What should I do about my dilemma?

[PercyPigs]

DD1 is due in two weeks, and we were struggling to find a name that we both loved, but eventually came across Darcy, which we both adored. We didn't tell anyone this, in case we changed out minds. Problem is, my best friend had her baby three days ago, and has named her Darcy! Obviously, we can't blame her or say she has 'stolen' our name, as it isn't her fault because we didn't tell anyone, but I can't help feeling a bit deflated that I won't be able to use my favourite name. I don't want to make my best friend change it, as she has done nothing wrong, but we can't find another name we like as much as Darcy! DH says we should just use it, but I don't want my daughter and her friend having the same name, especially as we have surnames that start with the same letter, and these girls will be in the same school and be close friends I expect. Please help me! I don't know what to do!

No bright ideas but poor you! If you expect to stay geographically close - same school etc - then I think you're right not to give her the same name.

that is a shame :(

in your shoes I would have to choose an alternative, as it would seem a bit odd if you are likely to be friends and the girls at school together etc. And I would hate people thinking I had copied my friend (probably more my issue that I care too much of others' opinions of me though).

What were you thinking as a MN, can you swap them round?

Oh no!!! If it were me I'd use it anyway It's a name that you both love, and had chosen long before she had her DD, yes they may or may not go to school together, but a lot can happen in four years!

This happened to my mother. She changed the name. 36 years later, she is pleased she did as she is still friends with the other mother and the two girls are both friends. But, she still likes the original name better.

MrsDaffodill Same with my mum. She swapped my brother's first & middle names around and has spent the last 46 years wishing she hadn't!!

Are you absolutely sure neither of you will move into a different catchment area ?

Another thought, could you cope with changing the spelling? Darcie perhaps?

I really like this name too and it will be a stong possibility if our LO is a girl - I would be devestated if this happened, but personally I wouldn't use it as you will presumably be spending alot of time together and its just a bit weird to have 2 Darcy's and people will think u copied her, plus your friend may not be too happy about it either. Why don't u use it for her second name or keep it in case u have another girl??

I'm hoping no one 'steals' my names before I have this baby!

I guess it would be OK if you choose a different second name - so you could call your Darcy "Darcy Rose" or whatever when the two Darcys are together? Just a thought.

Also maybe chat to your friend about what she thinks. It may be that she wouldn't mind at all!

What about Dulcie? Much nicer anyway. Kate Garroway has a Darcie I think.

I would definitely pick another name. Darcy is pretty but there are lots of lovely girls names to choose from. Like suggestion of Dulcie and agree it is much nicer (though realise that is not the issue). If I was your friend and you named your baby the same as I had already named mine it would take the shine off it for me a little, likewise if I were you I would not feel the name was as special to me if someone close had just used it. But maybe that is just me.

Darcy is the new Isabel though isn't it? Every second baby I hear about is called Darcy at the moment. I know 3 of them under 18 months old!

I'd change it.

Agree, Darcy is on the up and you now have the opportunity to pick something different. There will probably be quite a lot of Darcys around in next few years (it is a sign of this that you and your friend both independently came up with the same name!)

I'd change it (but then I'm not keen on it)

can we help compile a list?

Do you like Freya? Seems similar in style to me (not my style but still!)

Only you can decide whether to change it...

How about Maisie, Grace, Emma, Bethany, Holly, Georgia?

How about ....
Lucy
Rosie
gabrielle
Sophia
Louisa

If they're definitely going to spend a lot of time together, then I'd change it, especially since they're going to be so close in age.
Either swap Darcy and middle name round or find something similar, like Dulcie (which I don't like, but it does sound similar).

Dacy, Darby (like!!), Marcy, Marlie, Marnie, Miley.

I think if this is a good friend she should understand - I would never not choose my name of choice just because someone else did. I would write a card though personally - to explain that this is what you had chosen and that you hope she can understand. If she can't she's not that good a friend imo.

I think if you give your DD a middle name you absolutely love you could differentiate the girls when together, by calling yours her first and middle name eg "Darcy Rose, stop hitting Darcy"

Also that is a sort of subtle acknowledgement that the other Darcy was 'here first'!!