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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

name after hubbys squezze?????

62 replies

cath100 · 05/05/2011 20:48

a few years ago my hubby had himself a little fling, i forgave him and am now pregnant. he want to name the baby after his mum, but the problem is that the shortened version of that name is the same as the girl he had the fling with...
i dont want to be moany BUT...

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

TheRhubarb · 06/05/2011 13:29

Compromise with middle name?
But yeah, screw tradition. That's HIS family tradition, not yours. Why is it that it's always the male family tradition that is deemed more important.
Tell his parents that you do not want to be reminded of his slutty mistress or your mother in law every time you call your child's name. You will be carrying this child for 9 months. You will experience the discomfort that comes along with you. You will go through the pains of labour. You will be the one who pushes a melon head out of your vag. You will be the one to have stitches (probably) afterwards and you are the one who bears the scars of childbirth for the rest of your life. Therefore you can call the baby what the hell you want to and he can just take a running jump!

And while he's at it, what's with fucking someone with his mother's name? That's just creepy!

TheVisitor · 06/05/2011 13:29

Tell him to do one on this.

MelinaM · 06/05/2011 13:58

TheOriginalFAB · 06/05/2011 14:01

Absolutely no way should this child be named after his bit on the side.

Just because it has been tradition to name a baby after the grandparents in his family doesn't mean it has to stay that way and become what you do too.

Tell him you will not name your child after someone he fucked and if he doesn't like it he can whistle.

LunaticFringe · 06/05/2011 14:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

oohlaalaa · 06/05/2011 15:37

I love the name Louisa, but DH's girlfriend of nine years (before he met me, and they'd been dating since they were 17) is called this.

squeak2392 · 08/05/2011 16:31

If you're absolutely sure it IS after his mum, but you still worry about it, then use it as a middle name, especially if it's something normal like Elizabeth or Catherine. Let's face it, you're gonna meet more than one Katy in your lifetime.

The more I think about it, the more I'd say don't do it.

wineisfine · 08/05/2011 17:26

NO. That name shouldn't be anywhere or even alluded to. Middle name, alternative spellings etc would all be out IMO.

I agree with the poster who said he gave up any 'right' to continue that tradition when he cheated on you with someone of that name. Tell the GPs that too. If they won't see it, that's not your problem. You should NOT do this.

One of DS's middle names is my dad's name and also the name of an ex - DH had no problem with it but I did run it by him and would've understood if he had a problem with it; plus it was an ex not a betrayal. I would NEVER EVER use a name with negative connotations like that.

fedupofnamechanging · 08/05/2011 18:40

There's being forgiving and there's being a doormat. If you agree to the use of this name (even as a middle name) then you will be the latter.

I'd tell both my husband and my MIL to fuck off if they so much as hinted that this is acceptable, let alone started expecting it.

Also you have a right to make your own traditions and not blindly follow someone else's. This is not your MIL's baby, so she doesn't get a say in what it's called.

I think your husband is bloody fortunate that you forgave him and are having a baby with him. Perhaps he needs a kick in the balls gentle reminder.

One of the joys of having a baby is getting to choose its name. Don't let anyone, including your fuckwit husband ruin it for you.

HubbaHubbaBubba · 08/05/2011 18:56

No, no, no, no, no!

jenga079 · 08/05/2011 19:57

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Just NO. Full stop.

If DH and PIL don't understand then just stick your fingers in your ears and repeat "no, no, no, no, no, no, no" until they get the message (or get worried and bring you )

speakercorner · 08/05/2011 20:35

My cousin did exactly this - gave her first child the same name as the woman her DH had an affair with. He left her for this woman, but it was her favourite name and she didn't see why she shouldn't use it. We all thought it was v odd but that it was her choice.

Having the name foisted on you is quite different - and very bizarre of your DH. There is no way on earth you should do it. Agree with the poster who said that he lost his right to this (very stupid) family tradition when he cheated on you.

valiumbandwitch · 08/05/2011 21:10

NO! you are not being unreasonable to say no to that!!!!!!

leftblank · 08/05/2011 21:44

He must have balls the size of coconuts to even suggest it!

ChippingIn · 08/05/2011 21:48

Fuck and off - the only two words you need when discussing this idea quite frankly.

IWouldNotCouldNotWithAGoat · 10/05/2011 01:42

Name your precious DD after his tart???
Um...NO?!!!!!

valiumbandwitch · 10/05/2011 09:01

I agree with leftblank! either that or NO self awareness at all.

Does he get it yet?

Tuggy · 10/05/2011 11:27

YANBU!!! he should have thought of that before the fling cheeky git

wheniwishuponastar · 10/05/2011 11:30

everyones responses are really making me laugh. but no its a terrible idea. he has such a cheek to even suggest it - very hurtful.

virginiasmonalogue · 10/05/2011 12:36

He is being an absolute knob-rocket.

HubbaHubbaBubba · 11/05/2011 11:20

I think that sounds like a compliment virginia ! :o

ShoutyHamster · 11/05/2011 13:14

Ha! Er - no way.

Tell them all that it also happens to be tradition that husbands don't go off having sex with other people. So, it would seem to be the case that a. 'We' don't happen to be doing tradition in this family any more and b. The fact that he cheated on you means that he's lucky he's getting to be a father at all, and the fact quite simply is that YOU will be getting to name YOUR CHILD, that YOU carried and gave birth to, in the way YOU want. And if your inlaws don't smarten up and start realising just how close their son came to losing them the chance to BE grandparents in the first place, they might just find that their lack of support for you means that they don't get to play such a big role in the life of their grandchild that they hoped.

I'm the vindictive type so maybe don't follow my advice here, but if it were me I'd be going off and registering the baby on my own, and then tell him that it's a done deal and that it serves him right for a. having an affair and b. trying to think it's ok for the name of HIS mistress to even be mentioned in the house again, let alone be the name of your child.

MIL can just go blame her son for having an affair. That's what's lost her the privilege of having a grandchild named after her. His fault, not yours.

HubbaHubbaBubba · 11/05/2011 15:47

Ooh shouty that's the 2nd or 3rd time I've noticed your posts in the past week - you make me laugh! You would make even me look calm and not feisty! :o

glendathegoodwitch · 11/05/2011 17:26

definitely not!!!! his bad - he can explain to mummy!!!!

whats wrong with Tallulah???? I have a Tallulah lol!!!

mumblemumhome4lunch · 11/05/2011 20:02

absolutely not !

If following the tradition of uysing family names is important to you then how about going for his grandmothers name or your MIL middle name ??? Keeps the connection but gives you a bit more choice and away from the offending name.

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