolutely refused to use it. Then he runs off with another woman, makes her pregnant, and calls the child - yes, you guessed it.

feckwit · 19/05/2011 12:42

I did for a while, we called our eldest the most popular name of the year and I spent a few years really regretting it. I would read forums like this and people would say "Oh I wouldn't use the name xxxxx as it is so popular". But you know what? She's never been in class with another person with her name! DESPITE it being the number one name. I think personally, that a much wider variety of names these days are used, so to be number 1, there maybe are not so many children with a name as for example, 20 years ago?

sluttysbrawearer · 19/05/2011 12:54

I'm the other way round. Dh wanted a particular name for ds1. I didn't like it at all. We ended up with one of them most popular names of the year (and unbeknown to us my cousin, who was pregnant at the same time, had chosen the same names - luckily she had a girl!). He suggested it again for ds2 and I said yes straightaway - I can't explain why I'd changed my mind.

As it is, both ds1 and ds2 go by nicknames/shortenings they/their friends came up with. The shortening ds2 uses (and he's refused to use his long name since he was 4 or 5) works for several names, and his long name is not the most common one people think he's called something else anyway

Flip