Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Need help, me and DP can't decide on a name.

14 replies

Yukana · 13/04/2011 08:53

First of all, while our name choices could be considered unusual to some people, we both have unusual names ourselves. :)

We found out we are going to be having a little girl, but early on in my pregnancy talking about names was stressful, and it seems to still be stressful for both of us.

Now, we've thought of alternatives and come down to Ciel - which means sky, or heaven, or Freya, as in the norse god of love.

We both have blue eyes, our parents both have blue eyes, and so on, so I'm pretty certain she's going to be a little blue-eyed girl. We also both have dark hair, and I know nothing is certain but it means it wouldn't be unusual for her to have dark brown hair.

DP is extremely stubborn when it comes to names and doesn't like budging, I've had to think of a lot of alternatives. He likes Ciel, but wants his choice - Freya, to be the first name. and Ciel to be the middle name. I feel pressured into choosing Freya even though I would prefer it as a middle name. I feel Freya is not only much better suited to a blonde girl (as the norse god had long blonde hair), but it's also becoming increasingly common. Something we agreed upon at the start was we want our child's name to be unique.

Now here's the main problem. If we choose Freya, I feel as if I have not really contributed much for some reason to my first and much wanted child's name, especially as his last name I will definitely be taking when we get married. (We are engaged). I don't really understand why I feel that way, perhaps I am just selfish. My partner will probably be upset with me if I choose Ciel though, which he says is because when we were discussing names for a little boy earlier on in the pregnancy, I was stubborn about what to call our little boy if we found out as such. However, later on in the pregnancy but before we found out the gender, I decided to choose his choice of a boy's name as I thought on it and grew to like it more.

The second problem is I have, as well as my mother has, caught my grandmother telling people the girl's name will be Freya. Because she likes it, despite the fact we have not yet decided on the name. Apparently she did the same thing to my mother. DP has also a couple of times told friends the name will be Freya.

I apologise this is so long! I just hate arguments and we don't seem to be going anywhere, so I would like to hear your opinions on our choices and our current situation. Be gentle please. :)

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
kreecherlivesupstairs · 13/04/2011 09:03

Ciel makes me think of a seal, not a nice name at all. Freya is pretty, I know three, none of them are blonde.
TBF, it is nothing to do with anyone else what you decided to call your DD. I certainly never discussed our name choice with anyone other than DH, let alone mother or grandmother.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 13/04/2011 09:04

Please don't choose a name because you think it is unique. I know many people who've choosen a name because they think it is unusuall or unique over another name only to find out when the child starts school there is at least 3 in the class.

Not sure on your choice, how do you pronounce Ciel?

Can sympathise with your feelings over your partner's attitude. If he is vetoeing so many names why do you have to come up with alternatives? Has he made a big list too? If not sit him down and make him do it, its only fair!

BuntyPenfold · 13/04/2011 09:08

Granny often seems to be the one who dislikes the chosen name doesn't she.

I know a granny who took ages to tell me the name for her grandson (Tyler) she disliked it so much she could hardly get the word out.

it is better if they meet the baby, fall in love with it, then you tell them Your choice for Your baby.

Does hair colour matter? That changes as soon as they can go to Superdrug on their own on a Saturday :)

MmeSurvivedLent · 13/04/2011 09:17

How do you pronounce Ciel? It looks pretty, but I am unsure of the pronunciation.

I think that you are putting too much emphasis on matching a name to the physical characteristics of your baby (who may look different to your imagination). My DD was born with jet black hair, but has now dark blonde hair.

Yukana · 13/04/2011 09:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lockets · 13/04/2011 09:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MmeSurvivedLent · 13/04/2011 09:38

You do have unusual names, in fact so unusual that you have very much outed yourself on this thread. It might not bother you, but if it does, you an ask MNHQ to delete that post.

We did the list on wall thing with both DC. Seeing the names there all the time did focus our minds on them.

If you really cannot agree on the name, then you have to think of something else. It cannot be one person's decision, you both need to be sure that it is right.

Fwiw, I prefer Freya to Ciel, simply because it is clear how to pronounce and not too unusual. You might like having unusual names, but your daughter might not.

Yukana · 13/04/2011 09:40

Survived - You have a very good point, I shall ask MNHQ to delete the post later on today. :)

I shall try the list thing I think, if anything will make us both happy and less inclined to argue, then that is something I am willing to do.

OP posts:
FollowMe · 13/04/2011 09:40

If unusual is important to you then I have to say that Freya is quite common/popular now!
Its a beautiful name, but not unusual.

If DH is not keen on Ciel and you are not keen on Freya then I think the best think to do is start from scratch on a new list to find one that you can both be really happy with Smile

Yukana · 13/04/2011 09:49

It sounds sound like a plan doesn't it? :)

I have just suggested the idea to DP and he smiled and nodded, so I think that's what we'll go with! Thank you so much for the thoughts and ideas. (We probably would have remained stubborn otherwise).

OP posts:
Yukana · 13/04/2011 09:50

*does
Having a funny morning.

OP posts:
ConstanceFelicity · 13/04/2011 09:53

Congrats on the baby :)

I love Freya but Ciel sounds like a cleaning product (What's the name of Lidl's own brand cleaneing stuff? I'm sure it's something like this...)

MmeSurvivedLent · 13/04/2011 09:57

That is Cien, not Ciel. (Lidl cream) My MIL uses it.

freesias · 13/04/2011 10:06

please don't name your baby a name that one of you is not happy with , i did thus just over a year ago i went along with dps choice as he refused to discuss other options . a year on it is still causing huge issues see the thread called name change dilemma am i daft below for the heartache doing this can cause.

fwiw i prefer freya although it is more popular (probably for a reason )than ciel .

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread