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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

How bad would it be to name our DC the same thing as SIL's boyfriend?

11 replies

LaWeasel · 26/04/2011 10:48

For context: We picked this boys name for DD before finding out she was a girl and want to use it if we have a boy this time.

But about a year ago DHs sister started dating someone with the same name - and they're moving in together soon so presumably he plans to stick around. He's a lovely guy, but I don't know if he/SIL will be mortally offended if we stick with our plan to use the name.

To make it even more complicated, he is from abroad and the name is his 'English' name, not his real one, but everyone including SIL calls him by this.

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BeerTricksPotter · 26/04/2011 11:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

greencaveman · 26/04/2011 11:14

I called my DD a popular name - she has a 10yo 2nd cousin with the same name and also we have a grown up friend with the same name. They both think it's nice.

FanjOeuForTheMammaries · 26/04/2011 11:16

Why would they be offended, flattered surely?

Original poster

LaWeasel · 26/04/2011 11:20

We're not very close, so it's obviously not a case of naming after him... I don't know if they'd take it as a sign that we don't think he's a permanent member of the family.

Being honest I probably would discount it if he had been around for longer/they were older because it would be confusing to have close family named the same. But I don't want to because it isn't certain that they'll stay together and I love the name so much.

Which makes me feel like maybe I'm being a bit judgemental and mean just because I don't want to let the name go.

OP posts:

FanjOeuForTheMammaries · 26/04/2011 11:25

It's not mean, its understandable you'd have reservations if you thought they might split up eventually, I think if they did, the name would belong to your dd by then though so it wouldn't be an issue

FanjOeuForTheMammaries · 26/04/2011 11:26

Ds, my phone changed it.to dd for some reason

Original poster

LaWeasel · 26/04/2011 11:27

Anyway - you're right, we'll just have to ask if they mind. Got to tell them I'm pregnant first though!

OP posts:

greencaveman · 26/04/2011 11:41

I would find out at the 5 month scan if the baby is a boy as if it's a girl you won't have to ask at all.

wolfhound · 26/04/2011 11:49

I think wait till after the baby's born. If it's a boy, use the name you want. Tell your SIL and her BF that it's the name you've had picked out for a long time, and you've always loved that name. As someone else said, they'll probably be flattered.

squeak2392 · 26/04/2011 21:00

I don't see the problem with this. The only problem would be if they had a messy break up.

Just mention it to them before you actually go ahead with it. A lot of people would take it as a compliment, even if the baby wasn't actually named after them.
One of my ideas for a girl is Juliet, but my brother's wife is Julie. This doesn't bother me, and I doubt it would bother them either. They'd love it if they had anything to do with naming my kid.
Things like that are just a bit confusing sometimes, but sons named directly after their fathers get along fine. I understand why you're worried, but I highly doubt it would actually OFFEND him. If it's not his real name, then he obviously likes it.

squeak2392 · 26/04/2011 21:04

Oh just read your second post about not being real family.
I think that would only happen if you didn't recognise that it was his name as well. Definitely consult them first.
As I say, he obviously likes the name if he chose it for himself, so it's not unreasonable that you like it too.

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