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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Don't want to use 'proper' name on birth certificate/passport

85 replies

Newmummytobe79 · 12/04/2011 16:48

Hi all,

Could well be a non worry if we have a girl but seen as we don't know the sex it's an issue we need to consider. We?ve struggled so much with both girls and boys names and have finally picked two we like! We?re not telling anyone as I can?t face someone putting us off the names and having to start the search all over again! The only thing we can?t agree on now is, if we have a boy ? I don?t want the ?full? version of the name on the birth certificate whereas husband does.

A few examples of what I mean (but not ours!)

Archie ? Archibald
Alfie ? Alfred
Artie ? Arthur

I just couldn?t stand it if baby was introduced as Archibald/Alfred etc ? when I?d want baby to be known as Archie/Alfie. Therefore I want the shortened version on the birth certificate ? husband strongly disagrees.

If I?m honest I do think it?s better to put the full name on birth certificates/passport etc and would most definitely want the this with the girls name we?ve picked ? but I just don?t like the full version of the boys name!

Any thoughts?

Thanks

OP posts:

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ivykaty44 · 14/04/2011 14:41

simple - not smile

Wafflenose · 14/04/2011 14:48

I have a 2 syllable name which nonetheless doesn't really shorten at all. I've never felt I had any choices re nicknames or anything - and does it matter? (I suppose I do have two middle names in case I'd hated the first name, but never really use them! And I gave my Kate a long, pretty middle name too!)

I'd still use the version of the name you are always going to use, but if OH is putting his foot down about it, I can't see the harm in having a long version too, but it might end up being pretty pointless if it's not going to be used!

stubbornhubby · 14/04/2011 15:31

people are tying themselves up in logical knots here.

in the mistaken belief that the name they put on the birth certificate is vitally important in determining what the child can later choose to call themseleves (to give them an option) ..... what they put on a birth certificate is DIFFERENT from the name they actually use for the baby.

thus demonstrating perfectly that the name on the birth certificate isn't that important!

my baby is called Lizzie
but, in order that she can call herself Beth later, on the bc I am going to write Elizabeth.

Well you might as well write 'Penelope'. whatever you write, she can still call herself Beth later if she wants to.

ivykaty44 · 14/04/2011 15:45

stubborn - but this is about what the parents start of calling the child/baby

what the person decides they want to be called later in life at either 5 when they go to school or 11 at secondary school or 18-19 at uni is up to them and they will choice or even later.

the op wants advice on what they do with the bc not what the child grows up to call themselves

stubbornhubby · 14/04/2011 16:51

yes and my advice is

choose the name you are going to call them
the only thing that makes any sense to put on the bc is that name
if you are not going to put on the bc the name they are called, but something else, there is no particular reason to put not-his-actual-name-but-a-similar-name . you might as well put their name in french, or 'penelope' or 'ashraf' or 'nobdie' for all the difference it makes.

FreakoidOrganisoid · 14/04/2011 17:34

DS has a short name on his birth certificate, not only that but it is also officially his middle name

A1980 · 15/04/2011 00:25

Put the long name on the BC. Your child may well like it.

My name is Alexandra and everyone calls me Alex purely becasue I don't have a choice. I like my name but no one says it.

BUT I get very annoyed when people introduce me as Alex especially at work events and I get even more annoyed when I get reffered to as Alex on official correspondence and letters at work. Alex is my nn but I prefer my proper name to be used in fromal correspondence and on work documents.

Plonkerr · 15/04/2011 00:34

I don't understand why anyone would give their child a name that they don't like

Bonkers

cat64 · 15/04/2011 00:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

choux · 15/04/2011 00:49

I am known by a nn and really dislike my full name. No one who knows me uses it not even my parents. But I get called it at the doctor's, whenever work make a list of names from HR records etc. When booking plane tickets for me I have to make sure friends are aware of the exact spelling etc.

When I started my current job my email address had already been set up as full name and I was introduced to everyone as full name. I spent the first week asking people to use my nn and requesting IT change my email address to my nn.

If you don't like a name and don't plan for your child to ever be called it, don't give it to them on their BC!

justbeingmummy · 15/04/2011 01:52

Ive got an Alfie, never even considered putting Alfred on the birth certificate as in my eyes that is not his name. He has always been and always will be Alfie and he now gets shortened to 'Alf' by everyone so no matter what name you use on the birth certificate people will always shorten it.

Ive just registered my 2nd DS as Jamie and never considered James as again to me its not his name. :)

sleepywombat · 15/04/2011 02:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

exoticfruits · 15/04/2011 07:35

I hope that he isn't like the Jamie I know-he refused to be called it at 8yrs and insisted on James-just as well it was on his birth certificate. (his parents never intended him to be anything but Jamie)
Much better to give the options.

Margles · 15/04/2011 08:48

It's all very well saying ' we will use xxx as a nickname' but nicknames have a habit of appearing and attaching themselves to the person!

stubbornhubby · 15/04/2011 09:07

choux -I can understand passports - but why did you give your employers then name you DON'T want to be called by in the first place????

exoticfruits · 15/04/2011 09:17

They only attach if the person likes them. I introduce myself by my nickname-if I wanted the full name I would insist they use it. I am grateful that I have the full version and use it in formal occasions.
Once you give a DC a name you lose control over it, once the DC has a preference-therefore it is nice to give them the options.

ivykaty44 · 15/04/2011 10:25

but why does it matter if Jamie is on a birth certificate and everyone calls him James as he likes it? if he is happy being called James, then he says "Hi I am James" when asked his name - people will then often call him James.
I notice that people refer to me on here as Ivykate, I don't care really but if I did I would correct them and say no my name is IvyKaty not Kate regardless of the fact on my birth certificate my name is written Esmerelda

burntsienna · 15/04/2011 10:33

I'm afraid I find 'Jamie' very babyish.

wellwisher · 15/04/2011 10:44

It really depends on the names. This is for life, and your son might one day want to be Prime Minister, a QC or even an undertaker... it would be unfair to register him as Jezza when you could use Jeremy. Thomas/Tom probably won't make of a difference.

ChippingInMistressSteamMop · 15/04/2011 10:57

Right - well to answer the question you are actually asking

I think that as you don't like the long name you shouldn't back down. You'd be agreeing to a name you don't like!

Either put the short name you DO like or start again with a new name.

justbeingmummy · 15/04/2011 12:33

Exoticfruits - I see your point but to me his name isnt James its Jamie and always will be, the 8 yr old boy saying I dont like Jamie call me James is no different to a boy being called Tim saying I dont like my name call me Roger...its not his name but you wouldnt put another name on his bc just incase he doesnt like what you've chosen.
I dont know many people who like their own names, me included, but thats the problem with letting your parents choose your name :)

ALittleLemonTwist · 15/04/2011 12:59

This has been a really interesting thread for me as I'm having the same probalm as the OP. DH and I love the name Maggie for a girl and there aren't any other girls names we both agree on.

However, my only issue is whether it is a name in its own right or too nick-namey. DH doesn't mind Margaret to go on the bc but I think its awful. having read this thread and some of the good points raised, I think we will stick with just Maggie (if we have a girl that is!). A good point my friend made was that by the time our dcs will be looking for jobs, so many of their peers will have 'unusual' names, that it will probably won't matter.

Off to tell dh that I've changed my mind again and that yes, we'll be sticking with Maggie if it's a girl and Maggie she shall be on the bc!

stubbornhubby · 15/04/2011 13:22

for goodness sake: when you apply for a job you don't have to apply under the name written on your bc!

you just apply using the name you are known by

SoupDragon · 15/04/2011 13:53

Are you sue you don't have to apply under your legal name for tax purposes?

ivykaty44 · 15/04/2011 14:27

the only reason you need a name is for tax purposes

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